Yoga Hosers

Kevin Smith definitely didn't shoot for the moon, or aim to make this for everyone, or even most...he made this for his fans from the Podcast, and to give his daughter an avenue to stretch her new found skills.

The movie is fun. the performances in it all shine at different moments...the two standouts being Johnny Depp as Guy Lapointe and Tony Hale as Lily-Rose Depp's Dad...Solid and funny.

The girls grew on me after awhile...which was surprising, only to the fact that watching teen girls on their phones and chatting back and forth...in real life can be annoying...But Smith makes it funny, and paced well.

Overall...if the preview intrigues you...see it.

If not...it's OK to skip...it's not for you.

Kevin Smith was good filmmaker. He made Clerks on a shoestring budget. He made the wickedly funny Dogma. And he made the surreal Tusk. But somewhere along the lines he seems to have forgotten certain things.

While Sophia Coppola wrote a love letter to Japan in "Lost in Translation", Kevin Smith seems to have scrawled something on a bar napkin for Canada in "Yoga Hosers". It's frankly a wonder why specifically this movie was made.

The story itself, is unremarkable. Two girls, played by the daughters of Johnny Depp and Kevin Smith play the two Colleens who wind up in the middle of some really strange stuff dealing with Nazi sausages. Yes that's right, Bratzis. The girls are cute but they're not great actresses. You really need more if you plan on building a career for these two.

But that's not the problem. The problem is why specifically is this set in Canada? Put it in the United States and the story would barely change. The only difference is there wouldn't be all those lame Canadian "jokes" that people say when trying to be clever.

Yes. We get it. Canadians have an accent. They say "sorry" differently. They say "zed" instead of "zee". And nobody, especially in Manitoba, says "aboot". Maybe that's an East coast thing but I've spent time in Canada and never heard anybody say it that yes. Sure, it's different than how we say it in the United States but it's not "aboot".

But literally that's the joke. Canadians talk funny. Ha ha ha. Get it? If not it's okay, it'll only be hammered home with all the subtlety of a sledgehammer. If you make the mistake of trying to take a shot every time somebody says "sorry" or "aboot" you'll be passed out in the first 10 minutes.

I'll admit it had some decent moments but overall, it was just terrible.

I'm really not looking forward to "Moose Jaws" because I honestly think it's just going to be more of the same.

In the 90's, Kevin Smith became an icon with "Clerks", "Malllrats" "Chasing Amy" and "Dogma". Unfortunately along his next works, he has never reached the same success again.

"Yoga Hosers" is probably the bottom of his career, with an unfunny and annoying story. His daughter and Johnny Depp's daughter acting are terrible and they only had this chance because of the influence of their fathers with the producers. The name of Johnny Depp is embarrassing and used to lure the viewers. In the end, "Yoga Haters" is a means to spend 88 minutes of your life watching a comedy without laughing. My vote is one (awful).

Title (Brazil): Not available

I love most of Kevin Smith's movies and I enjoy his recent stuff that steps outside his norms as he plays with whatever ideas intrigue him but this is the one notable exception. The movie had so much potential and fell so far short of it that the movie is virtually unwatchable. The acting sucks, even notable actors gave crappy performances in this. The fake Canadian accents and dialog had me turn the movie off twice before I was able to finally force myself to sit through the rest of it. Hopefully his next venture isn't as fantastically bad as this one was.

Saw the "premier" in NJ.

First off, let me say Kevin Smith seems like a genuinely good dude. Actually - he is undoubtedly a great dude. Listening to him speak about film and the whole process was inspiring. It seemed like I was hearing one of my buddies talk. Very down to earth- but at the same time he'll throw out something ridiculous - but hilarious. Listening to him speak was arguably better than the movie. For the record- I wouldn't consider myself a HUGE Kevin Smith fan. I like him- but you know. I'm not one of the die hard Kevin Smith fans. I respect the hell out of him. I must admit though, I haven't seen his latest films.

"Yoga Hosers" had its moments. Johnny Depp is almost unrecognizable and had everyone laughing. For him to go from Black Mass to this is mind-boggling. Talk about versatility. The two main girls might not sit well with people - but with Mr Smiths prologue - I understood their performances. They are supposed to be brats who are obsessed with their cell phones. The movie has a bunch of cameos whom people will recognize from the past and enjoy seeing again. It also had a cool 80's arcade vibe. It's obviously not meant to receive Oscars or critical acclaim; but, nevertheless, it's a fun flick- with some interesting performances. The story itself is silly- in that unique Kevin Smith way. I did feel bad after at the Q and A when he kept saying he was a crappy filmmaker and that he has no skill (comparing himself to Tarantino). I know he's being humble, but it just didn't seem right hearing that. Clerks, Dogma, Mallrats? Classics man. He represents NJ well. I wanted to shout out but I was working. I think he just felt it was important to acknowledge the haters, and I respect that.

So- yeah. This is a tough movie to review. The best way to put it - it's so bad it's good. I think that's the point. It definitely had funny moments. Even some creepy ones. It is a comedy though - before anything else. It's a movie for all ages really. The theater was sold out and cracking up. I do kinda wish they used less CGI - but for this type of story - it is somewhat necessary. It's a shame people have labeled it as "a play date" just because of the father /daughter + father/daughter thing. That's what Mr. Smith said at least.

Overall, if you're feeling up for a weird, funny B - movie and you're a fan of Kevin Smith and Johnny Depp- I suppose it's worth a watch. I had a good time. Like I said- it's so bad it's good.

6/10

P.S. Very cool to learn Kevin Smith and I were born at the same hospital. Riverview Medical Center.