Jay and Silent Bob Reboot

I am actually not sure if "Jay and Silent Bob Reboot" even got released. I cannot imagine how it could because that would mean that some studio executives somewhere would actually have to endure this "film" for two hours.

I doubt this review will help anybody because I could not even make it through half of the "movie". I watched it up to a "scene" where the blond fella who is Jay and Silent Bob go to some fast food restaurant, and the scene was so stupid it defies any kind of logic of how this thing would ever get released even on some obscure cable station. Kevin Smith doesn't speak when he plays this character so he just makes these dumb faces and moves his head around and somehow this is supposed to be really funny. Do even the most diehard fans actually laugh at this? Does Kevin Smith think he has great physical comedy skills or something? I really cannot think of many performances that come off more awkward, it just doesn't work at all. I don't want to ever think about this stupid thing ever again. Can you imagine how many good screenplays were never produced and this ridiculous crap gets made. Truly just painful in every way. It's not even fun to make fun of it because it's just too boring. Maybe Kevin Smith can take this act on stage and stand there and make those stupid faces to all his diehard fans.

I don't know what the story is even about or what happens to silent bob and his friend, just do yourself a favor and never look at this one. If your friend suggests watching this, just punch him in the stomach and go to bed.

I will not even rate this thing because I cannot seem to find a way to give it less than one star.

Following his near-death heart attack, Kevin Smith self-finances a film that redefines self-indulgence. A film in which he casts his friends and family, and not only allows you to catch up with characters from his previous films, but is impenetrable to anyone without a working knowledge of them.

Having learned that Hollywood is planning a reboot of "Bluntman and Chronic" a failed superhero franchise from a decade past. Jay (Jason Mewes) and Silent Bob (Kevin Smith) must again cross the country from New Jersey to California to stop the movie, based on themselves, from being made. A chance encounter has Jay reunite with Justice (Shannon Elizabeth) who informs him that he has a daughter, Millennium (Harley Quinn Smith).

If, by any chance, you're planning on watching this movie having not previously watched the films that make up Smith's view-askew-niverse, just don't. 'Impenetrable' really is the right word, character's come and go without explanation, many lines are call backs to something that happened, or was said in one of the previous movies and without that back knowledge I'm not sure that the film would even make sense to you. This is not to say that with that prior knowledge, the film is brilliant, or good, or even passable. The flaws are apparent, even to those of us that do have it. The performances are generally poor, the story is weak (even if you accept the meta-commentary aspect of the film rebooting "strike back") and most of the jokes don't land. It is a tick box exercise in seeing a character, or actor again, with everything else hung around that. I'm so happy that Jason Mewes is still alive to be in the film that this seems like a churlish comment, but his dentures bend his lips into such an odd pout I kept thinking that it was someone else and it was a constant distraction.

However. As it came to an end - I found I couldn't bring myself to actually hate it. There was just enough in the moments with Ben Affleck, Chris Hemsworth, Stan Lee, Millie's interactions with Jay and the stuff at Chronic-con to drag the score up a little and make me look forward to, when hopefully shorn of quite as much indulgence, "Clerks 3" and "Mallrats 2" see the light of day.

There's just enough Nostalgia to make me finish it though I feel stupider for doing so. Bad acting, lazy script and jokes that just don't land that pretty much sums up this hopefully last outing

Time takes its toll and it even takes its toll on your comedy chops. Not a whole lot of funny in this movie. it feels forced and uncomfortably so in some scenes. save yourself some money and just rewatch the first one.

Its okay to put the dope down. Kev must have thought this was funnier than it was. The ending is better than the whole movie so stay for the credits.