The Finnish Line

I loved Benedikt Gröndal as the Finnish cousin and veterinarian Lavi. His comedy and highlights of Finnish holiday traditions was the best part of this Hallmark holiday romance built around a dog sled race.

Kim Matula plays Anya Kivelä, a legacy dog sled racer who has come to Finland to the home of Santa in order to race in the race which was her deceased father's last. And to the reporters' delight she is racing against the same man who beat her father in that infamous race. Along the way Anya meets family members from her father's native Finland and she has supporting her in her corner her best friend and business manager, Elyse.

I absolutely loved seeing the dogs and hearing about the Finnish traditions...but really it was Lavi who I enjoyed the most.

I actually had to make an account just to make this review because I can't believe what I even just watched.

No Finnish actors hired for this, no one knew how to speak or pronounce Finnish, some of the cultural facts were just blatantly incorrect and some of the town names even were spelled wrong. I don't think anyone Finnish was actually involved in writing or fact checking this mess. You know none of the Finnish characters even had Finnish names? At one point they butchered the grammar of something so bad that it sounded pretty lewd to an actual Finnish ear, which at least was hilarious even tho surprising.

I mean it's a Hallmark movie so what are we expecting but I think the minimum requirement when using another country and culture as a setting is to honor that and not use it as a butchered trope that you probably only asked chatgpt about. If you made a movie that was set in Japan would you hire Russians to pretend to be Japanese while speaking butchered Japanese off paper while your American white girl adventures there?

It's a shame because I don't think the acting for the leads was bad and the story was almost cute. I was so excited to see a foreign movie about Finland too. The girl best friend character is very cute and supportive, and of course the dogs were completely adorable and the relationship building and chemistry was fine. But I could not in good conscience recommend this to anyone who actually cares, talk about cultural appropriation.

6.2 stars.

For the cool scenery and wonderful icy Finland and all that good stuff, this movie is nothing special for me. A good Hallmark film must evoke a sense of whimsy, romance, or endearment, but this sparks only a bit of each.

The dog sledding and racing aspects are interesting, but they are such a minor part of the movie that they are basically inconsequential until the very end. And there is a bit of suspense, but it doesn't redeem the story.

The script focuses mainly on the relationship of the two leads, but it's professional with an utter lack of heart or excitement. The only remaining possibility would be humor, which is completely absent.

I don't see the point of 'The Finnish Line'.

I want you to listen and I want you to believe me when I say that this is the best Christmas movie Hallmark has ever released.

This is down to Beau Mirchoff, the male lead.

I can't say I was extremely familiar with Beau's oeuvre before seeing this. But I did look him up prior to watching, just to check how hot he was and whatnot. He was hot. I decided to watch.

Hallmark's men are usually average or just above average looking - attractive enough to entice the lonely midwestern housewives who watch these movies (us!) but not so hot that they're unattainable. That is not the case with Beau. Beau is unequivocally out of our league.

But wait for it. As if that wasn't enough, The Finnish Line contains the longest shirtless scene in any Hallmark Christmas movie (I know because I have watched all of them - don't worry about it).

And what a scene it is. What a chest.

It begins at 41:54 (you're welcome) when we catch Beau and the female lead - don't ask me anything about her, I didn't look at her once - standing by a carved round hole in a frozen lake.

Beau is wearing is brown-ish plaid robe, which he proceeds to peel off before climbing into the freezing water. We get a few good shots of his full body while this is happening (he's tall, broad-shouldered, athletic) and catch first glimpse of his giant furry chest. Then the girl also gets in or whatever and they stay there chatting for about a minute.

But then, when you thought this is over and are getting ready to go back and replay that undressing sequence to make sure it's seared into your mind's eye for a good year at least, Hallmark decides to take it to a new, unprecedented level.

At 42:48 we get...Beau in a sauna.

And there is nothing to obstruct his luscious milk jugs here. No robe, no freezing water, no fast edits, no plot. Just close up, lingering shots of his face and torso, cropped just above the waist, transforming his massive pecs into a central character of the movie, one whose story and pathos we're emphatically invested in, a character worthy of its own sequel.

The scene ends at 44:48 and the audience reaches out for a cigarette.

Will we get that sequel? A Christmas movie about Beau Mirchoff's furry pecs? If Hallmark has any sense, we will. That's a Christmas miracle worth believing in.

One of the things that stood out to me in the story was Monty. I really hated him about as much as any Christmas rom/com villain ever. He went out of his way to pick on Anya including dirty tricks on the trail. But isn't it so typical of this kind of story that towards the end he has all kinds of excuses that make him the victim?

The race was a little confusing, but I think I figured it out. Anya talked about being so far behind she had too much time to make up that she would never win. Then when the final leg came, the way the movie showed the start and finish, it obscured that fact. I believe the explanation to how the finish could look close is because the start would have been staggered according to amount of time to make up, but it wasn't shown that way. Monty started first, but it looked like Anya left only shortly after that.

Then there is the climatic drama along the final leg. I'm not even sure what I think about that.

The trouble with rom/coms that center around contests, races, sporting events, etc is that the rom part of the movie gets diminished. I really didn't think Beau Mirchoff and Kim Matula had enough screen time to show much chemistry or explain why Anya and Cole fell in love. I loved Kim Matula last year in the Ghosts of Christmas Always, but I didn't care much for the way Anya got down on herself. Not sure how much that was writing or acting. Probably both.

The viewer gets to see a Finnish town that boasts as the home of Santa Claus and some local culture with it.