Queen Crab - Die Killerkrabbe

If I had to guess, I would say this was a SyFy Original, but I don't know that for sure.

I love b-movies, but if you're going to make a b-movie, it has to be compelling to make up for everything else--the meh acting, poor special effects, and typically meh plot or story. These don't always show up in b-movies, but all are here.

This is not a terrible movie, it's just not a good one, nor a terribly compelling one. Unfortunately, it wanted me to take it seriously, which I think is part of my problem with it. Worse, the pacing feels slow. There were some moments of fun, but I felt like I had to wait too long for something interesting to happen.

Not enough gore for my tastes, no nudity, no babes in bikinis--these elements are not requirements, but audiences who watch these movies tend to expect these things. Michelle Simone Miller does briefly appear at the very end in a tank top and underwear, and we get a scene with Katherine Metz in a bikini. That's it for the babe factor, which is a shame, because Miller in particular is gorgeous.

Not the worst thing ever made, just not interesting.

1-3 Don't waste your time 4-6 Good 7-9 Great 10 Outstanding.

This low budget movie about a giant crab keeps to its cheap roots, which is good, but makes the mistake of trying to appease the "hate mongering crowd".

In one respect, this does okay. There's a bit of a fresh approach. The idea itself was well founded, but the group picked the worst writer to pen this story, as if usually the case when too many cooks spoil the broth. The idea that "voting" on the right route and right way and right writer is a guarantee to get the most predictable and stereotypical product one can get.

It actually helps that the actors can't act, but it hurts that they can't do comedy. In fact, they're so bad, that one wonders if they were so distressed and disgusted with the amount of "hate" written into the story, that they purposely didn't try.

And that's the thing. The "hate" is there. The "small town camaraderie motif of golden age sci fi and of the Japanese Godzilla series was a positive and refreshing approach.

Here, it looks like a small group commandeered this into the direction of "no artistry" and "no enjoyment". The "joy" is totally gone from this.

It's a summation of the little things. The contrived death of a man caring enough to try to help a woman, the contrived death of a woman defending her land, the protagonist's sensible ward becoming a sheriff, a position voted upon by people who don't respect "respect".

Overall, a bad movie, but the fact that it doesn't "waste" resources or talent gives it a pass, and it is slightly watchable. It flops against golden age sci fi and Japanese monster movie sci fi, but fares well compared to the totally depressing and horrible sci fi of the 21st century.

Lots of flaws, but for modern sci fi, this is actually a safe pick for viewing. It should have had a better writer.

That's good because a garbage plate is a Rochester New York dish. It has a low budget, super cheesy, and good for what it is. I had no problem with this 1950's type of cheese fest. Other horror movie with the same budget takes themselves way to serious.

The film poster should be sticked next to "trash" in the dictionary

Way to go Tubi! What a brilliant creature feature!

Girl with awful parents befriends freshwater crab who strokes her hand with her (it's a girl crab!) mandible and thus an unbreakable bond is established between the two.

A bond that will dictate the girl's entire life and the crab's own life right into "adulthood".

Every creature feature convention trope is broken in this brave little flick, even though the special effects such as they are are cartoonish apart from those scenes towards the end lit by a phosphorescent full moon. Brilliant mood setter.

You can tell which idiots in the movie will meet their just ends at the crab's mandibles. You can also tell which characters are going to be positive and support the unlikely friendship between the girl and her pet with an exoskeleton. It's so sweetly rewarding that the morons die. I've NEVER forgiven Spielberg for killing off Eddie in Jurassic Park II, The Lost World.

The movie is rich in so much subtext: parents suck, some people don't deserve to be parents, freaks bond, girls bond, science is the only way to deal with freaks, quiet natural scenery can harbour unseen wonder and terror...and the ending just what I emotionally wanted to happen.

A 50s B grade SciFi flick with a difference. Parody with a heart of gold. Just loved the freshness of its themes.