Bitten

Awful vampire romance/comedy starring, of all people, Jason Mewes (you know, Jay, as in Jay and Silent Bob, from the Kevin Smith movies). He plays a paramedic who discovers a supermodel covered in blood and writhing in a pile of garbage and immediately drags her into his apartment to recover (presumably from an addiction to drugs, but really she's a vampire jonesing for blood). There are three good reasons to watch this movie, and you can see them all right here: www.gossipcraze.com/_mm/_d/_ext2/48245/big_Erica Cox01.jpg. Yeah, Erica Cox is extraordinarily hot. WAY too hot for Jason Mewes, at any rate. The film is pretty ineptly made. There's a threesome scene between Cox, another hottie and Mewes (who could probably just have stayed away), and it's one of the most incoherent sex scenes ever. The comedy is generally very unfunny, though I did like Mewes' filthy-minded co-worker (Richard Fitzpatrick), who keeps suggesting that Mewes sodomize his new girlfriend. Only worth it for the quality T&A. Otherwise, avoid.

Jack's (Jason Mewes) life is a shambles. His night-shift job as a paramedic is exhausting, his apartment is a hovel, and his girlfriend has dumped him. Walking home after another bleak night, Jack finds a beautiful woman (Erica Cox) in a pile of trash, covered in blood.

Her name is Danika.

Jack takes Danika in, and nurses her back to health. He doesn't know that she has a terrible secret. An addiction to a certain warm, red fluid. Jack's life is about to get very complicated.

BITTEN is one of the better low-budget vampire comedies. Much of the comic relief is supplied by Jack's work partner Roger (Richard Fitzpatrick), who keeps the filthy comments flowing. This helps to break up the darkness and gore.

Gruesome goodness...

Bitten is a low budget black comedy-horror film, in the realm of Shaun of the Dead. Jack is a paramedic who has just broken up with his girlfriend when he comes upon a sexy young lady, bleeding in an alley. He takes her to his place and quickly discovers that she is a vampire who needs blood in order to survive. Danika kills his ex when she tries to pick up her stuff. Jack puts a stake through her heart when she comes back to life.

The murders become more and more frequent and Danika's violence and thirst for blood increase. His best friend from work helps him work out a plan to terminate his troublesome new roommate, and this leads to an interesting conclusion. The acting is competent for what it is; not exactly Hamlet, but a fun distraction for ninety minutes.

There are B- grade movies . . . and then there are way, way . . . way below B- grade movies. This is absolutely one of them.

Actually, this is one of those films that is so completely ridiculous and awful that it could become a true classic, sort of the "Plan 9 From Outer Space" of the modern vampire genre'.

I can't possibly imagine anyone connected with this project was actually serious while they were in production. They must have been having quite a party offset, having way too much fun while shooting this thing.

Erica Cox is fun to watch (what a perfect name), I have to admit.

In an attempt to put some sort of life into this creation, there is a bit of quasi porn woven into the "plot" (I use that word very sparingly here). This could be quite fun to watch, if one is in the right mindset.

Perhaps some recreational imbibement should be recommended before attempting to view this.

OK . . . considering its comedy value, I could actually offer (gasp) 5 stars for this one. But be warned, this is definitely not academy award material.

A young paramedic by the name of Jack (Jason Mewes) suffered from his last relationship. He works night with his only middle-age perverter buddy (Richard Fitzpatrick). Jack meets a woman (Erica Cox) from a dumpster and helps her. Which this mysterious woman lost of a lot of blood. He cleans her up and falls in love with her. But this attractive woman isn't what she seems to be. She is actually a vampire. He decides to pick up lowlifes from the streets to feed her but soon enough... it gets out of hand.

Directed by Harvey Glazer (Kickin It Old Skool) made an interesting if not entirely successful black comedy/horror film. There's a few effective moments here and there. Mewes and Cox do well with their performances. The odd moments of dark humour doesn't always works but it later improves, when the story finally gets better. Although the conclusion could have been much stronger. Cox certainly looks great with her odd eye contacts, being topless half of the time and even with her face covered in blood. Worth a look, especially if you are a fan of Mewes. (*** ½/*****).