Lady Musketier - Alle für eine

I don't know why but I actually liked this show. It was entertaining, funny, sexy and overall fun to watch. John-Ryphus was great in it, I haven't seen enough of him and it was a refreshing thing (and appropriate) to see him in this. Usually shows coming from this network are a bit on the lower end-scale, but this one was better. I gave it a 7 out of 10 which as i mentioned for this network is good. I usually do not rate their work this high. This is an old story told a thousand times by a thousand different filmmakers and for some reason I actually enjoyed this one. Anytime La Femme is used in a title, I have found it to be something worth watching for one reason or another.

In this three-hour Hallmark presentation, Susie Amy stars as the title character, the daughter of D'Artagnan, played once again by Michael York. It's pretty cute to see him reprising his role from for the fourth time, and while Susie does tease him and call him "old man", he still has a twinkle in his eye and has enough spunk to spice up some romantic scenes with his wife, Susan Brown.

Similar to the original musketeer story where D'Artagnan sets up multiple duels in the afternoon, then ends up banding together with his challengers to fight off the cardinal's guards, Susie sets up a duel with musketeer Casper Zafer. Just as they start to fight, their identities are revealed. All four children of the original musketeers are reunited, ambushed by the cardinal's guards, and band together to defeat them again! While the younger musketeers are busy trying to uncover a plot by the evil cardinal, King Louis, played by Freddie Sayers, juggles his mistress, Clemency Burton-Hill and the political ramifications of marrying his betrothed, Kristina Krepela. Gérard Depardieu doesn't reprise his 1998 role as Porthos, but instead plays the chief bad guy, the cardinal! His cohort is Nastassja Kinski, but if you've seen any musketeer movies, you know that they're not the pair to root for.

Full of fun fight scenes, an interesting swashbuckling story, and a beautiful leading lady to look at for three hours, La Femme Musketeer is very entertaining. It's not too violent, since it's Hallmark, so you can watch it with the whole family and have a nice evening.

DLM warning: If you suffer from vertigo or dizzy spells, like my mom does, this movie might not be your friend. Some of the fight scenes use a handheld camera and it will make you sick. In other words, "Don't Look, Mom!"

The reason I gave this awful film a 4 instead of a 1 is the wonderful cinematography. This film is beautifully captured in its brilliant colors and wonderful landscapes. Unfortunately, the main character in this is practically unwatchable. The first time you notice that something is wrong is when we get our first closeup of our heroine. For living out in Gascony, France in the late 1600s, why is Valentine wear heavy eye-shadow, cheek blush, and bright lip stick? She does the best she can with the dialog she's given but ohhh, such dialog. Then, in a society that is 200 years away from Women's Suffrage, she expects... DEMANDS... to be treated equally with the men without even proving herself. She even rudely bursts into the Musketeer Commander's office and demands to speak with him. He rightly should have thrown out anyone who tried that except the King. She takes it as an insult that he is not impressed with her. She doesn't try to hide her feminine side at all including having a tailor made, curve hugging Musketeer uniform. This would have worked out better if it was more a "Connecticut Yankee" type where a modern woman is sent back in time but her modern sensibilities are entirely out of place in this film. I'm not sure why a great talent like Michael York agreed to appear in this travesty but I guess a paycheck is a paycheck. If you want to watch a film where a woman takes on a man's world, try Disney's Mulan. The story and acting are much better.

the costumes and sets were lavish, the actors were top-notch, but MAN, someone needs to tell that director to get his hands off the reins!

the entire thing was so carefully scripted and orchestrated it approached farce.

also, there were some serious ouchies: she does a flip off something-or-other in the middle of a sword fight and we clearly see her hat flip down to cover her face. of course, when she lands, the hat is perfectly placed and her hair is immaculate. pretty amazing, considering the thing wasn't pinned down and it was pretty big.

little things like that -- i found myself watching in a kind of morbid fascination as it veered from extremely good scenery and gorgeous costumes to unbelievably stupid plotting. example: there's a scene in which she makes a huge fuss over having to wear a dress. she spends the movie running, leaping, and generally doing the Errol Flynn in a musketeer's uniform. so what does she wear to accept her reward from a grateful king?

a massive, gigantic, elaborate, silver ball gown, of course.

This actually isn't that bad. Historically it's complete rubbish, of course (and why is *D'Artagnan* always the one who ends up with a daughter instead of a son? -- see the enjoyable "D'Artagnan's Daughter" of 1994, for example!) and Susie Amy's unfortunate accent grates every time she opens her mouth, but as modern-day swashbucklers go, it was refreshingly free from knowing allusions and would-be updating of the genre. It was just played straight out for the adventure, and all the better for it.

The 'younger generation' - the sons of Athos, Porthos and Aramis - were well-written, acquiring individuality of their own even before we found out who they were supposed to be, and not just clones of their respective fathers. I loved Aramis's offspring as a devout gambler, and Athos' as a cocky womaniser... The Musketeers themselves I thought bore relatively little relation to the characters of the book, with the exception of Michael York's very welcome reprise of his classic role as D'Artagnan. Experience really does show, I'm afraid; he completely acted Susie Amy, for one, off the screen. I'd far rather remember him this way than in the terminally un-funny 'Return of the Musketeers' from 1989 -- a corpse that should have been let lie if ever there was one -- and was extremely appreciative of the opportunity.

I watched the first episode on a whim. I was sufficiently hooked to bother to video-tape the following one when I knew I was going to be out... and bother to watch it immediately I got back, an accolade if ever there was one!

An attractive-looking cast. Good comradeship, avoiding too-obvious romance. Depardieu, playing an Italian-speaking character in a Francophone milieu with a heavy French accent, was out of place, and poor Susie's lower-class London tones were equally inappropriate. Not a classic... but far from the embarrassing mess it could have been.