All About Anna

Awful, awful, awful... what a terrible excuse for a film, pathetic idea, poorly executed, terrible cast, the main guy is a Thor like douchebag of epic proportions! It's films like these that strike fear into my own heart when I think about directing a film, that I too may make something as God-awful and dreadful as this...

If you've ever seen "Sorted" by Alex Jovy, you'll have an idea of how vapid and terrible this film is...

If this is what happens with the "democratization" of filmmaking due to digital video cameras, I say bring back totalitarianism hence forth...

Just burn the master tapes, forget it ever happened...

At one point in the movie, Anna's voice over asks if she has squandered her chance to be with Johan, and that's the point where I had to explain to my girlfriend why I was yelling "yes, you muppet, and it's your own fault!" And then I had to explain why I was watching someone else's home video.

This movie was shot in the Dogme 95 style, and that doesn't do it any favors. Though, in all fairness, I don't think I would have enjoyed it any more if I had been able to see what was going on.

Anna is alright, I suppose, but her voice overs were a little grating. Blame that on English not being her first language.

Johan was... something else. Though early on he did briefly look like Owen Wilson achieving a mild orgasm, but that wasn't during a sex scene, so the jury is out on whether that's a good thing.

Those two pale in comparison to what in my opinion has to be the worst imitation of a human being to have ever been put on screen: Camilla, the roommate.

I firmly believe that this is the kind of roommate who creates serial killers. I think Jeffrey Dahmer had a roommate like her and decided "If I kill and eat a bunch of people I can go to jail so I don't have to listen to her anymore." Hence, the best part of this movie was when Camilla performed oral and I didn't have to hear her cough up noise for a few minutes.

To keep myself from going off on a tangent about what I believe is an extra terrestrial who crashed near the filming location, I shall conclude by saying that if this film had been about logical thinking, sane human beings, the runtime could have been cut back to half an hour tops.

If you enjoy Dogme 95 style films you'll want to give this one a quick look.

Everybody else, just put on some Scandinavian porn.

'Tagline: Not since Dogme95 has passion felt this real.' - 'To achieve a realism beyond even Dogme95'. The makers of this film clearly wrote this - if not it must be someone deprived of all his senses. First of all: to even attempt to put this movie in the same league as movies by Von Trier or Thomas Vinterberg is so misguided I do not know whether to laugh or cry. This is nothing more than a porn movie (a bad one at that)trying to create some aura of intellectualism about it - and much like Catherine Breillats Anatomy of Hell it fails miserably. There are hardcore scenes in this film, and it is even sold as porn in Denmark. Two of the actresses have made more than a few porn flicks... Lars Von Triers Idiots had hardcore porn in it too, for at split second - but that does not mean that there is any viable excuse to put it in - there is nothing in the way of motivation or storytelling that suggests that hardcore scenes could have a defining impact on a movie - it's put there as shock value only, which in this day and age is just daft.

There is not a single capable actor in this film, Gry Bay is best known in Denmark for being willing to do most anything in front of a camera (this film more than proves that). The camera movement is as uninspired as the script, there seems to be no greater design to the angles chosen, and the editing seems rather random, and does not lend this movie anything in the way of flow. Generally the post production is shoddy at best and by the looks of it the proposed 'realism' and Dogme familiarity (SIC!)is the excuse for not making a decent product... The fact that Zentropa would have their name associated with this amazes me - even if they have produced porn before it was of a much higher standard... Because... It's just porn, mum

An English language film shot in Denmark with a European cast, "All About Anna" is a co-production from Innocent Pictures and Zentropa Productions, best known in the United States for award-winning feature films like Lars von Trier's "Dancer in the Dark" and "Dogville" starring Nicole Kidman and James Caan.

A slice-of-life mainstream romantic comedy with explicit lovemaking scenes, "All About Anna" is erotica made by women, for women and about women. Despite its graphic sexual content, It's not a shadowy dark night of the soul, as earlier, similar efforts like "The Devil In The Flesh" and "The Brown Bunny" strained to portray. It's simply entertaining and gently arousing, and aimed squarely at ladies and couples. Successful or not (and this critic feels, by and large, that it's a success) "All About Anna" represents a new genre: a fusing of the Northern European ambiance and pretty photography of that 60s classic "Elvira Madigan" (which this film more than slightly resembles, despite a much more upbeat ending), with a distinct feminist sensibility and startling, you-are- there hardcore photography.

Danish director Jessica Nilsson (whose background includes both award-winning short films and cutting-edge music videos) brings a trendy indie sensibility to the film's visual style; the DIY-roots of Dogme95 and the association with Lars von Trier are combined to make "All About Anna" nothing so much as a lush tableaux of desire and abandon.

The deceptively simple story focuses on young Anna (portrayed with an abundance of grace and style by mainstream Danish TV and music star Gry Bay), a young theatrical costume designer, who's focused on her career to the point of shunning romantic entanglements. But her concentration is shattered by a brief encounter with her ex- boyfriend Johan. As she begins to question her choices in life and love, Anna's dilemma ironically stems from her very determination to be an independent, self-actualized woman. While yearning for romance, she fears the pain it may entail - but even more, She fears loneliness even more. In a world where "no pain, no gain" seems to take on new meanings all the time, Anna is forced to make a life-defining decision.

Loneliness is certainly one of the most universal subjects of European cinema, from Bergman's weighty meditations on faith to Truffaut's engaging slice-of-life comedies. Thankfully for everyone who dreads the pretentiousness that seems endemic to so much "serious" erotica, "All About Anna" cleaves to the latter camp.

The much-ballyhooed unsimulated sex scenes emerge as nothing so much as a natural part of the storyline. This simplicity of the explicit content is heightened by the fact that the crew and actors utilized here obviously had no experience in making "adult" films. Indeed, porn fans seeking gynecological close-ups and standard-issue "money shots" should look elsewhere, as this is one sex movie that refuses to indulge sex movie clichés. In many instances, the camera operator's choice to shoot much of the lovemaking as a series of full body shots seems to actually work against the conventions customary to adult - but they speak volumes in terms of exteriorizing the inner lives of central characters.

Beguiling Gry Bay (who, whether intentionally or not, is a dead ringer for the actress who played the titular character in "Elvira Madigan" nearly 40 years ago) is wholly believable both in and out of bed, by turns fetching, troubled, awkward, and sensitive (without ever being maudlin) in a performance that truly exists in a universe of its own, as if telegraphed from an alternate plane where "real movies" and "porn movies" are not mutually exclusive concepts. Eileen Daly happily lightens the mood in a winning supporting role, and French porn icon Ovidie is memorable in a lesbian liaison with Anna (although her Gothic, fetishistic look and personality would seem to suggest she'd be more at home in a Dario Argento erotic-horror opus than a quiet slice-of-life comedy like "All About Anna."

A final influence on "All About Anna" appears to be American cult director Monte Hellman, who while having worked under-the-radar in the U.S. for over four decades, has long been heralded as a genius of the "quiet film" in both France and Denmark (He even recently renamed his production company Quiet Films, in a warm nod to his Danish fans). As the director of "Two-Lane Blacktop," and executive producer of "Buffalo 66" and Quentin Tarantino's "Reservoir Dogs," Hellman has made a career out of crafting somber, slice-of-life dramas that focus on the individual's Search For Meaning.

Imagine Hellman being given a free hand to shoot his own explicit adult film, with a wry, literate script and more than a few knowing references to "Elvira Madigan," and you've got this precocious film, a movie that beats all the X-rated filmmakers in the world to the punch at creating an "adult movie" that's not only also a "real movie" but a truly "good movie" as well.

"All About Anna" is a love letter from Denmark, written in English, sent from the heart, a "Vinland Saga" for American audiences.

I saw a bit of this last year and all i can say is this.

I hope they can afford a tripod next time The miserable acting is barely saved by the hard porn This is not a film IT IS porn There is no lighting.

I am one for the old films and i do not think a movie needs all the bells and whistles like CG and effects but this has nothing and i mean the porn is so unnecessary and it is meaningless like in that stage version of cabaret. This film is like the mind of a teenager with no imagination. The inexperience is so clear though with practice a couple of the cast could get good but this... Well i don't real know what it is... a cross between the ground shots from Miami vice, the talent of the child between enter Sharai and son of dork and sex like you-porn.com Though the blond girl is quite pretty she should have a career if she took the time to research the other contributers like the director and camera man for a school rec it might pass as appalling but as a film there is a long way to go sorry