Primal Creatures

This is one of the most hilariously bad movies I have ever had the privilege to see.

I watched this on DVD with a bunch of friends one Friday night and we just couldn't stop laughing from start to finish.

The story is simple enough: terrorists hijack a convoy they think is carrying weapons grade uranium, but it's actually carrying a bunch of man-eating dinosaurs. Easy mistake to make. Cue a startlingly incompetent team of Army Special Forces to tackle the prehistoric beasts. They are led by Colonel Rance, played by Scott Valentine; a man who seems to have perfected 'Smell the fart' acting, as advocated by Joey in Friends.

There's plenty of gore and an awful lot of shooting, but unfortunately Rance's team seem to have a problem aiming their weapons in the general direction of a horde of giant, lumbering monsters. Also, the lights always seem to flicker and go out whenever a Velociraptor attacks (preumably so we can't see how bad the creature effects are).

Having said all that, we all had a great deal of fun betting on who was going to get their head bitten off next.

As a Jusassic Park / Aliens style action adventure this movie stinks worse than a dinosaur's crotch, but as ludicrous, tongue-in-cheek entertainment it's a roaring success.

Primal Species (1996, Dir. Jonathan Winfrey)

International terrorists get a surprise when their cargo turn out to contain living dinosaurs. The army commando team now have to think fast, if they want to prevent the extinction of the human species, instead of the reptiles.

You look at the cover and you gain your first impressions of the film. That is pretty much it. The acting is only just acceptable from a few characters. The story is poor, with the whole film based on the army and the marines trying to kill the dinosaurs. This film came out three years after 'Jurassic Park'. Instead, this film looks to have come out 13 years before 'Jurassic Park'. The dinosaurs costumes are so poorly made, and i do mean costumes. There are obviously people dressed up, and this film makes no attempts at hiding this. A scene when a dinosaur runs down a corridor is created in a way, in which it looks like someone is riding the creature. The is one good thing, which comes out of this film. The short running time. At only 1 hour and 15 minutes, it doesn't waste too much of your life, but still try to avoid it altogether.

"It's like a Friday the 13th Nightmare." - Officer (Brian Currie)

All Jurassic Park fans should love this. It's a low budget Jurassic Park only scarier and gorier.

It starts off with a few pathetic terrorists trying to steal Uranium to build a weapon but when opening what they've stolen they find out that it's 2 Velociraptors. They've also stolen an asexual reproducing T-rex which appears later in the film. Their mistake proves fatal. The army investigate it. They find out about the Carnosaurs but they have to capture them alive. This proves difficult.

The special effects weren't great but at least they didn't hide the dinosaurs so the audience could barely see them.

This film is gory so if your squeamish avoid this film at all costs and there is enough gore to satisfy gore hounds. This film is also scary and suspenseful.

I recommend this film to all those people who loved Jurassic Park. If you see it and its cheap, buy it! 8 out of 10.

Carnosaur was a useless film which tried to capitalize on Jurassic Park. So what made them want to make a sequel? Beats me. Then they made a third movie which makes you think of finding thr person who dreamt the whole premise up and kill him. Yes I'm afraid this is a bad movie with no plot crap acting fake looking Dinosaurs and other horrible flaws. I suppose you don't need the Dinosaurs looking real if the plots good and actings good but this looks like it was made in Roger Cormans garage. So when you are looking through BlockBuster for a film that looks entertaining don't pick up Carnosaur 3 because it has no potential for a movie.

Well here I go with another B industry movie. It's sad enough to see some badly made films but I don't care if a B industry or C industry produces the film. Show some effort in your work. The characters are really bad. The acting isn't in question in this one (surprise), but plot is. How can a tight-knit squad witness two of their fellow soldiers butchered, and then go on as if nothing happened. What sickened me was how the writer even threw in the remaining members a scene where they joke about how nice the doctor's ass was. Give me a break.