Bullseye - Der wahnwitzige Diamanten Coup

My review was written in July 1991 after watching the movie on RCA/Columbia video cassette.

Michael Winner's attempt at a rollicking caper comedy falls flat in "Bullseye!". Film opened in London last November but is just a direct-to-video title with big name stars for domestic consumption.

Inspiration was evidently the smash "A Fish Called Wanda", whose star and creator John Cleese makes a cameo here. Unfortunately that film was probably a fluke since the caper format seems tired indeed this time. It' a pity, since Winner made one of the best '60s pics in the genre, "The Jokers".

Here, Michael Caine and Roger Moore front for a preposterous story line. Both are criminals, whose exact look-alikes happen to be government scientists who've devised a nuclear fusion energy process that promises cheap electrical power.

With their old partner Sally Kirkland as instigator they set about to steal the corrupt scientists' cache of diamonds (taken as bribes from foreign powers) from a safety deposit box.. This feat accomplished, the second half of the film chases around Scotland as the criminals are supposedly working for UK and USA government agencies to get the scientists' formula and thwart the baddies' attempt to sell it to the enemy.

Winner delivers his usual sprightly pace, but the frequent sight gags and dumb jokes aren't funny. Both Caine and Moore strain for laughs, the former made up like W. C. Fields with a false nose and latter bugging his eyes out in frequent astonishment. Moore's real-life daughter, pouty Deborah Barrymore, is cast as an unlikely 22-year-old CIA agent.

Kirkland, who wears gaudy outfits for no reason in the later reels like she did in "Cold Feet", is okay in a strictly functional role. In addition to Cleese, Jenny Seagrove and Patsy Kensit make pointless cameos.

Shot in 1989, pic has dated rapidly, especially a final gag involving a lookalike of then-prime minister Margaret Thatcher. John Du Prez, who scored "A Fish Called Wanda", punches up the film with catchy music, but his jaunty main theme is way too close to John Dankworth's classic "Morgan!".

Yes its as funny as a burning burns unit but on the other hand it isn't 'Large'

Bullseye is the kind of film that lovers of the truly terrible will relish.

Its got bad everything, accents, acting, directing, script. Its like the Superman 4 of comedy.

I remember it being released at the cinema, how did that happen? Its probably made by Cannon so they could at least get it into their own flea pits (god bless em)

I'd love the DVD. If you like this film may I recommend Sextette.

One evening,while channel surfing, my friend and I came upon this film on TV. In its own way, it was more astonishing than anything by Kurosawa, David Fincher or Takeshi Kitano. We simply couldn't believe what we were watching. We sat there as dumbstruck and as open mouthed as if we were watching Elvis doing his shopping in the local Sainsburys store. How could any film be such a complete failure? Even awful films usually have some saving grace, some ray of light, that stops your viewing being a completely worthless experience - one good performance or one funny line or even just some good scenery. 'Bullseye!', however, exists entirely in a vacuum; in a cinematic black hole. The script: No good. The acting: No good. The direction: No good. The editing: No good. Even the music: No good. Yet, later, I realised that the ray of light that I'd been looking for was actually in the fact that the film was such a total, glorious misfire and, if one watches it from that perspective, it's a wonderful film. The next time it came on TV I made sure to tape it and every so often I watch it again, in awe at its uselessness. It's nothing against Michael Winner personally. I'm sure he's a lovely bloke but, as a film maker, he makes a magnificent restaurant critic.

Winner really has hit the jackpot with this Bullseye!

The idea of pitting a good Moore & Caine against their evil counterparts can only be described as a stroke of genius. They act out both parts with the kind of style and charisma you would expect from these screen legends. They play off one another beautifully and you can't help being entertained.

Surely this was the film that they were both destined to be in, for them this is what acting is all about.

You have to credit Winner for the way in which he has drawn out such stirling performances from his two stars. They have not only cemented their megastar status here but have surely passed into the realm of screen legends. Class just oozes from their every pore.

This must surely go down as Winners 'Piece De Resistance' this is top drawer directing and you know eeeeeeeet.

If you haven't seen this film, make it top of your 'must see' list.

Also why not get 'Parting Shots' starring Chris 'Monkey' Rea it's doomsick tribes.

Not quite the bullseye, but nonetheless director Michael Winner would get enough amusement out of the pairing of English actors Michael Caine and Roger Moore in this riotously goof-ball and crude comedy caper that sees the pair playing dual roles. Two small time conman take on a job which sees them impersonating two look-alike nuclear scientists to use their identities to get into the scientific safety deposit box which is filled with millions of dollars worth of diamonds. However they are found out by the authorities, where they learn that these scientists happen to be crooked and they get caught up in the country's national security ("We're thieves, not spies").

Bumbling, cartoon-like slapstick of the lowest dominator, but I liked it a little more than its monstrous reputation. The performances are all over the shop, as an animated Caine shamelessly bellows out his lines while Moore goes about things in a dry manner. Sally Kirkland is a bright spark and Deborah Moore is a complete delight. The cast look like they are having a good time together. Then there's a clever little cameo by John Cleese along with Jenny Seagrove. The episodic plot is filled with twists and turns, as the characters bicker, find themselves being outsmarted, double-crossed and in some sort of dangerous predicament. While the board script is wittily madcap, if downright low-brow. Director Winner's arrant handling (odd camera angles) perfectly paints a local flavour to the surroundings, but the snappy comic timing can be messy and tiredly relying on the on-going gags ("What did they say?"). "Bullseye!" maybe lame, but joyfully crazy and loud comedy hokum.

"They say everybody in the world has someone somewhere who looks like they do".