Mutant Hunt

What in the name of God did I just witness? For anyone who is wondering if they should watch this movie (all 2 of you), leave it on the shelf unless you are planning on becoming a makeup artist. Let me explain. The story goes like this: Some evil woman is in this battle with some evil guy. Why? I don't know. This battle involves mutants/cyborgs. Why? I don't know. A foursome of heroes meet up with each other in hopes to disband the evil mutant army. Why? I don't know. They fight the mutants who seems to keep coming back to life and murdering civilians. Why? I don't know!!!

So here's the scoop: Either I'm an idiot who just didn't pay attention to this movie or this movie has absolutely no plot. This film is nothing more than a string of events strung together with cheesy music that sounds like something out of a homemade porno film and sound effects so bad, that they sound as if they were generated by someone slapping their hand against their knee and breaking some eggs on the kitchen floor.

The only saving grace of this film is the gore and makeup. This horrible picture really shows what the 80's horror genre was capable of when it comes to the blood factor. Some great stuff in here that still leaves me in shock of how it was pulled off, especially the mutant that helps the good guy; some great scenes with him. But otherwise, why bother with this crappy flick? The movie itself gets a 0 out of 10, but because of the gore and good f/x I'm giving it an overall 2/10.

Mutant Hunt is about some alien virus infecting these cyborgs and then everything becomes meaningless. I'm jumping on the bandwagon in terms of agreement upon the film's retardation. The story is non-sensical, the fights are just so dildo-like, the acting is trying and embarrassingly failing and so forth. But to hell with y'all, I like this piece of moronic $#!+. Why? I just have an affinity for stupid z-movie cyberpunk movies. So up yours.

Recently, I started browsing through the used movies bin at a local video store. You know the type, every movie marked down from $4 to $2. This is usually where you find old work out videos and videos that came with 80's toys (I think I found a Barbie Adventure in one of these once). Anyway this is where I discovered Mutant Hunt. The tagline on the box had me sold, "It's the 21st century New York and It's open season on cyborgs". The god awfulness of this tagline pretty much describes the god awfulness of the film. But that's actually the most entertaining feature of the film.

Mutant Hunt is by no means a good movie, or even a decent film. The script is terrible, the editing bites, and the camera work is abismal. However, if you want a film that you can repeatedly make fun of over and over again, this is your flick. My friend and I watched this film and made jokes throughout the entire thing, MST3K Style. One of our ongoing jokes was that Cyborgs are weak against wood and karate chops because that seemed to be the only thing that really had an effect on them.

I do have to give props to who ever was on the robot design, the cyborgs, normally just guys wearing sunglasses and are dripping fluid, generally look pretty terrible. However at one point, one of the cyborgs gets its skin torn off and we see the robotic endoskeleton. Its movements and looks were pretty good and you can see where 95% of the budget for this film went to.

Overall the film has some decent oneliners (including the phrase "space shuttle sex massacre" and one character who calls the cyborgs Jellyheads) but the true enjoyment of this film is really just making fun of it. This is the only redemption of the film. Jellyhead.

It's cheap and cheesy genre time with the no-talent independent filmmaker, who stumbles his way through this supposed "Blade Runner" riff. In the "future", mutant cyborgs are being injected with a special drug by evil, world domination minded scientist Z (Bill Peterson). The only man who can even try to put an end to Z's diabolical plan is mercenary / mutant hunter for hire Matt Riker (Rick Gianasi). Of course, Matt will get by with a little help from his friends, Johnny Felix (Ron Reynaldi) and Elaine Eliot (Taunie Vrenon).

The special effects and makeup are, surprisingly, not that bad, all things considered. Ed French created a puppet cyborg head that is pretty cool - and which does give the best performance in the movie! Everyone else is varying degrees of dull. Thankfully, the attractive female cast makes things worth enduring, especially Ms. Vrenon, who has an alternate job as an exotic dancer. The insistent pop music score helps to move things along adequately, no matter if the bulk of this production is inept from beginning to end. The fight scenes are somewhat less than exciting, and not exactly directed with much zeal. Kincaids' script is talky and inane.

Of course, who chooses to watch something titled "Mutant Hunt" and expects anything different? Truth be told, this viewer would still rather watch stuff like this than a lot of the mega budget crud churned out by Hollywood. At only 74 minutes long, this harmless bit of nonsense goes on no longer than it should.

Five out of 10.

I watched this specifically to see a cyborg dude with a super-stretched mechanical arm hold a guy in a radiation suit aloft by his throat, while cowering underneath them a rather voluptuous woman in another rad suit lay prone in a spotlight.

Sadly, this scene never occurred.