The Vineyard

The movie wasn't great, but it had it's moments. I think James Hong did a good job and found his character quite creepy. Some of the scenes including the spider scene were pretty scary! The fight scenes were quite good, especially when the preppy guy and his girlfriend were working together to defeat Po's big, burly bodyguards.

Most of the cast are one hit wonders (if you consider this movie to be a "hit"). They made sure to hire a young, good-looking cast including the gorgeous Karen Witter who played Jezebel. Dr. Po may have been 1000 years old, but his choice of a spouse was right on the money!

I didn't think much of this back in '89, but now the film serves as a fond reminder of a time when horror films didn't have to make much sense just so long as there were hot women in various states of undress, and lots of hokey special makeup effects with a touch of gore. The Vineyard offers plenty of those, as well as a hilariously bad party scene, spider vomiting, some questionable '80s fashion (including that classic male ensemble, cropped vest and three quarter length sweat pants), incredibly big spectacles (as sported by Hong Kong star Michael Wong), a nifty decapitation, James Hong hamming it up, and zombies. In short, it's as cheesy as hell and quite a lot of fun for it.

Hong, who also co-directs, plays wine producer Dr. Elson Po, who poses as a film producer to lure young victims to his island, where he uses their blood to create a potion that prolongs his life. Without this precious elixir, he quickly reverts to an aged state. His latest group of unsuspecting visitors consists of several very fit beauties, a couple of jocks, and journalist Jeremy (Wong), who is writing an article about Po. What follows is incredibly dumb, but rather enjoyable nonsense, that, like a fine wine, has improved with age.

6.5 out of 10, rounded up to 7 for all the big-haired babes.

The Vineyard sees fan favourite James Hong return as one of his most loved characters Lo Pan (Big Trouble In Little China) of sorts, in his self directed horror comedy which has a number of Hong Kong stars on board as a vehicle to help kick start their career (which seems to have worked).

Reminding me of the classics like Mr. Vampire, Haunted Cop Shop, and We're Going To Eat You; this great wee flick oozes that same appeal as those horror comedy HK classics of the 80's which also features an early role from Michael Wong (Beast Cops, First Option, Royal Warriors) which is comical in itself!

Massive Hong Kong producer and director Gordon Chan (2000 AD, The Four Trilogy, Painted Skin) co-produces the feature for Hong, as he creeps out the visitors of his vineyard island, posing as a film producer with a great location.

The plot is crazy, yet that's what gives it the same charm of the 80's HK films I love. Zombies, gore, comedy, crazy SFX all come together in this unseen, underrated little gem that entertains without you having to think too hard!

Famous winemaker Dr Po invites some young actors to his exclusive vineyard to audition for a film but in fact he is after their blood. Dr Po is actually a mad scientist with occult powers who is obsessed with immortality, for which he needs young blood. Throw in some zombies, martial arts, sex/nudity, dudes in tight tops with bulging biceps, a bit of gore, 80's fashions and music , this is quite a melting pot. Although it did get a limited theatrical release this movie is very typical of the straight to home video kind. I have the UK VHS which has a scary looking old hag on the cover, quite enticing though sadly her part is quite minor. The acting and script are far from Oscar worthy and the film is more fun than it is good but for me this is far more preferable than the majority of modern digitally shot CGI enhanced horror that is churned out these days.

James Hong plays here Dr.Elison Po,a famous winemaker who lives in a tropical island mansion.He is actually centuries old,but keeps his youthful appearance thanks to a jade amulet he stole from his mother(Vivian Lee)as a child.But the amulet is wearing out,and every so often Po ages hundreds of years unless he drinks human blood.To satisfy his needs,he has lots of women chained in his dungeon.One of his employees,a German film producer(Karl Heinz Teuber)brings a group of would-be actors and actresses and the slaughter begins!"The Vineyard" is an enjoyable horror-adventure filled with nudity and violence.There are zombies buried in the vineyard who keep rising from their graves every few minutes,crossbow battles,swordfights etc.I love the scene when a girl starts coughing up spiders while brushing her teeth!Despite rather amateurish acting this film isn't really bad(I've seen worse!)and I would highly recommend it to horror/zombie fans.