Geschichten aus der Gruft

Oh man, I miss this show so very much. I wish upon oh so many stars for them to bring it back. *sigh* There aren't many shows EVER to have a whole new storyline every episode. And for the ones there are, none of them can even begin to compare with this one. It had EVERYTHING; humor, horror, drama, and an amazing, original host to start each episode off: The Cryptkeeper.

There may be other shows that are similar, but none will ever have anything like the Cryptkeeper. When I was younger, I was terrified of him. But as I got older I listened more to what he said and realized how hilarious he was. Not because his jokes were funny, but more because of how corny they are, but yet he thinks they are just the funniest things in the world.

The thing is is that if you haven't seen this show then you definitely need to go out and buy the episodes. And if you don't feel like taking a big step like that, go rent them, then you can buy them. I, myself, am waiting eagerly for them to put the rest of the seasons on DVD so I can have a HUGE marathon of nothing but "Tales From the Crypt"!

Not only was every episode meticulously crafted into thirty minutes of ironic terror, but the forces behind it always remained credible enough to deliver star-studded episodes. Jon Kassir's Crypt Keeper remains one of the more sacred pop culture figures of recent years (when's the last time you saw someone trashing the Keeper? He's an icon for chrissakes), and while some of the stories may not have been on caliber with others (most of the "England" episodes never touched the Demi Moore/"if I can't have you, no one will" one), in the end, when the smoke had cleared and the show was over, you looked at it with a refreshing zing, as if you had embraced being had.

Bringing back the EC stories wasn't a simple task. Speilberg tried it with "Amazing Stories" and gave up after two long years. The "Vault Of Horror" got a limited run in 94, but failed. But Tales always stuck around, on its own terms, and gave up swinging.

NP: The Bobcat Goldthwait episode: only animated Tales ever: takeoff...Three Little Pigs

It is without exception the greatest series of all time. The acting by everyone was great and the Cryptkeepers's puns were hilarious (Just goes to show you kiddies, Be very careful what you Axe For Christmas, You Just Might Get it!) (I Call tonight's Putrid Piece "What's Cookin". This series will beat hands down any of the crap out there today. It was kind of like the Twilight Zone of the 90's. All the big and Upcoming stars were in the episodes. You had Lou Diamond Phillips, Priscillia Presley, Larry Drake, Ed Begley Jr, Judd Nelson, Christopher Reeve, Joe Pesci, Jeffrey Jones, Alan Ruck, Cheech Marin, Martin Sheen, Billy Zane, Anthong Michael Hall, Brooke Shields, and many others. The episodes were true to the comics and didn't try to change anything. The Best thing by far was John Kassir doing the Cryptkeeper's voice. That was fantastic and timeless.

There have been many shows that were never intended to be taken seriously, but "Tales from the Crypt" brings the idea to a whole new level. Each episode begins by descending into what appears to be a haunted house, where we get introduced to the delightfully creepy Crypt Keeper. He explains (as sardonically as possible) what we're about to watch. Then, each episode tells a story involving a really nasty situation; some involve monsters, others involve people doing really unpleasant things, but they all make one laugh. I really liked the episode where Don Rickles played a most unusual puppeteer, and also the episode where Christopher Reeve opened a restaurant...of sorts. Granted, this show was kind of ridiculous, but they never lost their timing, even with the Crypt Keeper's silly remarks. Just remember that, kiddies. Hee hee hee!

If you are a somewhat warped person with a dark sense of humor, you'll really like this offering. Obviously I plead guilty because I liked this, although one of episodes turned me off. Nonetheless, it's very entertaining because of the effective mix of comedy, suspense, horror and originality.

You only get six stories from this opening (1989) season of horror-comedy on cable television, but at a fairly cheap price, the DVD set still is well worth it.

In addition to the crazy stories, you get some surprisingly good cinematography. The picture isn't razor sharp but it's well-photographed. Some pretty big directors in the film business - Richard Donner, Robert Zemeckis, Joel Silver, David Giler and Walter Hill - are involved.

Each show features an actor or two who's familiar and they must have had fun making these. You can just see it as they ham it up in their roles. Warning: the language is rough. This is R-rated material....and perhaps only for sick people, as I must be.