Splash: Jungfrau am Haken

SPLASH (1984) **** Tom Hanks, Daryl Hannah, John Candy, Eugene Levy, Shecky Greene. Excellent fantasy comedy directed by Ron Howard about produce salesman Hanks who, unbeknownst to him, falls in love with a mermaid (innocently played nicely by Hannah) in Manhattan and asking the immortal question: Is love blind? Superb support ably handled by Candy as Hanks' would-be swinging bachelor brother and Levy as a mad-as-a-hatter obsessed marine biologist intent on exposing Madison (named after the avenue). Best bits: Hanks' opening soliloquy about him not finding love in a bar and Hannah's gift of love: a water fountain.

Upon my initial viewing of Splash (1984), I really didn't know what to expect other than some silly old fantasy-romance film about Woody's voice actor falling in love with a non-redhead fish-lady. But to my delight, the film had quite a fair bit of well-timed comedy that was surprisingly good and not agonisingly painful to sit through (unlike the case with most torturous romantic-comedies I can think of). And speaking of things that are agonisingly painful to sit through, I thought the whole romantic angle with our two extremely-compelling leads was going to bore me to tears but it actually worked miraculously for me as Tom Hanks and Daryl Hannah both have some rather sweet and charming chemistry together when portraying their respective characters on-screen. Full disclosure; I'm usually not the kind of guy who normally goes for a typical romance film (not one with a real-world setting, at least) as the love connection between the main characters just never seems to be convincing enough for me to truly believe in it. But in the case of this genre incorporating some fictional type of fantasy element, then I'm willing to make an exception (what can I say? I'm just a sucker for a pretty mermaid, I guess).

The entire time watching this, I was quite taken aback by the design style and overall appearance they went with for the film's mermaid, with "Madison" having golden-blonde hair and an orangey-red fishtail (it somehow didn't feel right to me). It may just only be me and I might be completely alone on this opinion of mine but after first seeing The Little Mermaid (1989) at a very young age, I suppose I'm always going to think of a mermaid's contrasting colour-tone as more of a crimson-red hairdo and emerald-green tail-fins with nice shiny fish-scales (I'm probably too far gone to picture anything else, at this point in time). But after a brief adjustment period, I now think I'm content with her look and have even grown to like it (yep, I still thought she was kind of cute in her own unique way). Unsurprisingly, The Disney Company decided to release this under the label of their recently-established Touchstone distribution banner as its romantic plot-line dealt with the somewhat risqué subject matter of presenting the audience with a half-naked woman's bare-body in a magical context. As such, this meant it wasn't suitable for being family-friendly PG material and so with that it rightfully came to earn more of a 12A age-rating.

I thought leading lady Daryl Hannah was really great in the role, and that's the thing which shocked me most of all because I found everything else I've seen her in to be not that good; Clan or the Cave Bear (1986) was just OK even if a tad underwhelming, I haven't seen the Attack of the 50 Ft. Woman (1993) remake but I take it it's better than the original one, and I didn't even make it to the end of boring old Blade Runner (1982). In Splash, most of the comedy stems from her compelling naivety and I honestly found her little interactions with different things on land to be genuinely amusing (and F. Y. I.; being naive isn't the same as being stupid, as it simply means the character is smart but just doesn't know any better when thrown into uncertain situations that are unfamiliar to them). There's a myriad of comedic potential you could mine from a funny concept such as this (in a literal "fish-out-of-water" scenario), and it very much reminds me of how Ariel acted in The Little Mermaid (1989) when she was totally enamoured with our human culture and wanted to learn everything there is to know about the surface world above. I simply love characters like that, having their personalities constantly radiating with intrigue the whole time (it's the simple stuff like this that I really appreciate and ultimately look for in a right good movie).

I felt like director Ron Howard did a pretty good job with this film. To be honest, most of his filmography consists of movies that I have very mixed opinions on. However, I personally feel there's been more hits than misses when it comes to some of his more earlier works. I am aware of the fact that the film's story was followed up on with a perfectly passable made-for-TV sequel a few years later, titled Splash Too (1988). But I think it has the same fundamental issue the Grease 2 (1982) failure had where the studios have a really successful movie on their hands and they didn't know what to do with it, so they end up retreating a lot of the same ground as before by trying to recapture that same magic they had the first time around (only thing is, you can't catch lighting in a bottle twice). And suffice to say although it was a decent watch, it wasn't able to fully recreate what it was that made the first one's quality so endearingly special.

Splash is a really well-made Hollywood fantasy comedy, with early Tom Hanks already developing into the charismatic everyman and Darryl Hannah and John Candy at their best. But under the comedy and sweetness I have always thought there was a disturbing undertone of extreme pessimism--just what kind of ugly and cruel society do we live in, in which the mermaid Madison's only prospect is that she will be tortured, from which Hanks' character ultimately has to flee, never to see his beloved brother again? (The same dark undertone is even more pronounced, I think, in Ron Howard's next big hit Cocoon, where the old folks willingly escape an earth and families that don't seem to offer them anything anymore.)

I never saw "Splash" in the theatre, but I remember some of the media hype prior to the release of the film. And specifically I remember the much talked about production of another film staring Bo Derek and Warren Beatty. And therein lies a small fish tale.

I was working at a bookstore in a local mall prior to "Splash's" release. I was behind one of the cash registers when two men (one bald, or so I recalled, the other wearing a beret), standing above five feet, both wearing long black trench coats, and both speaking Italian (or possibly Greek), came into the store. They wanted books on mermaids, and said it was for Bo Derek's new film.

Being a shopping mall bookstore, and a small one at that, we didn't have a whole lot on mermaids. But I remember pointing them to the small mythology section, and hearing some rustling and mumbling in Italian. They came back, reminded us that it was for "Bo Derek's new film..." to which we (myself and one other employee) shrugged, and guided them to another section (children's fiction, I think). Dismayed they complained to us that there was nothing there, to which we told them that we must not have anything, and that they might want to check the library.

They left, and argued with one another out in front of the store. My coworker laughed, commenting "They know Bo Derek? Ya right!" I shrugged, and replied "You never know." Reflecting back on that episode I know understand that these were either the art directors or conceptual artists for the "other" mermaid film that was to be the basis for the mermaid-film-market that summer. Only Ron Howard was able to get his project off and completed before my two Italian patrons could get the green-light for their film.

I can't imagine what the other film would've been like. It probably would've been long, sappy, mildly amusing, and probably painted over with John Derek's supposedly "erotic" cinematography of his then wife.

Whatever.

I'm glad "Splash" came out, and was as funny as it was, and as big a hit as it was. Sometimes films don't need a market competitor, and deserve to monopolize the playing field. Not always, but sometimes they do. "Splash" could've fallen into the Mariana's trench of summer B-movies, but Howard and company had the right intuition to make the film smart, and not to put a nail in Davy Jones's locker by making "Madison" some mindless love interest.

I can imagine Bo's movie would've had her roaming naked on the screen for about a third of the film, and probably would've packed the theatres with older teenage boys and frat-rats. I guess there's a place for that sort of thing. Even so I'm glad "Splash" was the film that made the charts instead of that other one.

Clever man meets mermaid comedy with Hanks fitting the bill as a lonely New York bachelor who falls in love with winsome mermaid Hannah. Candy is also delightful as Hanks' irresponsible brother. The script is very funny and director Howard has a wonderful eye for the sentimental and satiric.