Das Kabinett der blutigen Hände

So many films have yet to be released that it's shocking what does trickle down from on high onto DVD. You'd think whoever owned this little souvenir of 70's syndication would want to start seeing some long overdue profits from it already. They must be working on a Director's cut. Right.

I haven't seen this TV movie for a very long time, but I remember it well. There was a song that played over the credits that was the eeriest thing about Picture Mommy Dead. It was a little nursery rhyme with the chilling refrain;

"The worms crawl in, the worms crawl out, in your stomach and out your mouth," or something appetizing like that. Is it coming back to you now?

If not, check the DVD when it does come out and see what an evening's TV entertainment used to look like in America in the late 1960's. The best thing about these movies is that because there were only a couple of options on the toob back then, everyone seems to have seen them. These were the days of the 75% share for a TV movie. "Friends" doesn't even come close in viewership. For better or worse that age has come to an end and made us less of a family.

PICTURE MOMMY DEAD had the potential to be more than a little potboiler. Photographed handsomely in Pathe color amid elaborate settings, its look is far beyond that of the average programmer.

But two things defeat it: an absurd plot and a dreadful performance by Susan Gordon in the central role as the traumatized victim of a horrible murder scene.

The adults are a little over-the-top in performing--especially Don Ameche, Martha Hyer (looking very glamorous), and Maxwell Reed. No doubt they knew the melodramatic material was so overly meller that it didn't matter much. Hyer at least is convincing as a greedy woman who has only one objective: to get her hands on as much estate money as possible after the death of the girl's wealthy mommy and especially a glittering diamond necklace.

Zsa Zsa Gabor flits about once in awhile when flashbacks permit the girl to remember a few events as they unfolded in the past. She's every bit the glamorous creature she always set out to be, and mercifully is not burdened by too much dialog.

Most surprising is that this wasn't photographed in low-budget style in B&W. Instead, the sharp color photography puts it on a higher level than the script would suggest.

The story lacks credibility as it goes along, becoming more and more improbable by the time it reaches a predictable conclusion.

Summing up: Watchable, but hurt by a central performance that is cringe worthy.

Glamorous and gowned Zsa Zsa Gabor (as Jessica Flagmore) burns to death as a giggling girl removes her jeweled necklace. Three years later, sullen director's daughter Susan Gordon (as Susan Shelley) is released from a religious sanitarium and convent. The teenage young woman still seems have some mental problems, due to the shock of seeing her mother burned to death. The nuns warn father Don Ameche (as Edward Shelley) and beautiful blonde step-mother Martha Hyer (as Francene) that Ms. Gordon needs tender loving care. Since the young woman inherited everything, her parents seem more interested in getting some money...

An appropriately melodramatic and cartooning delivery help make this a fun "drive-in"-type horror movie. It also found a re-run home on TV during a time when TV movies of this type enjoyed great popularity. Bert I. Gordon's "Picture Mommy Dead" probably inspired producers to put more stories like this on their "Movie of the Week" production schedules. Just enjoy the silliness, TV movie style and snazzy score by Robert Drasnin. "The worms crawl in, the worms crawl out, in your stomach and out your mouth," is a mysterious clue. It's set in majestic Greystone Mansion. As a bonus, you get to see Zsa Zsa Gabor go up in flames.

****** Picture Mommy Dead (11/2/66) Bert I. Gordon ~ Susan Gordon, Martha Hyer, Don Ameche, Zsa Zsa Gabor

This is one of those movies I saw as a young kid back in the late 60's that always stuck with me, so creepy when I was little and now that I am older it is just plain campy!!!! Susan Gordon overacts playing the demented daughter of Don Ameche and Zsa Zsa Gabor. Seems Susan comes out of a convent or was it a mental institution? Anyway, she's got major issues since her Mom burned to death in the family mansion. Now Daddy Warbucks has married her former nanny, sleazily played to the hilt by Martha Hyer. The nanny wants all of Daddy's money and is willing to do anything and anyone in order to get it. I love the scene where the toys are coming alive, pretty creepy stuff when you are 8 years old and not too bad now that I'm 43. Lot's of fun to watch and the ending comes as somewhat of a surprise. Enjoy.

During the early 1970's, channel 05 (KTLA-TV) showed the same movie during an entire week. This film was one of them.

I always enjoy this un-horror film. It was enjoyable seeing the extravagant life-style of a privileged, but not-so-wealthy dysfunctional family.

The late Don Ameche and the not-so-late Zsa Zsa Gabor were a delight. I highly recommend this film for those over 30 years of age.