The Brits are coming - Diamanten-Coup in Hollywood

There's a great script here struggling to get out. Alas, it fails to even open the door.

Writer/director! When will producers learn!? I'm guessing Never so we continue to be plagued by these half-a**ed screenplays that desperately need a 2nd or 3rd eye to curb the writer's sense of brilliance! (That's irony for our American friends.)

Let's start with the title. It's not a movie about a con. Jesus! C'mon guys, at least get the terminology right. It's more a sort of comedy caper/heist movie, but it's not even that.

The worst character by far is Tim Roth's Peter. No doubt Roth enjoyed playing him although it would be as challenging as waking up in the morning. He's so lacking in couth it's absolutely impossible to imagine he could ever have gotten involved with Alice Eve or Uma Thurman, zany and cracked though their characters may be.

Maggie Q must have had a similar challenge with her character.

Highlight of the movie is Stephen Fry playing, well, Stephen Fry's "Dear boy" character, but he does it so naturally and so well. Although not a major character he does help redeem it from the pit.

It's not totally unwatchable. Well, if you're looking for a good plot or well-defined characters or well, anything, then it is...

Okay, it has good production values and a stellar cast but they're simply wasted, wasted, wasted.

I didn't think it was quite as bad as other reviews suggest which I find hard to believe! But it is extremely disappointing.

This is a strange and disappointing film.

I think this was supposed to be a crime caper but it fails miserably.

Considering the strong acting pedigree of the cast I was surprised that the characters were so one-dimensional. This did nothing for the story or production whatsoever. A character did 'x' - and mostly only 'x'. That was it.

This film isn't worth wasting your time on, and considering it has taken three years to be released perhaps it should have stayed in some archive never to have seen the light of day.

I don't understand how and why previously successful actors become involved with toilet humour projects like this. The Mexican housekeeper is funny though; hence the 3 stars.

I can't believe I paid to watch this on sky, managed 20 minutes before turning off. Uma and Tim, what were you thinking.

I can't figure out what the purpose of this movie was or what it was trying to do. I don't know if it was attempting to display overacting on purpose as a parody of itself or if they were actually trying to be serious. Whatever it was it failed miserably. The result was an awkward movie that I had a hard time watching. It was caught in between something and something else. Very strange that they would even release this the way it turned out. They should have saved themselves some embarrassment and just shoved this one into the archives. It was absolutely terrible on all fronts. Not one good thing I can even think to say about this movie (well maybe that every scene didn't have them smoking fake cigarettes like a lot of others are doing these days) and I'm being generous. This is Hollywood at it's worst but hey, they've been doing a lot of this kind of garbage lately so this is nothing new. This is one of those flicks that almost makes me want to stop wasting my time watching movies. Luckily there are still some decent ones around but this is not one of them. Now I need to go find some deodorizer to get rid of the stink that is still in my nose. What is that smell anyway?