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Master Sergeant Bilko, regularly helped by the soldiers at Fort Baxter's motor pool, spends little time performing his duties by constantly trying to obtain money through various get-rich-quick scams and promotions.

Sgt Bilko is sent to Chicago to bring back one of his AWOL privates who has gone home to take care of urgent family business. Bilko becomes embroiled in a feud between two Hungarian families and needs all his guile and personal skills to save the situation

A new drill sergeant arrives at the base. Bilko sees a new mark to skim money from. However the sergeant soon displays he intends to be in charge and will be fleecing every cent he can from Bilko.

Bilko is excited when he is invited to spend a furlough in New York with an old friend who's become a millionaire. When he arrives he discovers the situation is a lot different than he expected.

Bilko is in trouble with his girlfriend. She becomes frustrated at Bilkos love of a card game over her. As usual Bilko has a scheme to fix things.

During a heat wave, Bilko schemes to be sent to cooler climes. When his request to visit a sick aunt in upstate Wisconsin is denied - an officer found the "deathly ill" lady water skiing - things are looking bleak until the sergeant learns of a new Army recreational facility in the Rockies for soldiers suffering from mental stress. Now Bilko must convince his officers and the Army medical corps that the entire camp is in need of restorative rest and recreation.

Col Hall decides he's had enough of Sgt Bilko's antics. He arranges to have him transfered to another post. His initial enthusiasm for the move fades quickly as Bilko's replacement makes Hall's life hell.

After Sgt. Bilko and casual girlfriend Sgt. Hogan attend a wedding, Sgt. Bilko becomes concerned that Hogan might see more in their relationship than Bilko desires.

The platoon's preparations for the Mardi Gras progress with Private Doberman being declared King. He selects local socialite Joy Landers to be his queen. She rejects the offer and her derision of the soldiers infuriates Bilko to the point he cooks up a plan to publicly humiliate the woman in front of her peers

Bilko is concerned his latest money making scheme, platoon sweetheart, has fallen flat with only one entry. One of them brings forth a photo of his girlfriend, and Bilko sees a future Miss America.

Bilko needs a new bankroll for tomorrow night's poker game, so he looks to his new recruits for quick cash.

Bilko thinks he can make a small fortune if he can open a new bar and grill but, as usual, he's strapped for cash. When he learns that one of his new recruits is heir to a fortune, he tries to convince the young man to invest in his latest money-making scheme.

Bilko gets word that uranium has been discovered on farms adjoining Fort Baxter. He develops a scheme to find uranium on the base and find a way to use the information to his own advantage.

As the company boxing match draws near, Bilko tries to turn the lack of a competitive boxer in his platoon into an advantage. Unfortunately for Sgt Bilko others are scheming to also gain advantage from the situation.

Doberman receives $500.00 but loses it at poker when he meets three strangers from his hometown in a café.

Colonel Hall is attempting to set a new Army record for inducting new recruits. Unfortunately he also inducts a chimpanzee then has to convene a court martial to discharge Private Harry Speakup.

Company B constantly loses all bets against rival Company A, but upon the arrival of Ed 'The Stomach' Honnegan, they sense their chance to win an Eating Contest. The only problem they encounter is that The Stomach has lost his appetite.

Sgt Bilko is still reeling from his losses at poker. He hears a member from his training squad was similarly fleeced by the base card sharks. Bilko cooks a scheme to win back all their losses by taking advantage of peoples natural curiosity when he rents an empty store in a nearby town

Bilko is convinced that Colonel Hall is trying to get him kicked out of the army When he learns that he's been scheduled for a physical immediately after Hall granted his request to sit out a 20-mile training hike.

Sgt Bilko realizes a singing competition could be the platoon's way to warmth when their furnace breaks down in the middle of winter. If they make the finals they get a free trip to Miami. Although it goes against his instincts he decides to take advantage of a betting opportunity that requires him to bet the entire platoon's money against themselves. As simple as the scheme looks, not everything ends as expected

Bilko agrees to be the best man at the wedding of one of his men; but the wedding is on hold since the sergeant has been ordered to lead a platoon of recruits in a war game pitting the Army against the National Guard.

Bilko's plan to volunteer for a special duty that would provide him with his own personal jeep is in jeopardy, when a new sergeant also volunteers. Bilko then schemes to take the other sergeant down, but he may have met his match.

Bilko uses the platoon fund to buy ailing racehorse, 'Bell Boy.' Smuggling the horse into Fort Baxter, Bilko dreams of making a fortune at the races when the horse is well.

Bilko comes under pressure when the other sergeants complain about his activity on the base. Hall carpets Bilko and the resulting fall out sees Bilko crowned as the oldest private in the army.

Sgt. Bilko must come up with a new ailment to avoid annual maneuvers, and this year it's Wilkinson's Disease. However, Colonel Hall has a trick up his sleeve that may break Bilko's perfect non-attendance record.