Elena Salvatore's Reviews > Boys That Bite

This book is so bad!
Not only is it full of Vampire clichés, it's also really terrible written.


Ok, ok... let me calm down a bit....
First let me start off with saying that I had this book on my shelf for forever.
I knew that it would be bad and full of clichés, but I still picked it up because my challange for this month was to read a book that has been forever on my shelves, so here I am. Reading it. Finishing it. Writting a review for it.

Sunny and her twin Rayne could be no more different even if they didn't look alike.
(You see, their mother somehow knew what kind of personalities her daughters would have and named them accordingly.)
While Sunny is your normal teenage student that has a crush on the most popular guy in school, (even tho she is sure that he doesn't know she excist), Rayn on the other hand isn't.
She is more of your typical goth girl who owns only black clothes and is into dark stuff like Vampires. So much she even wants to become on of them and actually manages to close a deal with them to make her one.
Only when she and her sister go out in a club, the said Vampire mistakes them and bites Sunny instead of Rayne.
Even tho Sunny doesn't belive them at the beginning, she starts to panic and wants a way out of this. She doesn't want to become a Vampire, so she and the Vampire Magnus, are on the hunt for the antidote that will make her human again.

The Vampire-Romance clichés didn't bother me as much as the narrator did.
Sunny is the most annoying narrator I've ever read from!
It's written in first POV and it drove me crazy.
It is so full of 00's pop culture that it actually pained me to read this book even tho it was short and fast paced. We literally didn't get any single sentence that didn't was accompanied by some pop culture refrence.

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Actual Quotes from the Book:
•I gasp as my eyes become accustomed to the dim light and I see what we've walked into. It's like a mansion. An un-derground mansion. With cathedral ceilings, floors made of marble, and the most elegant furnishings I've ever seen. I can see why they need Fort Knox-like security down here. It's a tomb raider's dream come true. Lara Croft would have a field day.

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•At the end of the hall, we enter a lobby where a thin, blond woman sits behind a desk, filing her nails and looking bored. She looks like someone I know, but I can't seem to place her.

"Hi, Marcia," Magnus says, addressing her politely.

That's it! She looks like Marcia Brady from the The Brady Bunch. Heh.

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• Lucifent's office turns out to be as deluxe as the rest of the underground coven. The only thing missing is windows. I'd hate the no-windows thing, were I to become a permanent vamp. Though the Picassos on the wall might make up for their absence somewhat. The floors are made of gleaming hardwood and a giant mahogany desk lies in the center of the room.

Behind the desk sits Haley Joel Osment, the little kid from that creepy Sixth Sense movie.

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• Suddenly, milliseconds before he can spit out the knowl-edge that will save me from eternal damnation, warning sirens start going off. They sound like something you'd hear on a Star Trek episode, moments before the Enterprise self-destructs. Or after Homer Simpson does something stupid yet again at the Springfield nuclear power plant.

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• She's dressed in black leather, but don't get the mistaken impression that she's at all attractive and sexy in it. Let's just say Bertha the Vampire Slayer has evidently been hitting the drive-through a few too many times on her dinner break. And leather sure isn't very forgiving when it comes to super sizing your French fries. Especially tight, low-rise leather pants that allow her stomach fat to ooze out her front. Add a greasy zit-face and the stringy blond hair and you'll get a good mental picture of what this "Slayer" looks like.

I think I prefer Sarah Michelle Gellar.

"Lucifent," she snarls, raising her wooden stake. Wow, she's got braces too. I can't believe the mortal enemy of all vampires goes to an orthodontist. "Prepare to die."
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And so many more. The book is full of them.
So yeah, it's safe to say that I won't be continuing on with this series even tho I would have if the narriation didn't make me want to rip my hair out.

If you want to give it a shot, be my guest but don't say that I didn't warn you.