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Justin Tate's Reviews > The Let Them Theory: A Life-Changing Tool That Millions of People Can't Stop Talking About

The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
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it was amazing

Plenty of flaws, but everyone who reads it will likely gain significant wisdom. For that, you gotta give it five stars.

The core bit of advice involves the mantra "let them" whenever you encounter a situation you want to control but can't. Let cashiers be slow at the check-out counter. Let your family have crazy political beliefs. Rather than dwell and fester, move on. Queen Elsa sang about this back in 2013 and if you want to save yourself $20 bucks, maybe give that song a listen and take it to heart.

The book adds a major second layer of self-help guidance, however. After you "let them" do whatever annoying thing it is that they do, Mel encourages you to think "let me."

The "let me" part of the "let them" theory is where things get interesting. It's what differentiates going completely numb to the world to being an empowered player in life.

Tired of people with stupid political beliefs? Let them have them. But then Let Me decide what to do. This could mean ignore them, disassociate from them, join a protest movement, or even run for office. When you free yourself of the need to control other people, you empower yourself to control your own destiny.

We'll never stop encountering situations we don't like. Let Them happen. Life isn't fair. But "Let Me" decide how to adapt to the situation.

The book steers itself into unexpected and sometimes seemingly less relevant side topics, including a lengthy discussion on marriage and relationships, but generally it all comes back to this premise. The theory is easy to understand, easy to apply to life, and will almost certainly result in a net positive if utilized.

Where the book gets tedious is in its habit to beat a dead horse. Mel repeats herself six different ways when getting a point across. Is it annoying? Yes. But Let Her do her thing. And Let Me decide if I'm going to keep reading or skip ahead a few pages.

For me, the repetition wasn't so bad that I didn't keep chugging along. This was helped, I think, by her tour de force audiobook performance. I don't listen to Mel's podcast, but she has a unique gift for sounding genuine and coming across as your personal best friend, even if her audience is in the millions.

Flaws aside, this felt like a book of cultural significance that can and should make waves. Highly recommended, especially on audio.
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Reading Progress

February 3, 2025 – Started Reading
February 3, 2025 – Shelved
February 14, 2025 – Finished Reading

Comments Showing 1-13 of 13 (13 new)

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Emma.catherine Great review! I am keen to read this


Heidi (can’t retire soon enough) Excellent review!! 😎


message 3: by Isabella (new) - added it

Isabella Brilliant review. Makes the book sound interesting. I have always thought this about parenting adults. Let them make their own decisions and then be there whatever the outcome. Not a book I would have found so thank you for pointing me in the direction.


Justin Tate Thanks Isabella! Yeah, there aren’t really any chapters on parenting at all. You might like it!


message 5: by Jameson (new)

Jameson Let this book exist; let me not read it! We’re reaching a point where it seems almost everyone has crazy political beliefs. Anyway, if someone complains about someone else’s crazy political beliefs, they’re probably nuts, too, just in the other direction.


Justin Tate Lol! Jameson, sounds like you fully understand the theory without needing to read about it! It is pretty intuitive, and I imagine most people with solid mental health already utilize much of the concepts. I do want to clarify that this isn’t a political book, I just use that as one common example where it can be applied.


message 7: by J.J. (new)

J.J. Xavier Or listen to Let It Be by The Beatles


Justin Tate “Let it Be” is another excellent choice, J.J.! ❤️


message 9: by Auntie Nikki (new) - added it

Auntie Nikki Have this book on my read list and the reviews are scathing, I find your review rather balanced… I’m a regular listener to Mel’s podcast, actually watched this episode and while I think calling this belief a theory is a bit of a stretch, I think it’s useful advice…I’ll still be reading despite the horrible reviews


message 10: by Justin (new) - rated it 5 stars

Justin Tate Hi Nikki! Looks like right now it has a solid 4.12 out of 132,000 ratings. I’d say that’s pretty good. Looks like most of the naysayers don’t feel a simple concept needs to be a 400-page book. That’s fair, but you can always stop reading once you feel you “get it” ya know? Let them bash it, and let you enjoy it!


message 11: by Josh (new)

Josh Liller "Tired of people with stupid political beliefs? Let them have them. But then Let Me decide what to do. This could mean ignore them, disassociate from them, join a protest movement, or even run for office."

If there's any lesson we need to learn from the last decade it's this is exactly what we cannot do.


Justin Tate Hey Josh, thank you for the comment. I’m happy to Let You have your say and Let Me move on with my life and focus on more important things.


message 13: by Rachel (new)

Rachel Feeck Love a one-line takeaway. I don't dislike advice books, but I often wish they were more efficient.


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