gloria .☆ﾟ.'s Reviews > After I Do

➥ 1 Star *:･ﾟ✧

"I'm going to learn to love him again, I'm going to learn how to be a better wife to him, how to give him what he needs." 😀

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Everyone, please lay your eyes on the worst book I've read all year. Okay, second worst, nothing can quite top the atrocity that is November 9, but I digress. Both during and after reading this book, I felt the need to grab TJR by the shoulders and shake her in attempt to exorcise the misogyny out of her body and scream at her desperately for two main reasons. One; as an author with a large fanbase, you take on a certain level of responsibility for what message your work communicates to the reader - the message that this book ultimately puts across is incredibly harmful. Two; why the fuck has she written another latinx main character (Carrie Soto Is Back) after many have vigorously complained about the harmfulness of the latinx main character in The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo - she should be ashamed of herself.

In summary, a woman and a man are in a relationship that "isn't working". The man is ultimately a misognist that I truly despise. They decide to take a break, the man decides that it should be one where they sleep with other people, and the girl struggles at first but ultimately excels without him. She does well without him, she's happy, she's independent, and finds support elsewhere. However, her family and surrounding encourage her to "not give up" on marriage, her family and friends express their adoration for the man, and they almost care more about him than her. So, they get back together. That's it. The fmc's brother is someone that the fmc openly loves and accepts, no matter how misogynistic and wrong his doings are, basically just rephrasing the "boys will be boys". He impregnates a woman, marries her (he doesn't love her yet), and then declares that he fell in love with her only once she gave birth to his son. The themes of women having to serve their function of being baby machines were so unsettling and when the fmc missed the man, it was only really missing what he provided (safety, comfort etc.), something she could have easily gotten elsewhere, had she been in any other serious relationship after highschool. Just so disappointing, it's considered "giving up" when a woman leaves a lowkey emotionally abusive relationship, and she is literally advised "don't leave him even though he's boring and doesn't pick up his socks" - as if weaponised incompetence and genuine unenjoyment of his character is not reason enough to not be in a relationship. Truly disappointing and unpleasant to read.

I could go on and on about red flags in their relationship, about specifics, but it's so tiring to read books infused with misogyny. Many people hold TJR in high regard but this book displays such blatant internalised misogyny that she should be embarrassed. I can't fathom how this book passed through editors without a second thought. I sincerely hope that no one views leaving a relationship that isn't working as "giving up" and "failing at marriage". I hope no one feels forced to have children. I hope no one reads this book and applies its terribly constructed message. Lauren will suffer forever, and Rachel, the only character who was not tortured by relationship drama, doesn't want kids or a partner that much, is even giving an implied romantic ending (it's giving Jo from Little Women, smh). I'd die before I recommended this to anyone. If you want to see more specifics, just look through my past updates on this book and their quote evidence etc., it's ass. This man literally proclaims that he'd have treated her with more respect, kindness and patience if she'd had sex with him more. Stfu. Oh, and the dude she tells her friend that he should go back to his wife that CHEATED ON HIM because "people make mistakes". What in the fuck, I'm certain this book is a social experiment or some shit.

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