Sardonic Humor Quotes

“Good Samaritans: Truth, justice and the American way–for them it wasn't only a comic book code; it was a way of life. it was admirable, courageous, and inconvenient as shit. -Stefan, CHIMERA”
― Rob Thurman, Chimera

“We'll get into the plane and you'll have a cup of coffee, even a sip of brandy is permissible. And you'll think. Think hard. So hard I can hear your brains creaking. And it will be very good if by the time we reach Edinburgh you already know how to get the Crown of All Things. Because we don't have any time to spare. Only twelve hours until the bomb goes off."
"You bastard," I said.
"No, I'm a highly effective personnel manager," Edgar said, with a smile.”
― Sergei Lukyanenko, The Last Watch

“The Victorian happy ending– a vision of a huge loving family of three or four generations, all crammed together in the same house and constantly multiplying, like a bed of oysters.”
― George Orwell, Essays

“I told one of the writers that our fields were so nearly vertical that we planted our corn with a shotgun and had to breed a race of mules with legs shorter on one side than the other for plowing. And when he asked how we transported the corn down off the mountain, I said, in a jug. He appeared to believe me, so I was encouraged to go on and tell him that every church in that corner of the state, except our Indian congregation, either conducted services speaking entirely in tongues or else took up serpents as recommended by Jesus. Both the writer and I had taken a few rounds of Scotch at the time. The story appeared as fact in a well-known national periodical, along with the obligatory descriptions of the beauty and ruggedness and unmatched remoteness and mystery of our mountains.”
― Charles Frazier , Thirteen Moons

“Flirting with love can do that."

Vega wasn't ready to admit to such a problematic emotion.”
― Dorothy McFalls

“Antonio stepped into Pax's path and said, in English, "Go back to Lazarus and tell him we'll settle whatever claim he has on Sara. She is Baldoni. Ours. Run tell him that, figlio di puttana."

"He's not from Lazarus," she snapped.

"All the better," Antonio said. "Nothing to stop me from cutting his bollocks off."

"You will leave his bollocks precisely as they are."

"I am your closest male relation - "

"You are my closest male idiot. No-one removes any man's balls on my behalf. I will do whatever castrating is necessary among my acquaintance."

"Children," Uncle Bernadro said midly, "he speaks Italian.”
― Joanna Bourne, Rogue Spy

“My wife was rather surprised when it was the platter that shattered, not my face.”
- Zevryn the Everborn”
― Edwin McRae

“If you Iive long enough, if you don’t fall in love too easily, and if you keep your hatred pure– wonderful things can happen.”
― Christopher Hitchens

“Bowen looked nervously about for peasants. It would be unendurable if they all turned out to be full of instinctive wisdom and natural good manners and unself-conscious grace and a deep, articulate understanding of death.”
― Kingsley Amis, I Like It Here

“One doesnt write about anything. One just writes.”
― Philip Henderson