Dark Humor Quotes

“Americans are very protective of their children, maybe because it's the only country in the world with the cultural practice of school shootings.”
― Yasmin Zaher, The Coin

“Sons of suicide often think of killing themselves at the end of the day, when their blood sugar is low.”
― Kurt Vonnegut Jr., God Bless You, Mr. Rosewater

“Not everyone can have that thing, freedom, and not be ruined by it.”
― Iris Murdoch, The Italian Girl

“The Romans sweetened their wine with lead, called it the sugar of Saturn. They sipped themselves into decay. Their senate grew flaccid and the aqueducts whispered madness.”
― Ako Bégaard

“Some students looked sad. Some looked bored. I probably looked deranged as I waited for the marching band to bust through the doors, yelling, “Surprise!” as they banged on their stupid drums. “Hadley’s not really dead! But you know who’s gonna be dead this Friday when we kill them in football? The Mountain View Mustangs!” Then, they’d step out of the way to reveal a living Hadley, and we’d all shoot streamers into the air and chant the fight song.”
― Cassidy Bryant, Letters from Hadley

“It’s funny how the world keeps spinning even when you’re about to die”
― Luna K. Wicked, SummerTime Madness

“He's in the front seat, all broad shoulders and tense jawline, speaking into the mic attached to his ear. His voice is steady, deep, maddeningly unhurried. I don't want to be obvious about eavesdropping, but certain phrases stick out.
"No cops."
"Take them to the warehouse."
I freeze. That is, without a doubt, the most crime-syndicate-y thing I've ever heard in my life.”
― Katt Andrews, Guard Dog

“Foolish Boogie by Stewart Stafford

Court jester in cowboy boots,
Meditates on a Formica counter,
An over-caffeinated ventriloquist,
A kitchenette thrown-voice encounter.

Diary check on a chaise lounge,
Booked-up until the end of time,
Not even a day off to perish slowly,
The meek are bequeathed a dime.

A giant with shrunken hubris,
Colossus with an Achilles heel,
Sore points prodded with sticks,
Karmic kamikaze at the wheel.

© 2025, Stewart Stafford. All rights reserved.”
― Stewart Stafford

“The Last Wizard taps into the conventions of the fantasy genre in a clever and refreshing way... In this mystical world full of monsters, magic and the familiar menu of fantasy creatures, The Last Wizard delivers humor, friendship and the wry viewpoint of an author who is lovingly steeped in the genre.”
― BlueInk Review

“Joy was defiance in a world that kept breaking us.”
― Brandon Cloud, Small Town Gayby: Where The Scar Remains

“Forgiveness wasn’t for them. It was a prison break.”
― Brandon Cloud

“I loved him in letters I couldn’t send.”
― Brandon Cloud, Don't Ask, Don't Die.

“I folded flags and my identity.”
― Brandon Cloud, Don't Ask, Don't Die.

“They let me die for my country. Just not live for who I was.”
― Brandon Cloud

“In uniform, I was invisible and valuable. Out of it, I was just a faggot with a file.”
― Brandon Cloud, Don't Ask, Don't Die.

“My queerness wasn’t the problem. Their fear was.”
― Brandon Cloud, Small Town Gayby: A Fictional Memoir of Conversion, Cancer, and Coming Out Loud

“Every apology I never received became part of my spine.”
― Brandon Cloud, Small Town Gayby: A Fictional Memoir of Conversion, Cancer, and Coming Out Loud

“You don’t forget the ones who die on your watch. You carry them in your scrubs.”
― Brandon Cloud, Sunset on Cloud Nine

“Love, like spice, was best added slowly—too much too fast ruined the dish.”
― Brandon Cloud, Sute & Solitude

“Their version of patriotism never included people like me.”
― Brandon Cloud, Don't Ask, Don't Die.

“Closets don’t just hide people. They train them.”
― Brandon Cloud, The Closet Strategist

“I used to count calories. Now I count triggers.”
― Brandon Cloud, Small Town Gayby: Where The Scar Remains

“Some call it burnout. I called it drowning with a smile.”
― Brandon Cloud, Sunset on Cloud Nine

“queer quotes, lgbtq+ literature, emotional writing, raw storytelling, memoir moments, sapphic romance, trauma healing, dark humor, resilience, authentic voice”
― Brandon Cloud, A Queer Kind of Hallelujah

“Faith didn’t fail me. People using it did.”
― Brandon Cloud, A Queer Kind of Hallelujah

“I stopped praying for healing and started building it.”
― Brandon Cloud, A Queer Kind of Hallelujah

“They exorcised my sparkle. I glittered anyway.”
― Brandon Cloud, A Queer Kind of Hallelujah

“Conversion therapy didn’t cure me. It confirmed me.”
― Brandon Cloud, Small Town Gayby: A Fictional Memoir of Conversion, Cancer, and Coming Out Loud

“I passed as straight until I passed out.”
― Brandon Cloud, Small Town Gayby: A Fictional Memoir of Conversion, Cancer, and Coming Out Loud

“In her kitchen, I found my cravings weren’t culinary.”
― Brandon Cloud, Flour & Fury: A Sweet Rivalry