Crucial Conversations Quotes

“The greatest fallacy with communication, is the belief that it has actually occurred.”
― George Bernard Shaw

“Borrowing strength builds weakness. It builds weakness in the borrower because it reinforces dependence on external factors to get things done. It builds weakness in the person forced to acquiesce, stunting the development of independent reasoning, growth, and internal discipline. And finally, it builds weakness in the relationship. Fear replaces cooperation, and both people involved become more arbitrary and defensive.”
― Stephen R. Covey

“When I was 10 there was a rocket scientist that lived near me. His son was severely handicapped, but his mind was genius. He was older than me. We’d hang.

One time he told me this. I remembered it all these years. He taught me:

When there are two conflicting statements (truths), there is an opportunity for learning.

This has helped me through the years from passing judgment to quickly or coming to a conclusion instead of dismissing things all together.”
― Richie Norton

“When it's safe, you can say anything. Here's why gifted communicators keep a close eye on safety. Dialogue calls for the free flow of meaning - period. And nothing kills the flow of meaning like fear.”
― Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, Al Switzler

“The second crucial thing I learned, especially from the authors of Crucial Conversations, is that every conversation takes place on two levels: the official conversation and the actual conversation. The official conversation is represented by the words we say about whatever topic we are nominally discussing: politics, economics, workplace issues—whatever. The actual conversation occurs in the ebb and flow of underlying emotions that get transmitted as we talk. With every comment you are either making me feel a little more safe or a little more threatened. With every comment I am showing you either respect or disrespect. With every comment we are each revealing something about our intentions: Here is why I am telling you this. Here is why this is important to me. It is the volley of these underlying emotions that will determine the success or failure of the conversation.”
― David Brooks, How to Know a Person: The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen

“These moments are truly crucial, and a little bit of change can lead to an enormous amount of progress.”
― Joseph Grenny, Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High, Library Edition