Car Quotes

“Self-driving cars are so lonely. Are you really going to use all that extra commute time to binge-watch Netflix? Why not hire me to sit next to you and whistle all your favorite tunes?”
― Jarod Kintz, There are Two Typos of People in This World: Those Who Can Edit and Those Who Can't

“Descent fatigue occurs in high altitude workers at the end of their workday. They get in the car and drive from the mountain peak to sea level. By the time they arrive at sea level they are experiencing fatigue. It generally subsides after several hours at sea level or by sleeping.”
― Steven Magee, Magee’s Disease

“I wish my car's radio volume dial also operated my air conditioner, so the louder I crank up a hot song, the cooler it would be. Oh, and more music needs to be made about ducks, because that would be even cooler.”
― Jarod Kintz, Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.

“Most lawyers are in the job for the money.”
― Steven Magee

“If Death - who was out there all the time, possibly sitting on the hood - if Death stepped miraculously through the glass and came in after you, in all probability you just got up and went along with him, ferociously but quietly. Chances were, you could take your cigar with you, if it was a clear Havana.”
― J.D. Salinger, Raise High the Roof Beam, Carpenters & Seymour: An Introduction

“She would do anything to obtain her own car. She would prostitute herself or rob or kill if it meant she could have her own car.”
― Susan Choi, Trust Exercise

“Walk, before you learn how to ride a bicycle ”
― Charmaine J. Forde

“I regard Tesla Autopilot as the new Ford Pinto.”
― Steven Magee

“Acclimatization to high altitudes used to occur naturally until the adoption of the car and airplanes.”
― Steven Magee

“I am a professional crash test dummy!”
― Steven Magee

“I was fortunate when my car needed to be replaced that automatic collision avoidance cars had become affordable.”
― Steven Magee, Hypoxia, Mental Illness & Chronic Fatigue

“Imagine that every time you want to leave the house you have to get into a bar fight with someone. A sloppy, exhausted, poorly choreographed display of slapping and kicking. You are in a bar fight because they don't want to be strapped, Hannibal Lecter style, into the back of your car. Fair. Even thought you are technically big enough to always win the fight, you still have to buckle a small but shockingly heavy person at a 45 degree angle - possibly in the burning sun or freezing cold or driving rain - into a chair. All the while vaguely recalling the warning that if the buckles are not in the exact right place then the whole point of putting them in the seat is moot and you've ruined everything. If the straps are not tight enough, or if they are too tight, you might as well just throw your kid on the roof of the car untethered to anything and drive off at a million miles per hour because it's all basically the same effect.”
― Jessi Klein, I'll Show Myself Out: Essays on Midlife and Motherhood

“I would not buy a second hand car in Florida due to the high risk of flood damage.”
― Steven Magee

“How do you routinely drive an electric car when the electrical grid in your area has to be rebuilt?”
― Steven Magee

“Electric car fires are very difficult to extinguish.”
― Steven Magee

“You don't fail in life because you don't have a good job,
because you don't have the car or house of your dreams,
because you can't buy that outfit, that shoe
or for not doing that aesthetic procedure.
You fail in life only if you consider
that not to achieve these things is to fail in life.”
― Augusto Branco

“As much as I dislike the fossil fuel industry, I do like driving my car!”
― Steven Magee

“My first memories of police corruption were of numerous police stops being made on my car over a relatively short period of time. It turned out that it was the same police officer each time and he was dating my ex!”
― Steven Magee

“Since the advent of bright LED streetlights and car headlights, I avoid driving after dark.”
― Steven Magee

“Dreaming is the fuel in the car of dedication!”
― Todd Stocker

“It is important to realize in the USA that ‘reaching for an object’ in your car may get you legally killed by the police.”
― Steven Magee

“I always think a new car is better for someone who does not want to deal with unreliability issues and its associated costs.”
― Steven Magee

“Is it better to buy a new or a three year old car? Cars typically become unreliable after a decade of use. You are only seven years away from that point at three years old.”
― Steven Magee

“There is nothing worse than wondering when your car is going to break down next and how much the repair will cost!”
― Steven Magee

“I did a 2 hour drive in a rental car to buy my new car from a larger city where it was significantly cheaper. After a house, the car is generally the next biggest purchase. The drive can save you thousands!”
― Steven Magee

“It's like suggesting we put seat belts on all the chairs in a library - both safe, just in very different ways!”
― Dipti Dhakul

“If I didn't have anywhere more pressing to be, I would have offered her my number and the use of my backseat. Chances were good that she would have accepted at least one.”
― Thomm Quackenbush, The Road to Vent Haven

“Even more painful than giving birth to a baby. Burned alive. Hit by a car.”
― Dina Husseini

“The surge in road traffic fatalities in India is not just a statistical anomaly but a reflection of the intricate interplay of factors contributing to the nation’s road safety challenges. Urban planning that prioritizes pedestrian safety, well-designed roads, and efficient traffic management systems are essential components of the solution. Equally critical is the need for robust law enforcement to ensure compliance with traffic regulations, deterring reckless driving and holding violators accountable.”
― Shivanshu K. Srivastava

“If we crash and burn, there’s a good chance that we were driving a car that we shouldn’t have been in, on a road that we shouldn’t have been on.”
― Craig D. Lounsbrough