Narcissistic Abuse Quotes

“Realize that narcissists have an addiction disorder. They are strongly addicted to feeling significant. Like any addict they will do whatever it takes to get this feeling often. That is why they are manipulative and future fakers. They promise change, but can't deliver if it interferes with their addiction. That is why they secure back up supply.”
― Shannon L. Alder

“No child can be good enough to evoke love from a highly self-involved parent. Nevertheless, these children come to believe that the price of making a connection is to put other people first and treat them as more important. They think they can keep relationships by being the giver. Children who try to be good enough to win their parents’ love have no way of knowing that unconditional love cannot be bought with conditional behavior.”
― Lindsay C. Gibson, Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents

“In the narcissist's world being accepted or cared for (not to mention loved) is a foreign language. It is meaningless or even repellent. One might recite the most delicate haiku in Japanese and it would still remain utterly meaningless to a non-speaker of Japanese. This does not diminish the value of the haiku or of the Japanese language, needless to say. But it means nothing to the non-speaker.

Narcissists damage and hurt but they do so offhandedly and naturally, as an afterthought…

They are aware of what they are doing to others - but they do not care.”
― Sam Vaknin, Malignant Self-Love: Narcissism Revisited

“But both the narcissist and his partner do not really consider each other. Trapped in the moves of an all-consuming dance macabre, they follow the motions morbidly - semiconscious, desensitized, exhausted, and concerned only with survival.”
― Sam Vaknin, Malignant Self-Love: Narcissism Revisited

“But that’s the thing about narcissists. They can try to fool you, with all their heart, but in the end, they’re just fooling themselves.”
― Ellie Fox, And then the Devil Cried: Episode Two

“Emotional abuse is designed to undermine another's sense of self.
It is deliberate humiliation, with the intent to seize control of how others feel about themselves.”
― Lorraine Nilon, Breaking Free From the Chains of Silence: A respectful exploration into the ramifications of Paedophilic abuse

“those who get upset for being treated the way that they treat others, will never understand why others treat them the way that they treat others.”
― David J Martinez

“Emotional abuse can leave a victim feeling like a shell of a person, separated from the true essence of who they naturally are. It also leads to a victim feeling tormented and tortured by their own emotions.”
― Lorraine Nilon, Breaking Free From the Chains of Silence: A respectful exploration into the ramifications of Paedophilic abuse

“Narcissists are very retaliative if they believe another has achieved what they desire,
exposed their insecurities, or refused to be under their control.”
― Lorraine Nilon, Breaking Free From the Chains of Silence: A respectful exploration into the ramifications of Paedophilic abuse

“Healing is like an onion. As you process through one layer of trauma to release the pain and heal, a new layer will surface. One layer after another layer will bring up new issues to focus on. Pace yourself. Only focus on one layer at a time.”
― Dana Arcuri, Soul Cry: Releasing & Healing the Wounds of Trauma

“No one wants to depend on people who brag about their help. It is hurtful.”
― Mitta Xinindlu

“Stop trying to get validation from people who can't or won't acknowledge your feelings. This reflects their inability to empathize. It's a failure on their part and has nothing to do with you.”
― Jacqueline Simon Gunn

“Many survivors of a narcissist discover that they’ve sacrificed so much in an attempt to please the narcissist that they’ve lost sight of who they are. Rediscovering oneself involves reclaiming things once loved, be it passions, friendships, or even jobs. It’s about finding that one thing you used to enjoy and taking it back. Reconnect with your inner child, play, and reintroduce yourself to the joys that make you uniquely you.”
― Tracy Malone

“Nancy was as proud as she was critical of her younger daughter. She spoke glowingly about the precocious little girl who said her first sentence at seven months and walked at ten months.”
― Joan Frances Casey, The Flock: The Autobiography of a Multiple Personality

“Cruelty cannot be tamed by kindness.”
― Frances Woodard

“He was happy, though, and I was glad for that. He didn’t often seem to be happy, so I set out on a goal to make him happy as often as possible... Whenever I saw the glimmer of his happiness as a reality, I tried even harder to figure out what I could do to keep him feeling that way.
Those rare moments felt wonderful compared to the rest of our relationship, so I kept striving for more of them. But he kept moving the goal post, as abusers do, so it got harder and harder to actually find them.”
― Kate Mageau, Rose Colored Glasses

“It's not your fault. Love does not look for the monster in a person.”
― Christie Christie, The Sadistic Narcissistic: To Love a Ghost

“Emotional detachment is not selfish but grounded in truth,
boundaries, and self-care. It’s about self-preservation.”
― Christelle Maginot, Narc 101: The Illustrated Practical Guide to Identifying and Healing from Narcissistic Abuse

“A soul consumed by darkness can masquerade as a servant of God, but the fruit of their spirit will reveal their true nature. Behind the mask of piety, a legion of demons can reside, driving them to manipulate and deceive. Their words may be laced with venom, but their heart is a breeding ground for evil. A person's actions are a reflection of their inner world; observe their fruit, not their appearance. The enemy can disguise himself as an angel of light, but his true nature will be exposed. Be cautious of those who claim to speak for God, yet live in bondage to darkness.”
― Shaila Touchton

“A good way to gauge the health of a relationship is to ask yourself:
”
― Christelle Maginot, Narc 101: The Illustrated Practical Guide to Identifying and Healing from Narcissistic Abuse

“It’s important to note that in limerence, the addiction to this other person is often heightened by the fantasy, not the reality, of who they are and the nature of the relationship. Love and limerence overlap in that the more “challenging” the potential partner seems to obtain, the more alluring and rewarding that person may inevitably become to you. Love activates reward centers of the brain, creating a euphoric dopamine high that is extremely difficult to detox from, especially in unpredictable relationships. If you think you’re suffering from limerence or obsession, assess why you feel so drawn to this person and what they represent. Often we aren’t obsessed with this person, but rather what they mean to us. Perhaps they represent a new beginning after a breakup or the fulfillment of deep unmet needs in childhood. Maybe they’re an easier route to cope with our emotional unavailability than, say, actually dealing with the root of our emotional unavailability. Having a fantasy relationship, after all, is often times a lot more of an alluring prospect than having to deal with the actual struggles of modern dating or relationships.”
― Shahida Arabi MA, The Highly Sensitive Person's Guide to Dealing with Toxic People: How to Reclaim Your Power from Narcissists and Other Manipulators

“I instinctively understood that unaddressed pain often perpetuates cycles of hurt, passing from one generation to the next.”
― Shari Franke, The House of My Mother: A Daughter's Quest for Freedom

“A man must become the blacksmith of his soul, wielding reason as a hammer to forge his emotions on the anvil of self-awareness, tempering the heart’s wild impulses to shape enduring strength through life’s challenges.”
― Njau Kihia

“Immerse yourself in the authentic, so you'll be able to recognize the counterfeit.”
― Joy Marino

“Cursed by the words you say. Owner of the ones you keep.”
― Daniel de Llano, The Sparkle Trap: Recognizing, Escaping, and Healing from Narcissistic Abuse in LGBTQ+ Love

“Even in the fog.
Even in the confusion.
You were brilliant.”
― Daniel de Llano, The Sparkle Trap: Recognizing, Escaping, and Healing from Narcissistic Abuse in LGBTQ+ Love

“Hold your unicorns, baby”
― Daniel de Llano, The Sparkle Trap: Recognizing, Escaping, and Healing from Narcissistic Abuse in LGBTQ+ Love

“The health of the nation can be considered by analyzing the voting majority who elected a sexual predator over a woman.”
― Deanna L. Lawlis

“Everything that is abusive is allowed to end.”
― Deanna L. Lawlis

“Healthy families are sustained by honesty; unsafe systems are threatened by it.”
― Deanna L. Lawlis