d e a d t h i n g s o n s t i c k s .

REMEMBER THIS? OH, I'M SURE YOU DO.



Well, it's Eight Years Later.



How freaking awesome is that?

EXHIBIT #25235, COLONIZED CULTURE DIVISION, SPURIOUS REFERENCE AS NEWS, (see: Nation as sad, local reference, not as sophisticated as one would believe; see also, "How can you be superior if you're also this needy?")

Huzzah, Canadians. Take it to the battlements, please! The Americans have referenced Canada once more! On a hit show! And it's BIG, BIG, BIG NEWS! YAAAAAYYY! YAAAAY!

Seriously. I just threw up in my soul a bit.

So, you know, go read THE FULL NEWS ARTICLE about Michael Scott on THE OFFICE mentioning Winnipeg and we'll wait.

Great. .

Hey, you know what else? Did you catch this bit of the article?

Of course, the cast never actually was in Winnipeg, but parts of the episode are set there. (emphasis added)

Awesome.

BTW, Less Than Kind, a comedy series shot, set, and at least partially lived in Winnipeg -- continues Monday at 10:30 on CityTV.

Do try to watch. Unless you're busy affixing that maple leaf patch to your Europe-bound rucksack or something.

QUIETLY, WITHOUT LOOKING it seems, Super Channel, the also-ran PayTV channel that almost nobody has heard of, has become something I'm seriously considering adding to my cable package.

It's okay if you haven't heard of Super Channel. They've done a terrible job of promoting it. Some cable systems don't even carry it. Shaw's pulling their usual sneaky Shaw bullshit in trying to bury it. Arguably, right now, the only thing that anybody's talking about in the world of Canadian pay tv is the launch of HBO Canada, which really is nothing more than a simple re-brand of one of the plexed channels of TMN and Movie Central. Oh yeah, sure. And Bill Maher. That's new. Yawn. Point being, if you subscribe to Pay, you already get most of what HBO Canada is promoting. It proves at least that somebody in Canada can think strategically in terms of marketing, but not much else.

But that's not true with Super Channel. They actually do have stuff that nobody else in Canada has.

Interestingly enough it was a piece of marketing that got me thinking anew about Super Channel. They're hosting the premiere of the Starz original series Crash (based on the over-praised Paul Haggis movie) and so they put it up as a stream on their website. Now, I hated that movie, but I love me some Dennis Hopper, so that creates what we call a wee bit o' dissonance.

I haven't yet had the time to go watch the stream, but I did check out some of the other series offerings, and -- holy cow! There are like 20 series on there that aren't available anywhere else.

First, there's Sons of Anarchy, the biker-based series I haven't had a chance to check out by other means.

Then the other night I'm out saying goodbye to the wonderful Daisy Beaumont, a British actress who's just finished up a wonderful little arc in Season 2 of The Border. She was talking about a series she filmed in Mumbai awhile back called Mumbai Calling. I'm wondering where I can see it.

Super Channel.

Then there's Burn Notice. And The Closer. And Skins. The UK series Peep Show.

Suddenly it looks like I may have a little more research to do...

IT'S TRUE. That's just one of the shocking things that came out at Table 23 at the Geminis last night. "Hate" is a strong word, an ugly word, so I gave her ample time to walk that sentiment back. But nope. She stuck by it. Hates. Swiss. Chalet.

Worse, in her defence, she suggested that KFC was somehow superior. KFC! I know! There were hoots of derision all around, of course. When the subject of the Swiss Chalet barbecue sauce came up, I pointed out that I have been known to dab a little behind the ears to feel sassy, while Rob Sheridan (Little Mosque, Corner Gas) insisted that the extra sauce was the only way to go. Not the 4 oz. Oh no. The muthafuckin 12 oz. cup. Word.

It's a good thing Vera's such a great writer. Because, seriously.

Anyway, the Meridian Artists table had plenty of the fun, but none of the annoying bling. Jocelyn Cornforth and I (up for writing for Across the River to Motor City) watched as the category and the trophy went to the very, very fine script for Mayerthorpe by Andrew Wreggit. It stings less when you enjoyed the competition.

Which is what I said to console the dapper Alan McCulloch, whose Stargate: Atlantis came up short against my favorite Canadian show last year, Durham County, in a well-deserved series writing win for Laurie Finstad Knizhnik.

The promised hair-off between Al Magee and Glenn Cockburn never happened. But the award for most patient spouses go to Glenn's wife Stephanie, and Marla Rosebush Kaye, who were taking care of the brand-new-bambino coproductions at home while Cockburn and Marvin Kaye (Less Than Kind) pressed the flesh at the Liberty Grand. Glenn Cockburn was last seen lighting out to take the midnight shift.

Didn't see as many Writer Mafia types as last year, but there were standbys like Jill Golick, and Pete Mitchell. Graham Clegg waxed magnificent about the old Alliance days, when "night two was the night it all went crazy." Sadly, these are sobering times for TV, so the spirit of the party was subdued, but it was nice to see everyone all spiffified. Ken Girotti was in the house, a bit of time off before starting work on a pilot in Hamilton on Monday. "We're shooting the Hammer for the Hammer!"

Imagine such a thing.

And though my fave speech had to be Chris Szarka's pithy and exuberant acceptance for comedy directing winner T.W. Peacocke (Rent-A-Goalie,) my favorite moment of the night was watching Jonas Chernick accept his much-deserved award for playing the hell out of Heironymous Slade on The Border.

As my colleague Sarah said after, "Our Jonas beat Sam Neill."

Quite.

It's no secret that I love writing some of Slade's many disquisitions and outbursts -- it's the best part of my job writing The Border, because I get to write things that make me laugh and watch as he sells them, brilliantly. But those great moments when Jonas finds the humanity behind the character and makes you care about the guy -- that's all him.

Christopher Donaldson also picked up hardware for editing The Border, and the fine sound team for Across The River to Motor City picked up an award for their work on that show, too.

So I guess it's all over until..groan...night 4 in November.

Maybe they'll serve Swiss Chalet.

IF YOU'RE GOING to the Geminis tonight, be sure to come up and say, "Hi."

Unless you're a stalker of some sort, in which case, I'm pretty sure I just saw Paul Gross go thataway. And I'm sure he'd LOVE to read your script...

Kidding. I love Paul Gross. Geez.

I DON'T USUALLY just pimp the press releases, but since Durham County was one of my favorite shows of last year, and one of my favorite Canadian shows EVER, has started shooting its second season! More creepy goodness from Laurie Finstad Knizhnik and the good people at Back Alley Film Productions.

The second season follows Mike Sweeney (Hugh Dillon) and his family as they try to come to terms with the anguish they suffered as a consequence of their encounter with serial killer Ray Prager in the former season. Durham County 2 continues on its visceral journey through the human psyche as the main characters battle with the issues and demons left behind from the aftermath of season one.

“We’ve once again created an ensemble drama that combines pace and suspense with complex psychological characterization that will leave the audience on the edge of their seats,” says Finstad Knizhnik.

“Michelle Forbes plays a brilliant but troubled forensic psychiatrist who develops a very intense bond with Mike Sweeney,” says Director/Executive Producer Adrienne Mitchell (Durham County I, Bliss).

“We’re thrilled with the success of season one of Durham County. The Gemini nominations and the international sales reaffirm that a series like this can travel beyond Canada’s borders,” says Executive Producer Janis Lundman (Drop the Beat).

coming to TMN in 2009! Awesome!

BILL BRIOUX's up with a further entertaining account of his cross-country Hockey promo trip with the Rent-A-Goalie boys, and some good skinny from Phil Esposito, too.

The most breathtaking scenery was found up the coast. Eight of us squeezed into a van and drove through Gros Morne Provincial Park. This is where the nickname "The Rock" truly resonates. Massive cliffs thrust out into the ocean. Small towns like "Cow's Head" are scattered between the rock and fields, with small white houses and hundreds of lobster nets dotting the landscape. Dudes sit on rooftops, next to their dogs, drinking beer. This is Canada.

Executive producer Chris Szarka came prepared; dressed in shorts, he waded into the ocean down by the spot where, in 1919, "the worst storm ever" capsized the S.S. Ethie, a beauty of a ship according to the official park marker.

When you bitch about the lack of promo for Canadian shows, take a look at these guys. THAT is going the extra mile, mes amis. Also, I am contractually obligated here to point out once more that Chris Szarka is the Tallest Man In Canadian Show Business.

Rent-A-Goalie airs Mondays at 9:30 p.m. on Showcase.

NOT OFTEN DO you get a day as odd in scope as I had on set yesterday.

First up was the filming of the first sex scene I've ever written and had shot. Or at least it was the first scene with dialogue. It has so little to do with the lovin, does these sorts of scenes. All camera and flip the hair and clear the frame and closed set and careful this and don't look goofy that. And since I wanted something about fun, and intimacy, all I can say is that when people are laughing and joking through the whole thing, it does a heart good. Such a weird and amazing skill, this acting thing. It's amazing how something so utterly unlike the thing you're portraying -- a touching, intimate moment -- can be made to seem that way through performance, and blocking, and the right film stock and handy Directorial skill.

And the dialogue was charmingly, winningly delivered. Yay.

Then I got interviewed by Rick Mercer, who was spending the day learning how to fight and get shot on set. Director Brett Sullivan was charming and funny and great. I was...scared. Oh man, when you realize that Rick Mercer is there, and you're going to be... Mercered, the Catholic in me just bubbles up. Into your hands, I commend my spirit, oh Trickster.

That airs on next week's Rick Mercer Report. Yay.

Then, of course, was the fight scene. Graham Abbey getting thrown around the set, and a stunt guy bashing into all the breakaway pieces, and Randy Butcher's cool fight choreography. And Nick Campbell coming in with a late hit with a bat. Kapow.

Man, that is going to be one fun sound effects session. Like a wet fish hitting a snare drum. Or something. Anyway. Great fun, yay.

Wrap at 8:30. Last day for the B Script Supervisor and Both A.D.'s, last day for my eps of Season 2 of The Border. Made it.

Glad to be done with the 7:30 calls (you mean the crew does this every day?) but tremendously happy that I get to do this for a living, whatever the bumps along the way. It is a lot of work. But when the work is good, and the people are good -- it's worth it. It is.

I think.

Now. I have about six months of phone calls to return...

LONGTIME READERS KNOW that I talk a lot about how creatives shouldn't respond to their negative reviews. And I mean that. So let me take the spoonful of sugar with this apparent contradiction (although it's not really a negative review, so there!) to say that I appreciate that Kate Taylor took her column to write about Canadian TV today. She had some nice things to say about Rent-A-Goalie, and about my episode of The Border.

In fact, the whole point of this Border episode was to see if the show could stretch enough to not take itself too seriously. You'll have a chance to judge for yourself how well we succeeded tonight at nine.

But the question I have to ask is this: is it just me, or is this, again, a very Canadian review. You can't say, "I enjoyed this," because it has to be qualified at all costs. Just seems rather...odd. That's all. And not funny-odd like the Torontoist review of a couple weeks back.

The Border (CBC, 9 p.m.), on the other hand, takes itself pretty seriously. Too seriously, sometimes; like most crime shows out there it is rather too full of tough cops delivering self-important lectures on impending threats through narrowed eyes. They always remind me of security-system salesmen, all in the job of manufacturing fear. I can't say James McGowan's work as the troubled detective Mike Kessler is growing on me: The guy just looks unhappy most of the time. What a relief whenever the darkly funny Jonas Chernick appears on screen as the unit's resident hacker and intelligence geek, Hieronymous Slade.

What draws me to The Border, however, is how effectively its writers keep it rooted in the here and now. Sure, its notion tonight that some FLQ terrorist is going to come out of hiding 30 years down the road to track down a Quebec premier may be far-fetched, but the way this plot is woven into the story of a Quebec-Vermont border town is delicious.

The town is supposed to be one of those places where Canadians and Americans live happily side by side, with the local doctor in Canada and the drugstore in the U.S., while a red strip along a barroom floor represents the border. But when a Canadian border guard with orders to be extra vigilant delays the local fire brigade with a passport check and a house burns down, angry residents show agents Hourani and Lipinski just how they feel about recent increases in border security.

The tough Toronto agents can't believe this place where a terrorist could cross the border as easily as he could cross a street - and, of course, in this paranoid universe, this is where Mr. FLQ is going to show up.

It's nice to occasionally see ourselves - or at least some pumped-up facsimile thereof - on the tube.

I'm pretty sure these kinds of reviews say something about this country. It might even be something endearing. And I think it has a lot to do with the kinds of shows we end up making. But I'm no longer sure what. I think it might have something to do with the phrase "pumped up facsimile" -- because really, isn't that what TV drama is supposed to be?

In any case, whether it's a qualified and measured mention from Kate Taylor, or another pan from John Doyle, the P.T. Barnum in me steps up to embrace the important thing: you mentioned the show, and you got the time right.

So a big, heartfelt thanks from me!

FURTHER TO THE below– I’m pretty excited because Rick Mercer’s going to be on set of The Border all day today, for a bit that will air in a few weeks. And speaking of The Border, although I’d love you to watch Gas and RAG, I think maybe I’d like you to tape them more.

That way you can watch my second episode of THE BORDER, tonight at 9 on CBC. This one is a bit of a departure for the show. I wrote about it back when it was gestating and shooting. This is our first attempt at a comic subplot. Some funny stuff from former Second City ‘er Mark Wilson, and guest stars Matthew Deslippe, Reagan Pasternak, and Bruce Hunter. Definitely a stretch for the show.

Tune in and let me know what you think.

Oh, and if you tune in to the Canadian TV podcast, you can hear an interview with "Slade", Mr. Jonas Chernick, halfway through. He does a good plug for the episode, but doesn't mention my name. Man. What were those twenties for anyway, Chernick?

Doyle'll probably hate it. Ah well.

DON’T LOOK NOW, but comedy isn’t dead on TeeVee. In fact, if you’re in Canada, it’s in better shape than it’s been for some time.

Call it the Corner Gas effect (if you must.) After six seasons, they may be calling it quits. But the legacy is undeniable. Despite a host of new simulcast-driven timeslots over the years, a million and a half Canadians find the show each week. They buy the DVD’s and they celebrate Brent Butt’s everyman Brent Leroy with loyalty and affection. Affection. For a Canadian show.

It’s been a couple of years since you heard any real carping about Corner Gas. Next to the almost unheard of feat of actually making it through six whole seasons, the show seems also to have outlasted the curious subset of self-hating Canucks who wished to criticize it. Seems that, however grudgingly, like the lumberjack shirt, hockey hair or the toque, people are used to the idea that it’s okay to laugh at a show made by Canadians, for Canadians. Even the show’s export to the USA last year (where it airs on Chicago superstation WGN) caused a smaller than expected ripple. No, Canadians like Corner Gas because they like Corner Gas. Period. And nobody has to tell them it’s okay to like it.

Many have speculated about why this show made it where so many other attempts failed. The usual reasons, trotted out by we who are concerned about such things, go like this: the show’s rural setting speaks to how Canadians like to view themselves, as folksy, rural and not particularly uppity; the humor (sorry, humour) is gentle and not dependent on people suffering or being particularly mean to each other (except for maybe Oscar, and he usually gets his comeuppance) or maybe it’s just that Brent is so laconic and easygoing that he seems the kind of guy a good Canadian might want to have a beer with. A strong, Canadian beer. You know what I’m talking about.

There’s a behind-the-scenes host of reasons why this show flourished where so many others failed, too, of course. Corner Gas was blessed in its early days by a bit of benign neglect from the network, where the (now departed) CTV exec Louise Clark was really the only one putting her fingers in the pie. The Producers, led by Virginia Thompson, ran a tight ship, hired the best writers, and rather than try to make them extensions of some frustrated creative will – actually left them alone to do the writing. Finally, Butt kept the whole thing grounded to his comfort zone, his comic persona.

I dare say that if more shows ran the way Gas did, we’d have no end of comedy hits. Which is why it’s of some comfort to know that the lessons learned from Gas might help birth a couple of other new shows. Not only is Butt developing a new show for CTV starring his wife and co-star Nancy Robertson, but Former Gas Showrunners Kevin White, Paul Mather, and Mark Farrell have teamed with Gas alum Fred Ewaniuk in a pilot called Dan for Mayor. Both pilots have a shot to become a series in 2009.

As for the current crop, the obvious inheritor of the Gas effect was Little Mosque on the Prairie. In its first groundbreaking season, Mosque got all the attention for its novel concept, but viewers and critics were underwhelmed when it came to the actual comedy. The show was laboured and forced, more concerned with “teachable moments” than making people laugh. (Exactly the opposite of the Gas approach.) In a way it was a throwback to a bad old, melodrama-style of CBC show. Whereas Corner Gas was light and enjoyable, Mosque seemed preachy and fitfully plotted.

An injection of two writers (Paul Mather and Rob Sheridan) from the Corner Gas stable in time for the show’s second (much longer) season, brought some of Gas’ light touch – better gags and structure, a surer focus on the ensemble, and an expansion of the world beyond its one-idea premise. People who had written off Mosque slowly drifted back. The show built its audience steadily over the second season, finishing at or around the million viewer mark. For the third season, some of those viewers have fallen away (TV viewership across all channels is down) but there are signs that Mosque’s 700 000 or so viewers might have some room to grow. The show is now closer in tone to Corner Gas – not quite the same level of goofy whimsy, and maybe a little preachier and staler than season two, but with stories that are competently plotted and amiable in their appeal.

Another show is vying for the Corner Gas comedy crown, though, by going for a different tone that still has a Canadian cant to it. Less Than Kind (Mondays, 10:30 Citytv) follows the misadventures of a Jewish family in Winnipeg, as seen primarily through the eyes of their whip-smart, socially awkward, hefty 16 year old son, Sheldon. (Jesse Camacho). Less than Kind eschews the quiet whimsy of Corner Gas for more of an urban – come – suburban take. This family yells, and bickers, and has sex and cheats on their income taxes. It’s a bit like The Wonder Years, but with swearing and psychological conditions like pyromania, and situational narcissism. You have to give credit to a show that shoots Winnipeg for Winnipeg in the winter. That snow aint potato flakes, people.

As much as Less Than Kind goes for the edge, though, there’s still something kind of sweet about it. The relationship between Sam Blecher (Maury Chaykin) and his wife is affecting. There’s a scene where the wife blows up at Sam and he wanders the streets, not knowing what to do. He’s lost without her. Aww.

Less Than Kind also benefits from some truly lucky and superb local casting. You know how sometimes it seems like Canadian shows use the same ten actors? Well, not Less Than Kind. For every Shaun Majumder who shows up, there’s a spectacular newcomer doing a brilliant comic turn. As run by Mark McKinney and created by Chris Sheasgreen and Marvin Kaye, you could call Less Than Kind a quirky delight, except that word ‘quirky’ has been so abused in Canadian film and TV circles that it’s more like an albatross around the neck than a compliment. So let’s just call Less Than Kind what it is: a delight.

With no new season of Trailer Park Boys, the guns and weed and strangely sweet, profane lo-fi sensation, your other pick for Canadian comedy tonight is the premiere of Season 3 of Rent-A-Goalie. RAG doggedly takes on their own promo to try and spread the word on this very Canadian show – it’s Canadian down to its DNA, so much so that format sales are probably the only way this show would export. From the cameos by NHL’ers to the multicultural, not melting pot treatment of ethnicity (the show posits a heightened vision of Toronto where Russians, Italians, Irish, African Canadians and every other ethnicity rub shoulders and don’t subsume who they are – kind of like the real Toronto) this take on the workplace comedy has an egalitarian streak a mile wide. Cake (Christopher Bolton) is a reformed bad boy. Sometimes he’s a genius, sometime’s he’s a knob. But he lives by a code and tries to treat everyone fairly. Even his enemy isn’t such a bad guy – and it’s clear that they have a bond. (Try imagining a drunken convo between Ben Kenobi and Darth Vader where they hug it out instead of going to the sabres.)

RAG mines the territory of the gross-out boy joke, with a bit of gratuitous sex and stupid violence thrown in. It’s like the Farrellys on five, instead of eleven. Someone always gets hit in the nuts, but never too hard, and they always manage to skate it off. People are accepted for who they are – be they lesbians, agoraphobes, sex-crazed councillors, gassy goalies, sex addicts, or Byelorussian goons with attachment issues.

Like the best of the Judd Apatow stuff, though, the gross out stuff is misleading. Every once in a while you’ll catch a joke or a riff that’s entirely more literate and elevated. Hockey, sex, and shenanigans – all performed by an exuberant and likable cast. This is a group that really has life by the pucks. (Disclosure: I helped plot season 2 of RAG and wrote early drafts of two episodes, but I look forward to season 3 merely as a fan.)

So three – count’em -- Canadian comedy shows, all with something to recommend them – airing on the same night. Not bad. There’s only three U.S. sitcoms I watch with any regularity, and they’ve got what, ten times the population?

But of course, we’re not even done. Because as I’ve written before, Canada’s topical sketch tradition continues, thanks to CBC.

Both The Rick Mercer Report and This Hour Has 22 Minutes have come back incredibly strong this year – thanks to an election, and perhaps, a bit more boldness and sharpness in the satire. Mercer and 22 have also continued to evolve apart, with Rick going more for his experiential bits as 22 falls back, with a rejuvenated cast – on its strengths – strong desk jokes and short sketch parodies.

Contrast that to CTV’s attempts to float a sketch show – the horrible Comedy Inc, the underwhelming Popcultured, Jessica Holmes – and you’ll see that taking care actually does make a difference. You can’t write 84 sketches and shoot them all. Something’s gotta hit the floor.

Every few months, it seems, some Canadian journo gets it in their head to do a “why are Canadians so funny?” article, usually based around this or that Canadian who’s gone south for fame and fortune. Most comics and comedy writers you talk to will struggle with the question publicly, and often denounce it as bullshit privately.

Comedy is hard. There’s no question about it. And if Canada has produced a series of substandard comedies in the past (and it has,) maybe that’s because comedy is so delicate, so fragile, so hard to get right – that the catalogue of ways you can screw it up has proven to be a huge hill to climb.

There’s the writing itself. Producers or Execs that want to “fix” the writing. People in power with no sense of humor. Inexperienced cast who oversell every line, or mug, or refuse to throw away a line to make it land, because they don’t trust the material; Directors who don’t stage the scene correctly, or get the right coverage. Editors who don’t give it the right pace – and all this before you get to the P.R. campaign that manages to sell it wrong. Ugh.

Then and only then, if you’re lucky, do you get to be judged by an audience. Who may or may not get you. Most every comic writer I know dreams of getting to that point. They’d rather take their chances with the audience than watch their baby strangled in the crib. (Or worse, being forced to strangle it themselves.)

Yup. It’s hard. Which is one of the reasons why I think the way the Comedy category is administered in the Gemini Awards is a joke.

This Wednesday, the Gemini for Best Comedy writing will be handed out in Toronto. EDIT: A correction... apparently Comedy/Variety writing is on the Gala night, Nov. 28. Look. I got one of the FOUR NIGHTS OF GEMINIS confused! Bizarrely, Corner Gas and Mosque – inarguably the two most successful (in terms of audience) scripted comedies on Canadian TV – received zero nominations.

This could have something to do with the fact that the category is actually called Comedy/Variety. Which means that shows like Gas (or nominees Billable Hours and the low budget IFC show Cock’d Gunns) find themselves up against 22 Minutes and The Mercer Report.

That’s just wrong. I’m sorry. I know there’s a little unintended comedy in asking for there to be actually MORE categories of Geminis. But if you look over the list, you’ll see about four or five awards for what amounts to ‘Best Host.’ There are several different flavours of documentary awards to choose from. Even the category I’m nominated in, Best Writing in a Dramatic Movie or Miniseries, doesn’t have to also absorb entries from the Drama Series category.

A brilliant Rick Mercer field bit, a sublime 22 Minutes desk joke, and a great episode of Corner Gas are all funny. But they’re funny in different ways, for different reasons. Comedy is subjective and difficult to judge anyway. Why would you make the process harder?

There should be a variety or sketch category, and a comedy series category. Fullstop.

In any case, audience, there you go. There are three great Canadian comedies to choose from tonight. With another Reforma-Tory government in play, and an economy about to crater, all I can say is: lucky you. Pull up a chair and laugh til you cry.