Note: 'Light-Elf proverbs' are to be used in my upcoming epic franchise about Autistic Elfs who gain the powers of the Gods called The Unifiers .

'Wear LOVE as your armor.' (Literally: 'Let MARIANA be your shield.') ~ The Book of Love, from The Scriptures , the holy tome of the Light-Elfs.

'I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness because it shows me the stars.' ~ Og Mandino

'You can never cross the ocean unless you have the courage to lose sight of the shore.' ~ Christofo Columbo (a.k.a. Christopher Columbus)

'Charity should transcend [all barriers].' ~ Paraphrase of a quote by Col. Wilhelm Klink (played by Werner Klemperer), Hogan's Heroes , episode 'The Big Gamble'

'A new story can frighten any creature, until it realizes its role within.' ~ Spinner Benieth, The Elder Scrolls Online

'Money is the root of all evil, therefore we must abolish wall street, capitalists, and then money itself, in that order. Also drugs, alcohol, and narcotics, all at the same time.'

'[...W]e are the leaves to gather the sun-light.' ~ The Prophet, The Elder Scrolls Online

' Man shouldn't die, man shouldn't die, MAN SHOULDN'T DIE TO ANOTHER MA~N! ' ~ Paraphrase of a song heard in the American sit-com Modern Family

' Man shouldn't lie, man shouldn't lie, MAN SHOULDN'T LIE TO ANOTHER MA~N! ' ~ As above.

'People keep saying "ESO is dead look at the player counts," as if no game in history has ever seen lower player counts after years on the market. Not even the best games out there maintain their launch window player counts.' ~ Unknown, posted on the TESO forum on Steam

'Play the game if you like it. Stop playing if you don't. IT's as simple as that.' ~ 'Roadie', English TESO Steam forums

'Sometimes, the best way to find out whether you can trust someone, is simply to trust them.' ~ The Prophet, The Elder Scrolls Online

'Wisdom is a circle: what you receive, you must give back.' ~ Acceleron (racing-alien) proverb, Hot Wheels: World Race and Hot Wheels: Acceleracers

'Judge not, lest ye be judged as well.' ~ The Book of Matthew, Chapter Seven, Verse One, The Bible: King James' Version

'If everybody minded their own business, the world would go around a great deal faster than it does.' ~ Lewis Carrol

'If you can't tame your own fear, how can you tame anything else?' ~ Gena Omarys, The Elder Scrolls Online

'We cannot change the past, nor should we cling to it.' ~ Gjalder, Father of Lyris Titanborn, The Elder Scrolls Online

'When you lose your temper, you lose your worth.' ~ Abnur Tharn, Grand Chancellor of Nibenay, The Elder Scrolls Online

'The cool water flows, and cleanses the mind.' ~ Obaxith, The Elder Scrolls Online

'When the waves of war roll in, the people of the earth are lost to the flood.' ~ Nolu-Azza, The Elder Scrolls Online

'[...][T]he day words are enough will be the day when soldiers [...] are no longer needed.' ~ Galmar Stone-Fist, The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim

'Intelligence breeds competition; Wisdom breeds Co-Operation.' ~ Light-Elf proverb

'[...][W]alk in the Light.' ~ Turaga Vakama of Ta-Koro (the Fire Village), Bionicle: Mask of Light

'We are all pieces of a greater puzzle; when we come together, anything is possible.' ~Light-Elf proverb

'Out of many, one; out of one, many. All are equal and infinite.' ~Light-Elf proverb

'For every action, there is an opposing reaction of equal magnitude.' ~ Light-Elf proverb

'When wisdom and valor fail, all that remains is faith. And it can overcome all.' ~ Toa Mata Tahu, Mata Nui Online Game

'Infinite diversity in infinite combinations.' ~ Vulcan philosophy, Star Trek franchise

' It's been a lon-g roa-d... Gettin' from there to here.... It's been a lon-g ti-me... But my time is fi-n'ly here.... A-nd I- will see - my dream come alive at last.... I will touch the sky-.... And they're not gonna hold me back no more, no they're not gonna change my mind.... 'Cause I've got fai-aith, Of the heart.... Gonna go where my heart will take me.... I've got stren-ength, Of the soul.... No one's gonna bend or break me.... I've got fai-aith, To believe.... I can do - a-nythin'.... I can rea-each, a-ny sta-r.... I've got faith (I've got, I've got, I've got) I've got fai-ai-aith.... Faith of the hear-ar-art.... ' ~ Star Trek: Enterprise theme-song, 'Faith of the Heart'

' Take my love, take my land, Take me where I cannot stand.... I don't care, I'm still free, You can't take the sky from me.... ' ~ Theme-song from the unfortunately very short-lived TV show Firefly

'May the light shine upon thee' ~ King Lorik XVI, a.k.a. King Lars XVI, Dragon Warrior , a.k.a. Dragon Quest I

'People say war is hell, but war is far worse than hell; there are no innocent by-standers in hell, only sinners, but war is filled with innocent people being killed by foreign soldiers.' ~ Based upon a quote from the TV show M*A*S*H

'Keep calm and carry on.' ~ Unknown

'Look around you; count the true believers. How many of these people really have faith? It's easy to have faith when everything's fine.' ~ Retired Imperial Cleric, The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion

'Which is better: to be born good, or to overcome your evil nature through great deeds?' ~ Paarthurnax, The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim

'The truth is always a threat to evil men.' ~ The Prophet, The Elder Scrolls Online

'If everyone around you seems to be a jerk, perhaps it is you who is the real jerk.' ~ Based upon a quote from the American sitcom Mom

'We should put all the tranys on Snake Island.' ~ Me, based upon a quote from my next-door neighbor.

Why did the pedophile call in sick?
Answer: He was FEELING-UP a little HORSE!

What do you call a fish that's also a rock-star?
Answer: A BASS drummer!

Why did the cat join the circus?
Answer: To PURR-form!

Why are horses such pessimists?
Answer: Because they're NEIGH-sayers!

What do you call an absolutely astounding display of cowboy skills?
Answer: A WOAH-deo!

What will Bob Dylan do when he dies?
Answer: He'll go knock, knock, knockin' on Heaven's door.

Why are most sports aimed at men?
Answer: Because you need BALLS to play most sports!

What would Marvel Comics' Bruce Banner become if he started packing on the pounds?
Answer: The Incredible BULK!

Why can't you eat Bruce Banner?
Answer: Because he's The INEDIBLE Hulk!

What do you call a sneezing Pokémon?
Answer: An A-A-CHU!

Which Pokémon is a notorious peeping Tom?
Answer: PIKACHU! (Peek-at-you)

What's it called when the Daedric Prince of Madness and Insanity gets angry?
Answer: Sheogor-WRATH!

Why do so many first-time Skyrim players burn the hen in Riverwood?
Answer: They want EXTRA CRISPY CHICKEN!

What's the best way to improve your Skyrim experience?
Answer: Kill Nazeem. In the most brutal way possible.

What do you call a bald, and hairless Khajiit?
Answer: A SHAVED P U S S Y !

What do you call an Elf on drugs?
Answer: A HIGH Elf!

What do you call an Elf with an erection?
Answer: A WOOD Elf!

Why did so many people stand outside wearing suits of metal armor during thunderstorms during Prohibition?
Answer: They wanted to be struck by lightning so they could still get FRIED!

What was the most popular card-game in Ancient Egypt?
Answer: Gin MUMMY!

I think there's something very fishy about mermaids.

I think there's something rotten in Denmark. Must be all the dead fish. You know, with so many ports and all.

Why did the contractor call up LEGO?
Answer: He wanted to be sure he had the rights to build a BRICK house!

How do orcs greet each other?
Answer: They say 'URUK-HAI!'

How do orcs congratulate one another?
Answer: They give each other URUK-HAI-fives!

What do you call a mage who uses the bathroom a lot?
Answer: A WHIZZ-ard!

What do you call a sex-addicted mage?
Answer: A JIZZ-ard!

How do vampires get drunk?
Answer: By drinking BLOOD-weiser!

What do you call a terrible, female vampire?
Answer: A SUCK-ubus!

What's Sauron's favorite planet?
Answer: Saturn, because it has RINGS!

What kind of car does Sauron drive?
Answer: A MORDOR sedan!

What brand of car does Sauron drive?
Answer: A BMW: Barad-dûr MordorWerken!

What Kentucky sports stadium allows dogs to play on the court?
Answer: PUP Arena!

What's the best place to get a pint in the Star Wars galaxy?
Answer: Kef BEER!

What's it called when a Tyrannosaur gets a hard-on?
Answer: A T-REX-tion!