Spycker
Amsterdam
Spycker came to Earth in the Dutch town of Zoeterwoude, famous for its beer brewery and its magnificent water tower. After finishing high school, he went to study physics. Frustrated at not discovering the smallest particle around, he decided to join a radical rural community in Northern Bulgaria. After 5 years his beard had grown too long and his toenails too soft. He left, but not without a newly-crafted plan: finding the Lord our God. Spycker did actually find God, but he discovered that God was a jealous God, and also very angry with the fact that our hero had neglected his duties at the bi-weekly grain offerings. Finally, Spycker decided that it was time to return to his homeland. In a small bordertown, he stumbled across the long-lost songs of the 16th century Flemish troubadour Armelius Klaasz Spycker. Adopting the name of his beloved musical ancestor, Spycker modernized these songs and went on to become another wannabe nobody.