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This is the Bertie Cakes Mixtape; a 18 track project produced by Eugene Cunningham. 2 years ago Eugene was gifted the ageing family Dell computer by his 16 year old grandson. As far as he understood, this was a crude attempt at a retirement gift.
Eugene, born in 1950 into an acting dynasty, grew up in the small Bedfordshire town of Biggleswade. From an early age he displayed much of his parents creative flair. Met with much consternation and spurred on by a youthful disdain for his oppressive upbringing, Eugene launched his own private rebellion. He abandoned his Physics degree in his first year of study, and went on to pursue a successful career in taxidermy.
In 1969, the year that The Archies released Sugar Sugar, Eugene emigrated to Vienna, Austria. It was here that his taxidermy business really took flight, creating such famous works as “Squirrel Party” (A leading example of anthropomorphic taxidermy) and “Fish In A Top Hat Contemplating Existence”
In 1986 Eugene received a call from Lord Leonard “Lenny” Hoffman, who wished to commission what would later become known as Cunningham’s seminal work; “Pink Elephant On Parade”. He immediately moved to London and continued to push the boundaries of the taxidermy trade.
At the turn of the last decade, Eugene had made his fortune. In 2010 he hung up his taxidermist gloves for the last time. He returned to the place where it all began, Biggleswade. It was around this time that Eugene discovered his talent for the beautiful game bowls. He is the president of the Biggleswade Town Bowls Club (Which is affiliated with the Bedfordshire County Bowls Association and Bowls England) and is currently undefeated in his last 100 games. Needless to say he is quite a hit with the ladies. This is much to the dismay of the previous record holder William Hobbs who, until this year, had won 95 consecutive games only to be defeated by Eugene “Silver Balls” Cunningham himself.
As mentioned previously, Eugene received a hand me down Dell around this time. After a few days in which he learned how to click, right click, and various other computer basics, he discovered a number of unfinished tracks which had been started by his grandson James on Cubase 3. This pained Eugene. How could James have left these tracks unfinished? In reference to his latest hobby, it simply did not compute.
Eugene finished the tracks.
During this time Eugene became infatuated with the UK Bass music scene, and is a regular attendee to events such as FWD» and DMZ.
Last week, while enjoying a scone in the restaurant at Vanstone Park Garden Centre in Codicote, Hertfordshire, Eugene received a call from Gladys, a particularly saucy specimen who still has both her original hips. Whilst Gladys herself had little to say which was of any interest to anyone, Eugene ringtone; Pon De Floor by Major Lazer, pricked the ears of Chocolate Chips very own Gold Bloom who regularly comes to Vanstone Park to pick up recent divorcees. Upon further discussion about music, Eugene showed Gold Bloom his tracks at his country home. It was meet with instant approval and Gold Bloom knew he had discovered a pioneer. He has since been quoted as saying of the event, “I remember it because I had been overcharged at the till.”
Powerful words indeed. It was this very meeting that sparked a close friendship between these 2 great men. More than that, it is the meeting that brought Eugene Cunningham or Bertie Cakes, as he is now known, to our ears.