Lyrics:
[Verse 1]
Took a trip to Santa cruz, didn’t think anything of it,
In the car, me and brother pushing our mothers buttons,
We got to the peer, as a family
Walked in the beach,
Toes in the sand, finally feel free
Water lookin beautiful,
Spreading his ashes in water, was our funeral,
Walked around, looking for an exiting sight to see,
Mom pulled out the phone,
That was the moment, for 5 years,
We wouldn’t have peace,
For that time, it felt like forever waves of grief,
It hit me,
Father, mother, brother in tears
Didn’t even have him for a year,
Didn’t even get to say goodbye,
Remember seeing the pain and struggle in his eyes,
In my head saying
“He tried, He tried, He tried”
[Chorus]
On September 11th, my grandfather died,
I didn’t wanna be alive
Even though he would have wanted me to live and thrive, I didn’t care tho
I was like f the world, you can eat, just not at my table
How many days have I lived?
How many days have I been alive?
Waiting for someone who’s never gonna arrive
How many days have I survived?
How many days have I cried?
How many days have I lied, or been lied to?
(Lied or been lied too)
[Verse 2]
How many days have I been lied too,
Still having a little kids eye view?,
Take the L as lessson, not a loss
I arise oh lord to do thy will for the one that died for our sins on the cross
Same day he died, I died too
Was trying not to blame myself, but gettin overruled,
We all born sinners, but I’m a born winner,
I’m working for breakfast, while you bitches eatin dinner
It’s a kill or be killed world, but my souls too kind to be a killer
But still don’t know what’s fake, real, or realer
I gave yall 44, yall wanted 44 more
Trust in God, he knows what’s in store
[Verse 3]
All you people, not friends just acquaintances,
Guarantee in 10 years I won’t remember 90% of yall faces ,
2025, I’m trying to keep my body, my mind and soul, high maintenance
I don’t know why I wanna get famous,
Memories of grandpa are starting to get faded
People want me to face facts, let’s face it
Red pill like neo in the matrix, everyone sayin your doin too much, let’s go back to the basics
This is the album that shows I’m gonna make it,
I will be the greatest,
My grandfather was the concrete, and I became the pavement
[Chorus]
On September 11th, my grandfather died,
I didn’t wanna be alive
Even though he would have wanted me to live and thrive, I didn’t care tho
I was like f the world, you can eat, just not at my table
How many days have I lived?
How many days have I been alive?
Waiting for someone who’s never gonna arrive
How many days have I survived?
How many days have I cried?
How many days have I lied, or been lied to?
(Lied or been lied too)