Rotten Reelz Reviews: horror sequel

Showing posts with label horror sequel. Show all posts

Thursday, September 23, 2021

Horrortales.666 Part 2

Hey there, Readers of the Rotten! I was requested by producer/writer/actor/director Phil Herman (Hell on Earth II: The Arena of Death, Burglar from Hell, Tales for the Midnight Hour, HorrorTales.666, Into the Woods,Sickened and Morbid Stories) with C Word Productions (Lycanimator, Slimoids, Ouija Mummy and Hey Alice) along with production of cult and B movies, The Sleaze Box (Amerikan Holokaust, Cannibal Claus, Chaso A.D., Death-Scort Service, and Earth Girls Are Sleazy) to give today's movie a gander.

This would be an indie horror anthology. I know that sounds so unusual on my blog he said sarcastically, but I am more than willing to give it an objective view. All kidding aside, our story starts with a burglar breaking into the wrong house with the promise of Hell or journey through dark tales. This is HorrorTales.666 Part 2.

Do farts have lumps?

Our movie opens with a dedication to the late, great Scream Queen Julie Strain (136 films) who passed away in January this year and graced the original film with her role. Our credits with a speed metal number unveiling what is to come but offers no insight to what the film is going to be about. I like that as it gives some suspense, instead of those indie films that use footage of the movie and basically give you a barrage of spoilers you didn't ask for and ruins the overall vibe of the film. A quick text side scroll tells us the burglar is back from the previous film, giving a highlight of what occurred last time.

18 years prior, a burglar (Joel D. Wynkoop of Wicked Games, Creep, Addicted to Murder: Tainted Blood, Scary Tales, Evil Tales 3: The Final Chapter, HorrorTales.666, Before I Die, Joel D. Wynkoop's the Bite and Always Midnight) snuck into a house, found a computer loaded for taboo stories of darkness and he couldn't look away, reading one after the other. That's how he got pinched the first time. . 18 years later, that same burglar broke into yet another house with more disturbing stories for his reading pleasure. The nagging wife is driving him crackers about getting a job. Yeah because viable work is always available to ex-cons. There's...convenience store clerk after midnight, um...collecting recycling as early as 5 a.m. , maybe mopper at the nudey booths. Okay petty thievery may be his best option.

Heckraiser.

However, this time an actual threat appears in the form of a deranged voice and then he manifests into...well either a rocker or possibly an evil hippie devil. (director/writer/producer/actor Jaysen Buterin of Monster X, Strange Events 2, Kill Giggles, Doctor Who: The Ginger Chronicles, Bombshell Bloodbath, Fix It in Post and Hellarious) Our devil taunts him, giving him the choice. Creepy as hell stories or the eternal agony of Hell itself. With as many options as a fish and chip shop, our burglar sits down for another round of terror induced tales.

Our first story is Open House. No doubt a happy couple trying to get a home of their own and something goes awry. Yes, yes I know. Jake, don't be so pessimistic. An absolute doll of a girl is busying herself with some arts and crafts...while two bodies are laying slump and had plastic bags used on them. Yes, I think we should question the little girl too but I am not sure if she didn't have anything to do with it. In walks a shrouded killer who merely glances at the little girl and walks out. Yup she'll be fine. A few inexpiable homicides, serious psychotherapy, eh she'll bounce right back.

Well, don't eat Taco Bell.

Sue (Noellie Burger of Matthew and Ophelia's Wonderful World of Fun, Social Distance, Massacre Academy and 13 Fanboy)the new realtor has been tasked to get that property looking swanky and available for those new potential owners. I wonder if her firm does full disclosure. "Yes the kitchen is roomy, great countertops and we had a double homicide here ages ago." Beth and co-worker Kate start to prep a collective of pranks that could end badly for all.

Next story is The Last Farewell of Mr. Perez is a tale of Mr. Perez's final days on Earth. Ordinary I would expect an expensive bottle of hooch and a myriad of "Woe is me" when Perez has a true epiphany. An eye-opening experience, to know what his true purpose in life has always been. With the minuscule budget our film has, the effects are pretty impressive for this movie. While it feels more science fiction in appearance plot-wise, it's still a solid story.

As we move on to the next story, we gaze into the cheating heart of Mrs. Claus via Slay Ride. Yes Mrs. Claus is getting holly and jolly with one of Santa's little helpers. She's claiming his candy cane for the season. Unfortunately for these merry and bright, Santa is all too aware of this breaking and entering and seizes the opportunity to put them on the naughty list. Santa enjoys a wank before his murderous rage. Yup, you guessed it, there's titty. I know some of you were waiting to ask that. The gore gags could have been better but it covers it well enough.

Onto The Present with Larry (Kirk Sardonis of Drifter, Horrortales.666 Part 2 and Things 666) heading to his cellar to find his wife Julia (Roxxy Mountains of Drifter, Dark Zone Thirteen, Things 5, Horrortales.666 Part 2 and Things 666) and boy we wasted no time at all, right to the sex and the ultra ultra violence. Yes lady readers, there be even more titty. Yippey.

The last story, My Life this weird meta story line drags Dustin Hubbard and Phil Herman attempting to get work done on Horrortales.666 Part 2. Everyone under the sun and maybe a bit of Troma status is hounding the two for parts in the flick.

Familiar faces like Shawn C.Phillips (MILFs vs Zombies, Director's Cut, Camp Blood 4, Camp Blood 5, Grindsploitation, The Killer Robots! Crash and Burn, Allusion , Bloody Island and Witchcraft 16: Hollywood Coven), Ari Lehman (Friday the 13^th, Night on Has Been Mountain, The Girl, House of Forbidden Secrets, Easter Sunday and Cheerleader Camp: To the Death), Debbie Rochon (Vampire's Kiss, Banned, Black Easter, Broadcast Bombshells, Santa Claws, Red Lips II, The Vampire's Seduction, In the Hood and Rage of the Werewolf) and Debbie D (Sorority Slaughter 2, Legal Entrapment, Play Dead, Destiny: Vampire Mermaid, Tales for the Midnight Hour, The Go-Go Girl Strangler!, Hayride Slaughter, Abducted! And Hayride Slaughter II).

With this film tallying out to an hour and 55 minutes, it does provide plenty eerie and morbid creativity. This shows clever directors giving it their all with a limited budget, proving they can compete with big budget horror having to push the envelope with more imagination. The variety of the films gives credence to an anthology.

Hey kids! It's Debbie Rochon!

Wednesday, March 31, 2021

Camo vs Genevieve

Welcome back Readers of the Rotten. Yes I have been pounding the virtual pavement and getting a handful of freelance gigs but nothing continuous writings. But enough of that, today we have a reprising director/writer Nicholas Michael Jacobs (Night, Urban Fears, Tales from Six Feet Under, Genevieve, Genevieve Wreaks Havoc and Twisted Tales), who has asked me to review his horror/comedy continuing the legacy of the warped little doll and the monstrous behavior that we are accustomed from her. This is Camo vs Genevieve

Genevieve is a messy eater...of souls.

So back again from NMJ Films request to gaze further into the warped world of Genevieve. We last we looked in on Genevieve; our little murderous moppet, she had just dispatched David (actor/producer/director Nicholas Michael Jacobs of Puppet Master X:Axis Rising, Night, Urban Fears, Tales from Six Feet Under and Genevieve) and was found roaming about by Ted Morris, (Shawn C. Phillips of Camp Blood 4, Camp Blood 5, Grindsploitation, Killer Waves, Witchcraft 16: Hollywod Coven, Cannibal Cop, Urban Fears, Axegrinder 2 and Camp Blood 8: Revelations) home owner and distraught father who had just returned home from his son's funeral. It is unclear if he knew Genevieve's dark past or her homicidal tendencies but boy you'd think you would want to keep a close eye on that or the cops are going to wonder why there are so many dead mail carriers on your front porch.

Alas this good wisdom will not been carried out by Ted as Genevieve decides she is better off without Ted and turns on him as well. Given the sheer convenience of having Ted out of the house while is attending his late son's funeral, this critic wonders if it was in fact, the dark doll doing in Ted's son.

Flying Squirrel Attack!

No sooner has Genevieve dealt a death blow to Ted, a camouflaged jumpsuit and hockey wearing, knife wielding individual makes his way into the house. Given this is in the middle of the morning, my question should stand when I ask, "What the hell did the neighbors think seeing this garbed guy with a butcher knife?!" What went through their heads? Hmm, is that a cosplayer? Maybe a Friday the 13^th fanboy? A disgruntled paintballer by chance?

Our lurking hulk is known only as Camo (actor/producer/director Nicholas Michael Jacobs of Puppet Master X:Axis Rising, Night, Urban Fears, Tales from Six Feet Under and Genevieve), as he purposely came to the house in search of what or whom? Could Camo be after Genevieve? Perhaps they have crossed paths before. Is Genevieve responsible for some tragic event that created Camo? Can Camo end Genevieve and her evil ways or is he simply mad at her for taking his chosen kills?

Genevieve's previous address was Amityville.

Scouring the house trying to find Genevieve, Camo realizes there are plenty of places for her to hide, given she is about 24 inches tall. Before any of you scoff at that, keep in mind she could bite into a calf muscle, that nerve cluster up the outside your calf or just slash open the Achilles tendon and watch Camo flop to the floor.

Camo and the murderous, malefic moppet do battle. Genevieve seeming to have the upper hand but Camo stabs her to the level worthy of Norman Bates. One would conclude the fight has ended and Camo may want to tend to his minor wounds. But is Genevieve finally over?

Again the synthesizer score brought by Nicholas Michael Jacobs ratchets up the tension well and gives it an old school slasher vibe about the movie. The impeding battle score to the lulling persons into a false sense of security, mellow chords. All this is accomplished on a meager budget, with good camera and lighting techniques, that makes me wonder what could be captured with a large funding.

Having Sockmonkey murder flashbacks...

Tuesday, August 25, 2020

Geneieve Wreaks Havoc

Hey there Readers of the Rotten. Yeah I need to really word shop that. Welcome back to the blog. Been a lot of work these past few days so sorry for the lack of blog posts. I did receive another request by director Nicolas Michael Jacobs (Night, Urban Fears, Tales from Six Feet Under and Geneieve) to give a sequel to his morbid killer doll film. To continue the terror that started in a basement all by his lonesome, would-be thief David has been ambushed by Genevieve and eventually the home owner is on his way home. This is Genevieve Wreaks Havoc.

Ready for my close-up, Mr. Jacobs.

NMJ films returns with another turn of the dark tale with evil doll Genevieve. A quick recap of the previous film, David (actor/producer/director Nicholas Michael Jacobs of Puppet Master X:Axis Rising, Night, Urban Fears, Tales from Six Feet Under and Genevieve) after successfully breaking into Ted's house made his way down to the basement to lift the creepy little doll only to be battered, bashed and attacked by this disturbing and macabre doll is attempting to escape with his life.

Attempting to answer his smarter than he phone, the deadly dolly has her wicked way with David, cackling all the while. Finding some semblance of strength to make it back up the stairs, horror ensues.

The owner of said house, Ted Morris (Shawn C. Phillips of Camp Blood 4, Camp Blood 5, Grindsploitation, Killer Waves, Witchcraft 16: Hollywod Coven, Cannibal Cop, Urban Fears, Axegrinder 2 and Camp Blood 8: Revelations) has just returned from the funeral of his child to find this bit of crazy happening. Yeah I don't think I have ever had that bad a day. With a bit of elbow grease, the house it put to right and Ted sounds exhausted. He chastises Geneieve for her evil shenanigans as she peers in at his handy work. Can Ted keep Geneieve from going on a killing spree? Will she eventually turn on him? How many times has this happened?

Crypt Keeper got impatient.

With a eerie synthesizer chord, good camera work and decent effects, this continuation is graphic, disturbing and a bit sinister. Our director is trying to get as much mileage out of this vicious killer collectible as much as possible. It of course also begs the question, who hired David in the first place? Was this an inside job? Is there some satanic brickabrack collection in the black market? Can I also get a devious hell cube as well?

Our story hasn't finished as we are left with a to be continued notion, so part 3 is clearly in the works.

This evil tale will be made available to Amazon and YouTube on October 1^st , just in time for the trick o' treaters. I for one, will be at the ready to see this story unfold further with Geneieve: The Killer Doll and it is proof that Nicholas Michael Jacobs can do dark and atrocious on a limited budget. Let's see what he can do with a bit of finance, eh?

Oh that bean burrito is fighting me.

Wednesday, April 8, 2020

Killer Crocodile II

Hey folks back again. Thought we would do a sequel to a Creature Feature we have already covered. Yes I do have some disdain for sequels but I thought this time around, I could be entertained. Granted that didn't work with the loosely linked Zombi unofficial sequels but that is for an entirely different scenario so let's see if director Giannetto De Rossi can manage this task. This is Killer Crocodile 2.

Is this the buffet? It all looks so good.

No unusual alternative titles lashed to this movies so it was a bit odd but it doesn't necessarily mean it is awful. The reappearance of Richard Anthony Crenna for this does bring comfort to the continuity. Our previous director/writer Fabrizio De Angelis (Thunder, Deadly Impact, The Manhunt, Operation Nam, Thunder II, Karate Warrior, The Overthrow, Thunder III, Karate Warrior 2, and The Last Match) is alongside with makeup artist/writer/director Giannetto De Rossi (Cy Warrior, Killer Crocodile 2 and Tummy) felt the need to have Kevin had to reprise his character. We have the atypical and corrupt land developer dumping radioactive waste in the local swamps because...plot device. Seriously, the concept of the ecosystem damage doesn't even register. We don't even have an old wizened wise man warning of said greedy developer the wrongness of his ways.

OMG! Bugs are icky!

So with the ooze dumped in the swamps ambitious journalist Liza (Debra Karr of Stingray, A Stranger Waits, Killer Crocodile 2 and Vulgar) is neck deep into trouble and is going to need some help to get this story out. Corruption, bribes and buying and selling people off would make an embarrassment and she will have to be silenced...forever. It gets goofier. Oh yes, the land in question is being redeveloped for a resort. Yeah, imagine this very area that had a gargantuan croc and there couldn't possibly be another of its kind again, could there?

Our cruise director is a bit busy and bloody.

Not Quint, Joe is also back as his bad ass croc hunter self (Ennio Girolami of The Nights of Cabiria, Fury of Achilles, The Feast of Satan, Sexy Sinners, The Last Shark, Tenebrae, 1990: The Bronx Warriors, Escape from the Bronx, Operation Nam and Sinbad of the Seven Seas) and he and Kevin both feel obligated to help Liza as she revealed another crocodile of unusual size and stature.

Fun Film Facts! No, not really.

Our director is also responsible for the SFX make-up for Fulci's Zombie and The Beyond but funnier than that, is composer Riz Ortolani of Cannibal Holocaust.

The original film and this sequel were shot back to back allowing continuity to NOT screw up.

See how that works, Hollywood?! Italy is kicking your ass...with a creature feature flick!

Okay that all aside, this film's story is almost carbon copy of the original, they even re-use a lot of the footage from the previous movie and it clearly shows. Ladies reading this, yes there is a implied rape scene. Nothing visual but I guess it just wouldn't feel lawless if they didn't add it to "spice" things up.

Is this film better than the sequel? No, it isn't. As far as a film standing on its own, it encompasses the original. It attempted its own story line but mostly hashed previous footage and per-existing characters in the hopes the huge resort story didn't end up being a plot hole. Villagers, poachers and fishermen make up the bulk of the croc's diet and steps are taken to find out 50 foot long beasty.

The practical SFX of creature, gore gags and the like are on par with the original. The story feels more convoluted than Jaws 3. Yes I said it! Jaws 3 is superior to Killer Crocodile II.

More teeth than the entire Osmond family.

Friday, March 13, 2020

Friday the 13th Part IX: The Final Friday

Well the continuity may have a problem here. Hi folks. Friday the 13^th is upon us. Well there's a Friday I hadn't covered. I have put it off long enough. Bleh. After melting him with toxic waste in the 8^th film (somehow transmogrified into a small boy) and before he was sent into space. There was to be another "Final Friday". This is Friday the 13^th Part IX: Jason Goes to Hell a.k.a. Friday the 13^th Anniversary of Jason a.k.a. Friday the 13^th Part IX: The Dark Heart of Jason Voorhees a.k.a. Friday the 13^th: Heart of Darkness and Jason Goes to Hell

Um, my head's oozing out of my mask.

With no real explanation other than the writers forgetting about part 8, Jason is not a small lad but the size of Kane Hodder and already back to his wicked ways of butchery around Crystal Lake as he stalks after smoking hotty (Julie Michaels of Roadhouse, Jason Goes to Hell, Married...with Children, Batman & Robin, Buffy the Vampire Slayer and SEAL Team) when it appears to be a sting by the FBI and holy jeebus they open up on him with assault weapons and even a grenade launcher blasting Voorhees to charcoaled chunky bits.

The End!

Okay no...not really but Hodder isn't going to be running around in his jumpsuit for some time because...we have exposition back story, establishing the Voorhees bloodline continued beyond Jason and Pamela. Yup an sister. Because? Oh why the hell not. Rather than the traditional undead mongoloid slasher, director Adam Marcus (Jason Goes to Hell: Final Friday, Let It Snow, Conspiracy, Fitz and Slade and Secret Santa)decided the body of Jason has been dead for ages and only a dark force or entity that resided in the body, waiting to be released again.

Woohoo! Jason found him a Regular Saturday Night Thang.

The morgue and surrounding guards and cops are all slaughtered in tried and true Voorhees style, leaving bits and body parts everywhere. Do we have a copycat or did Jason rise from the grave?..again?

Local anchor reporter Robert Campbell (Steven Culp of ER, JAG, Star Trek: Enterprise, The West Wing, Saving Grace, Desperate Housewives and Arrow) is doing an in-depth story of the mass murderer himself, showing the folks back home ALL THE DEAD PEOPLE on a local broadcast and even contracts a manhunter to kill Jason for the sum total of a quarter of a million dollars. Two things. 1) You just announced on the air you hired a contract killer. 2) that contract regardless if it is aimed at an undead mongoloid hillbilly, IS A FELONY!

Our manhunter himself, Creighton Duke (Steven Williams of 21 Jump Street, L.A.Law, L.A.Heat, The X-Files, DarkWolf, Stargate SG-1 and Supernatural) is poised to hunt Jason down even as that interview has been made. Yeah it will be tough to follow his trail of broken, bloody and gouged bodies laying strewn like so many rag dolls. It should be a cinch to find Voorhees except one minor detail...his body is lumped in the ravaged morgue. So who is doing all the killing?

Get off me, Gil Gerrard!!

Subplot adds a striving descendants of Voorhees, the Kimbles Diana (Erin Gray of Buck Rogers in the 25^th Century, Magnum, P.I., Code of Vengeance, Silver Spoons, Starman, Breaking Home Ties, The Princess and the Dwarf, Almost Home, Burke's Law,Baywatch, Port Charles, The Guild and Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Return) and Jessica (Kari Keegan of The Prince of Pennsylvania, Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday, Jerry Maguire, Maggie and Mind Games) trying to eek out a proper life in spite of the looming terror that is their family curse.

Yup, now we got lore. Supernatural lore. Like undead mongoloid hillbilly zombie isn't supernatural enough. Now we got a bloodline story. The darkness that makes up Jason can be reborn through one of his bloodline. While that is nutty enough; we have an alumni of Friday the 13^th: The Series, John D. LeMay (Friday the 13^th: The Series, Tour of Duty, Eddie Dodd, Sisters, Without a Map, Totally Blonde, and E-Ring) so sort of a universal crossover perhaps?

Now the nitpicks. The MPAA neutered the crap out of this flick. All of KNB Group gore effects are almost completely diminished, the nudity is mild and Kane Hodder third time at bat as Jason. Also there are 3 versions of this movie, I'm having Highlander 2: The Quickening flashbacks!!!

So we have the theatrical release which was 87 minutes of garbled mess, the 91 minutes that added a bit more gore in it and finally a whopping 130 minutes of it being completely uncut (insert penis joke) and all cells used from what I understand.

Dukey Pukey is bestowing his knowledge of Jason and his new mystical aspect to Steven (John D. LeMay) because game knows game. Or something. Don't worry fellas, there's titty as you so often demand. Yes we do get the vital element to Friday the 13^th films: horny teens, booze, nudity and elaborate death scenes.

While this is one of the more creative take away from the sequels similar creating a twist like Part V: A New Beginning; trying to break away from the stagnate of Crystal Lake inhabitants and horny teens getting gacked by unconventional means and over the top murders.

That being said, changing Jason as some malefic force of damnation, hopping from body to body creating mayhem and chaos. Creative yes but a tad late into the series to introduce a new story element like such, let alone additional unmentioned family members.

As for the burning question of Freddy's glove reaching up snatching up Voorhees' mask was a hint to New Line Cinema and Paramount scheduled to make the crossover movie; Freddy Vs Jason...a film stuck in development hell for 10 years! Not to stir up old feelings but the director of that movie didn't want Kane Hodder vs Robert Englund. Because...6'3" wasn't tall enough for that director's take.

Many of the fans had issues with the dark soul of Jason body hopping and felt it did an injustice to the franchise. I mean if you can stay tried and true to a mother avenging the death of her son, who didn't die, later replaced by a pissed off EMT and soon a crazy Tommy Jarvis; only to have that story line thrown out to resurrect Jason as a zombie then later melt him in the sewers of New York with a nightly toxic waste dump that leaves him as a dead child; well I guess you just don't care about continuity.

Is this a vital watch? Not really. You could skip it as it holds next to nothing for the franchise. Is it a fan favorite? I have heard of these "people" existing but I attribute them as believable as R.O.U.S. (Rodents of Unusual Sizes) and thus call out utter poppycock. Absurd! Risible!

Happy Spring Forward Zombie Jason Day!!!

Mhm, that is a tasty burger!

Monday, September 30, 2019

Axemas 2: Blood Slay

It's a tough life in my racket. Hey folks back again for another blog and this time around director/writer/producer/actor John Ward (Chapman's Storage: Fake Commercial, Axemas, Frames of Fear 2, and Meathook Massacre 4) has entrusted me to give his newest creation of the Axemas series a review. Will it be as enjoyable as the first? Dare we hope it surpasses the original? This is Axemas 2: Blood Slay.

A holly, jolly homicide!

Under Dark Park Films and Always Out of The Box Entertainment we open with some good VST for soundtrack and eerie chords as grumpily guy in mid-twenties is chucking the Christmas Tree when he is grappled by Uncle Kris (Drew Marvick of Astro Zombies: M4- Invaders from Cyberspace, Scared to Death, Bob Freeman: Exterminator for Hire, Get Hansel!, It Stains the Sands Red and Pool Party Massacre) and feel some Silent Night Deadly Night 2 vibes are coming our way. Hopefully not awesomely bad as Eric Freeman a.k.a. Ricky Caldwell of the Silent Night Deadly Night 2. One garbage day quote and I will wince. Well just note his death scene made me smile.

With a morning investigative report on Chapman Storage confirming the timeline that it has been one year later. Surviving girl Sarah (Ashley Campbell of Any Body Can Dance 2, Distortion, Guard Dog, The Trust, Death to False Hipsters, Axemas, Drug Z and My Mom's a Joke) feels a bit more Sydney of Scream and less Laurie of Halloween. Sarah has still been considered a suspect in these brutal murders...OF HER FRIENDS and yet the cops couldn't find enough evidence to link her to the killings. Surprised they just didn't fabricate some evidence, craft a story to fit their needs and then break for lunch.

Just want to meet a guy that doesn't want to ax murder me.

Montey Chapman of Chapman Storages(Phillip Trickey of House of Pain, Clown Motel Massacre and Axemas 2: Blood Slay) is channeling his inner Mayor Vaughn from Jaws, assuring us those weird mishaps of the year prior has just been an isolated incident, units are available to rent and it's a damn fine day...to move heavy objects.

Sarah still haunted of the ghosts of the past; seeks advice and counseling from Laura (Donna Hamblin of Mark of the Astro-Zombies, Killer Biker Chicks, Demon Haunt, Dead Ink, Sinister, Blood Mercury and Project M). The previous events are shrouding her every waking thought. Plus, dead boyfriend manifesting to creep her is really off putting. Yeah I am relatively sure those are just hallucinations. A bit of dating advice from Laura seems to put Sarah in a better frame of mind. FYI, Sarah. Don't open a conversation with, "Hi I'm Sarah and my last boyfriend was brutally ax murdered by a lunatic in a Santa costume," Pro tip!

With a jaunt to a used bookstore (the intellectuals' hunting ground, ladies) Sarah roams through the aisles in search of MAN...or possibly a good paperback. Maybe some Charlaine Harris. Who knows. Bumbling into each other, Eric (Ben Stobber of Unwritten, The Immortal Wars, Axemas 2; Blood Slay, The Immortal Wars: Resurgence, Dress Code, Art of the Dead, Reversal and Los Angeles Shark Attack) makes his move after startling Sarah with his Dickens. A Christmas Carol that is. Nothing pervy. Sheesh. Hey this easy going guy even gives her a window of opportunity to bounce if he is a boring plebeian. Rock star move, brohan!

No! Go find your own storage unit for that! Ew!

Prepping for the big date, Sarah's nervous. So begins the first dating dance!!! muahahaha!!!! No, I'm not bitter. After cocktails and dinner, Sarah opts for a night cap. The end of that puts Sarah on familiar stomping grounds. She awakes for a new night of terror and the killers (oh yes, plural) are going to take their time with Sarah and drag it out.

Did I mention some kids making their way around this place? You'd think one Santa slaying episode that happened only a year prior would be giving off hot neon light warnings, but hormones never listen. Darn you pesky kids!! Git outta my murder place!

Fate is a fickle mistress as Tara (The lovely and talented Tommie Vegas of Project M, The Trust, Date Breakers, Party Night, Nite Nite, Can I Kil You?, Virus of the Dead, Vice Squad: Las Vegas and Vice Squad: Chicago) who pulls the greater Hail Mary save, and gets Sarah on her feet. Now they only have to survive the night and run the gauntlet of this massive complex that is no doubt, locked down for the night. Sarah and Tara (Hey that rhymed!) meet up with Tara's boyfriend James (Nicholas Jackman of Party Bus to Hell, Social Girls, Classacts, Finding Sara, The Auction and Murder 4 Dummies).

Both kids are homeless and were just looking for a place to crash but now it looks like murder is filling their stockings tonight. Wow that last line was pretty cheesy. In fear of Uncle Kris, the threesome are trying to find a way to stay alive and must band together to deal with a crazy Santa.

As was previous for the original, this is logged as a short film for an anthology series. We have solid performances, over the top slasher villain, some great gore scenes and good dialogue. This manages to stay within the same old school cut to gore gag shots and actually gives off a bit of terror. With a bit of a Scream and Silent Night Deadly Night 2 theme, this 34 minutes of evil could easily be deemed substantial work. With an easy premise to follow and an environment with proper mood lighting, you could easily see this in a full length feature. Minor CGI spatters, otherwise old school blood packs and bladders. Not surprising that John Ward has kept the same momentum as the first.

He seems...less jolly.

Monday, June 10, 2019

Resident Evil 2

And I am back folks. Sorry about last week, I needed to scrounge funds for much needed services. So I attempted a poll last week and only two responded. Again I am on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram, and I will be adding more polls to vote on at a later date. As mentioned, the poll was for two survival horror games due to I haven't written on any video games in some time annnnd... I screwed up. I already reviewed Silent Hill 2. Whoops. This is Resident Evil 2.

Cheryl? oh wait, wrong franchise.

With the same if not greater love, 1998 sees the puzzles, exploration and single-player survival horror and game wise, is two months after the original. Our story lines follow Rookie Cop Leon Kennedy and college student Claire Redfield. Claire, sister of Chris Redfield is in town trying to find out the whereabouts of brother Chris. I personally own the N64 version of this.

On his first day of duty and decked out in riot gear, Leon starts his patrol, attacked by zombies and joins up with Claire on the way to Raccoon Police Department. The two decide to split up and make their way through the police station, previously an art museum they look for supplies, ammo and survivors. Chris finds and encounters Ada Wong, claiming to look for an Umbrella researcher John.

While evidence of political maneuvering, bribes and more than a handful of notes, it is pretty obvious that Umbrella Corp. Is back to its old tricks again. No hard evidence of the events with Spencer Mansion, Alpha and Bravo company of S.T.A.R.S.and all the T-Virus zombies, Chris makes his way to Europe to trace and expose Umbrella's misdoings.

That is one moody looking lesbian.

Once again, herbs of green, blue and red treat the zombie attacks, first aid bandages and first aid spray are also at the ready. Ammo, weapon mods, tank controls (D-pad or direction movement) and fixed camera angles, the mood and atmosphere is decidedly horror. With two playable characters you have scenarios with different puzzles and storylines vary. With Leon Kennedy A, Claire Redfield B, Claire Redfield A and Leon Kennedy B, allows for a different of events unfolding and each offer a unique story. Claire's storyline involves her meeting up and protecting a little girl, Sherry Birkin (Daughter of scientists William and Annette) has been left behind during the zombie outbreak.

With the same dangers of mass mutations similar to the T-Virus, the G-Virus or Golgotha developed by Birkin was attempting to give its host a regenerative property. Naturally the military applications means an unkillable soldier and an eugenics program. Twisting God's work and shocked of the horrible outcome. An massive Tyrant monster has been sent to RCPD to clean up any of the survivors so they don't get a chance to explain what truly happened and unravel the existing cover story. William Birkin near fatally wounded by Umbrella Corp mercenaries for not giving up the G-Virus, he doses himself with a large amount of the very same substance, giving his body wild levels of mutations and yup you guessed it, main boss battles.

So yes levels of creatures of the Lickers, Zombies, Plant monsters, a Tyrant known as Mr. X, things are pretty full. Now my major pet peeve is still the inexcusable need for puzzles and we have to take it as red that the architect that made Spencer Manor, clearly had a hand in deciding the museum. Still love the fact the RCPD managed to acquire the museum as some sort of tax write-off for the city.

With the remake made 21 years later and the graphics and characters look amazing, this was the version that got me truly interested in the series.

Amusing side note, George Romero directed the commercial for Biohazard 2 a.k.a. Resident Evil 2 and he also wrote a screenplay for Resident Evil film...and yet Capcom went with Paul W.S. Anderson's nonsense.

Bloody stairs you get locked up on.

Monday, May 20, 2019

Witchcraft XI: Sisters in Blood

Welcome to the new week. Well it took some doing and perusing but I finally found a copy of a sequel several fans were asking me to find. For those that don't want to read YET ANOTHER horror sequel, well make some suggestions please. For everybody else, the wait is finally over. Yes the demand for more Stephanie Beaton is on and we will see how this goes. We are to embark on another Witchcraft film. This is Witchcraft XI: Sisters in Blood.

Satan demands you motorboat me.

As many of you will recall, Lucy Lutz (Stephanie Beaton of Wicthcraft IX: Bitter Flesh, Zombie Gang Bangers, Witchcraft X: Mistress of the Craft, Monster in My Car, Eyes of the Werewolf, Witchcraft XI: Sisters in Blood and A Passion) was in London and asked by Bureau 17 to join up along with Agent Celeste after the big vampire and Satanists showdown and...well I don't think that plot line is going to connect here. But hey! Garner's back! Lutz's partner Garner (Mikul Robins of Teen Wolf, Frogtown II, Witchcraft IX: Bitter Flesh, Sexual Chemistry, Dark Secrets, My Haunted House and Opus of an Angel) are going to be busy busy as Will Spanner, Warlock and Lawyer Extraordinaire has returned!

Dayum, girl you lost...well any sex appeal.

Going on his fifth regeneration (yes that was a timelord reference) Will (James Servais of Scanner Cop, To the Ends of Time, Erotic Confessions, Madam Savant, V-World Matrix, Witchcraft XI: Sisters in Blood and Dog Story) is still with Kelly (Wendy Blair of The West Wing and Witchcraft XI: Sisters in Blood) and for some continuity issue, um they are still engaged. Yeah this engagement has been going on forsix years. Dude commit already. Director/writer Ron Ford (The Mark of Dracula, Alien Agenda: Endangered Species. Riddled with Bullets, Deadly Tales, A Passion to Kill and Deadly Scavengers) brings us back to the roots of Witchcraft, meaning there are actually witches again and yes they will try to seduce Will to the dark side and...maybe we need something new. Our movie revolves around Kelly's sister (yup didn't know she had one either) and her college shenanigans. Probably mostly beer bongs, bisexuality and learning magic, because every college girl has the Willow from Buffy experience...if it is written by a horny, basement dwelling perv and not Joss Whedon.

So Kelly's sister Colleen (Miranda Odell of Sweet Evil 2: Sapphire and Witchcraft XI: Sisters in Blood) is absorbed in the Scottish play Macbeth. Her director looks like the master from Manos: The Hands of Fate and her co-stars Maria (Lauren Ian Richards of Witchcraft XI: Sisters in Blood) and Keri (Kathleen St. Lawrence of Witchcraft XI: Sisters in Blood) want to do spells in a graveyard with a grimoire. This is somehow good for the play. WHAT?!!! How is dabbling in the black arts and I assume blood magic going by the title going to prepare you for a role in Shakespeare?! So if this was Hamlet, would they have committed incest and killed their fathers to be with their mothers???!!! Is it bad to point out that the play is happening in a Catholic college?

Well at least it ain't vampires this time, Lutz.

So our dabblers are only going to raise three witch sisters from THE DEAD!!! Yup totally reasonable and clearly something that looks good on a college transcript. Says here you're a people person, you can do Spreadsheet and you raise the dead. You're hired!... somewhere else.

So if they conjure up these dead broads they can open a gateway to Hell. Again, Catholic girls are a bit scary. A further addendum, Colleen points out how she and Kelly had fire and brimstone sermons drummed in their heads for years and this is why Kelly rebelled, fell in love with a man foretold to lead all evil on the planet and is a master warlock and...wait a minute. Is this getting goofy?

Naturally our night foray into the dark arts requires the girls to be topless. Must be a key ingredient for black magic or possibly banking on T &A selling this flick. Naaaah, I'm clearly just jealous I don't write this well. Maria is taken over by one of the sisters and gacks a moron teenage horndog so no loss there.

My polo shirt protects me from your sorcerous ways!

Once again Satan gets typecast as the corrupter of youth and the spoilers of virgins. Oh and they are supposed to open a hell gate for Abaddon. Um isn't that the Angel of Death? I admit my CDC is a bit rusty but according to Hebrew texts, Abaddon is the Angel of the Abyss. Of course New Testament also establish Abaddon as another name for Jesus after the resurrection so I am all sorts of confused on this dogma.

Enough about boobs! Where's Lutz and Garner? Surely evil is afoot! Two of the college horndogs tell Lutz and Garner that they were ogling the topless trio and then Jay got killed. So our dynamic duo go to work. Also Garner is a sexist pig now. Um character development I guess? Seriously, Lutz looks like she is inches away from smoking this little piggy. They happen to bump into Will and Kelly as they passed through the very same graveyard that is technically a CRIME SCENE and not taped off. Well I don't blame Lutz and Garner, probably lazy ass unis not doing their job.

Will states he doesn't sense any dark powers and he seems to be okay with magic again. Just need some consistency dude. And then he whips around to Kelly after our cops leave and tells her there are dark forces at play. Bro, that particular twosome are gonna be pissed you just lied to them. The hell brah? Will wants to get to Colleen before the coven has taken her over, released the demon Abaddon and open a hell gate. But don't worry, male readers. There's boobs. Yes that oh so important deciding factor YOU ALWAYS ask me about. Lady readers, well you know I didn't write, direct or film any of this. I can only apologize for boobs so many times.

Okay the creature effects, the wraith like witches is actually good. The energy beams from eyes however, yeah not so good. Glad to see Lutz and Garner back but still not a lot for them to do. Current Will is lacking in real charisma, the fights are kind of impressive and once again a coven or sect of warlocks is trying to turn him to the dark side. IT DOESN'T WORK!!! Will's left a trail of bodies of those that have tried and failed ultimately so stop trying to entice him. Between offers of booty, power and enough witchy orgy badness he can digest, Will has been loyal to Kelly through and through. Face it! He's not going to lead your armies of darkness and shroud the world in endless night or whatever the script wants this time.

Stephanie's Lutz is a hard nosed bad ass cop again, guns blazing and getting into danger. I wonder how many shots fired forms they fill out each movie. Garner is taking her lead and he is still questioning if magic is real??? DUDE! You have fought satanists, vampires and now witnessing a demon coming up from out of the ground. Even Scully is saying, "Duh dumbass."

So overall the acting is fair, the witches three are well topless for a lot of it. Sex scenes fly by quickly and the sound quality was a vast improvement over ten. Will is constantly being tempted to his darker nature. Shouldn't one of these sect leaders just invite him for tea and open a dialogue instead of throwing magic floozies at him all the time? Not the greatest follow-up but I was glad that Garner and Will managed to make it back in and no vampires this time.

Oh you didn't just say that to Garner, Will!

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