Now pages are pretty cool. This is mine, last updated 3 weeks, 6 days ago.
Working from home for over 9 years now, from Lisboa, Portugal.
You know, I wish the act of typing words onto HTML came easier these days. There's this sense that each one has to be wrung out, twisting my neurons into a pretzel to squeeze out even a single sentence that means a damn thing. I'm not sure whether this speaks to exhaustion, a mind occupied with "more important things" (work, money, the endless pursuit of self-care - implying the act of writing isn't itself one of the highest forms of self-care, one that is not entirely for the self either, though it can certainly just be that) or just a whole lot of rust that needs to be picked at.
To say that there's nothing going on now would be a disservice, but the things that are going on are hard to talk about. So let me list them out somewhat elliptically:
- my entire identity has been undergoing what I could alternatively describe as a metamorphosis or an arrival at the truth that was there all along. This process has been painfully, ruefully slow for someone approaching 40 and just wanting to get on with whatever life there's left in me
- my health has been put under a metaphorical (and maybe literal?) microscope, and the news weren't great. Nothing too damning or irreversible, just a reminder that things can slide and that you can't just live any old life - there are paths shorter than others, and I'm not really keen on taking them
- work has been hard for so many reasons, only some of them tied up in the all-consuming, i-promise-not-to-dwell-on-it, topic of AI. To say I'm not sure where I'll be or what I'll be doing 10, 5, 2? years from now is an understatament
Some things have been great:
- spending as much time as possible with my kid, who has just turned 5 and is a force to be reckoned with
- getting back into reading
- discovering all the Sonic games I missed in the, jesus, 10 to 15 years I stayed away from the franchise? Anyway, Sonic Unleashed is actually pretty good