1. |
NOW
02:59
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INTRO:
You said I get you higher than the ceiling oh
I said I'll believe it when I see it
Up and down, you’re messing with my feelings
Tell me now or I won't let you keep it
VERSE:
Drifting, i got
my hands all tied up
with the rope you placed around my neck
pictures of me
a fool in the light
but it’s not my fault
it’s my fight
PRECHORUS:
holy in the dark, a saintlike sound
and if you want me bright
you better leave now
CHORUS:
NOW NOW NOW
don’t get too close to me
NOW NOW NOW
you won’t like what you see
SECOND VERSE:
sorry, i’m not
the delicate one
i put up a silhouette
what you can’t see
i know that you want
to pull me apart me apart at the seams
but i’m lonely in the heart
watch me breakdown
is it pretty now?
CHORUS:
don’t get too close to me
you won’t like what you see
NOW NOW NOW
don’t get too close to me
NOW NOW NOW
you won’t like what you see
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2. |
everything at once
03:02
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VERSE:
Hate when you ask how I’m doing
I know that you’re just assuming
I’m better now, not bleeding out
Get outta bed on a good day
Lately that’s all I can do, hey
I go through hell, to hide myself
PRECHORUS:
I think about new ways to hurt me
But don’t want my mother to see
It’s not that I feel undeserving
Just blame it on the chemistry
That’s why
CHORUS:
I can’t cry
Im too anxious
Restless mind
I can’t shake this
Said I’m fine
but we both know I’m faking
I’m not feeling numb,
I’m just feeling everything at once
SECOND VERSE:
Whatever I do I can’t slow down
Please don’t leave me alone now
Cuz when I stop, my demons talk
I’m coming off apathetic
I play it off like it’s an aesthetic
Clearly I care too much, but I’m fooling everyone
PRECHORUS:
I think about new ways to hurt me
But don’t want my mother to see
It’s not that I feel undeserving
Just blame it on the chemistry
That’s why
CHORUS:
I can’t cry
Im too anxious
Restless mind
I can’t shake this
Said I’m fine
but we both know I’m faking
I’m not feeling numb,
I’m just feeling everything at once
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3. |
Blackout
02:48
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|
VERSE:
oh they tried their best to warn me (tried to warn me)
that you would only turn me blue (turn me blue)
but nothing could’ve stopped me (nothing could stop me)
from falling right into you
PRECHORUS:
hold me down
i’ll do anything you tell me to
CHORUS:
baby when i black out
i’m not coming back down
i’ve always been my own worst enemy
blame it on my own anxiety
SECOND VERSE:
I can barely be around you (be around you)
its the hardest thing i’ll ever do (ever do)
is learn to live without you (live without you)
cause i’ve got better things to do
PRECHORUS:
let me out
after everything you’ve put me through
CHORUS:
baby when i black out
i’m not coming back down
i’ve always been my own worst enemy
blame it on my own anxiety
BRIDGE:
i’m losing my magic
nothing can calm me down
in love with my madness
until I drown
CHORUS:
baby when i black out
i’m not coming back down
i’ve always been my own worst enemy
blame it on my own anxiety
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4. |
Hands Off
03:08
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HANDS OFF LYRICS
VERSE:
all of my friends
don’t know where i’ve been
cause i’m getting good at lying
maybe i’m in denial
I feel too much
but it’s never enough
I’m coming out of hiding
nobody else invited
PRECHORUS:
you know i’ve been getting to know a new side of myself
what can you do?
can’t even get through the night
yeah I could use some help
CHORUS:
i’d be down for sweet talk
so much I could say
do whatever you want
we could misbehave
baby leave the light on
i wanna see your face
keep your eyes on me
keep your eyes on me
but your hands off
SECOND VERSE:
don’t get ahead of yourself
I know what you want
yeah I know what you’re implying
there’s something about the timing
so don’t get too close
we’re taking it slow
you touch me like your impatient
it’s getting complicated
PRECHORUS:
you know i’ve been getting to know a new side of myself
what can you do?
I can’t even get through the night
yeah I could use some help
CHORUS:
i’d be down for sweet talk
so much I could say
do whatever you want
we could misbehave
baby leave the light on
i wanna see your face
keep your eyes on me
keep your eyes on me
but your hands off
BRIDGE:
cause I want, I want control
but you take, you take
and I never know
what to say, what to say
so I don’t, so I don’t….
CHORUS:
i’d be down for sweet talk
so much I could say
do whatever you want
we could misbehave
baby leave the light on
i wanna see your face
keep your eyes on me
keep your eyes on me
but your hands off
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5. |
VICES
02:57
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[Verse 1]
Feel like I'm just passing by
It's not love, it's just a guy
And it's got me feeling right for the night
But in the morning when he's gone
I'm alone with all my thoughts
So I gotta drink 'em up til I'm numb
[Pre-Chorus]
And ooh, it's never enough
Pass me the cup, got nowhere to run
So pour me another one
I'm taking it all, I'm getting lost
I'm making a fool of myself with all these
[Chorus]
Vices, I really don't know why I'm like this
And I just don't care what the price is
'Cause I need these vices (Oh)
If it's not drugs, it's drinks
If it's not drinks, it's things
If it's not things, it's people, places I don't wanna be
These vices
[Verse 2]
Is it okay I'm not okay?
I don't sleep too much these days
And I hate being awake when the sun's out
Lock my door and shut the blinds
They can't see my bloodshot eyes
I got habits I can't hide in the light
[Pre-Chorus]
And oh, it's never enough
Pass me the cup, got nowhere to run
So pour me another one
I'm taking it all, I'm getting lost
I'm making a fool of myself with all these
[Chorus]
Vices, I really don't know why I'm like this
And I just don't care what the price is
'Cause I need these vices (Oh)
If it's not drugs, it's drinks
If it's not drinks, it's things
If it's not things, it's people, places I don't wanna be
These vices
And I just don't care what the price is
I'm tryna fill up the silence with all these vices (Oh)
[Bridge]
Burning through a cigarette
Got somebody in my bed
But I'm still just in my head, in my head
And all the signs are turning red
And I'm starting to regret, and I'm starting to regret, to regret these
[Chorus]
Vices, I really don't know why I'm like this
And I just don't care what the price is
'Cause I need these vices (Oh)
If it's not drugs, it's drinks
If it's not drinks, it's things
If it's not things, it's people, places I don't wanna be
These vices
And I just don't care what the price is
I'm tryna fill up the silence with all these vices (Oh)
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6. |
Blue Hour
03:37
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VERSE:
I feel so high
not being high anymore
left my ties and bloodshot eyes
all over the floor
i felt so low
yeah i’ve been here before
now i’m taking back what’s mine
it never was yours
PRECHORUS:
like i’m forever fifteen
Oklahoma City
everybody grew up so fast
you wouldn’t believe
all the trouble i’ve seen,
oh no i’m never coming back
CHORUS:
i’m looking for my
blue, blue hour
i’m looking for my
blue, blue hour
I should be so cold
stories never told
it’s the strangest feeling
with all this new, new power
SECOND VERSE:
I don’t know why
why it took me so long
wasted all this time on temporary love
bring me back to life
back to where I belong
cause its worth the sacrifice to finally be strong
PRECHORUS:
like i’m forever fifteen
Oklahoma City
everybody grew up so fast
you wouldn’t believe
all the trouble i’ve seen,
oh no i’m never coming back
CHORUS:
i’m looking for my
blue, blue hour
i’m looking for my
blue, blue hour
I should be so cold
stories never told
it’s the strangest feeling
with all this new, new power
BRIDGE:
i’ve been searching forever,
look what I found
i’m diving deeper inside myself
all of this treasure lying around
I see it now
i’m looking for my blue, blue hour
i’m looking for my blue, blue hour
i’m looking for my blue, blue hour
CHORUS:
i’m looking for my
blue, blue hour
I should be so cold
stories never told
it’s the strangest feeling
with all this new, new power
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7. |
Hungover
03:20
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VERSE:
blue eyes
wasted
midnight
basement
let’s pretend we’re somewhere else
PRECHORUS:
how did I, how did I get here?
don’t think I can, think I can stay here
i’m making friends with all of my nightmares
i’ll pour one out for everyone i’ve been
CHORUS:
say goodbye to the comedown
wasted nights
you only leave me hungover over you
you only leave me hungover over you
yeah
sold me lies by the bottle
every time
you only leave me hungover over you
you only leave me hungover over you
VERSE 2:
double vision
fake friends
cheap gin
i’m a danger to myself
PRECHORUS:
how did I, how did I get here?
don’t think I can, think I can stay here
i’m making friends with all of my nightmares
i’ll pour one out for everyone i’ve been
CHORUS:
say goodbye to the comedown
wasted nights
you only leave me hungover over you
you only leave me hungover over you
yeah
sold me lies by the bottle
every time
you only leave me hungover over you
you only leave me hungover over you
BRIDGE:
and in the morning
I don’t wanna be myself
so I tried to drown myself
maybe it’s a cry for help
CHORUS:
say goodbye to the comedown
wasted nights
you only leave me hungover over you
you only leave me hungover over you
yeah
sold me lies by the bottle
every time
you only leave me hungover over you
you only leave me hungover over you
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8. |
R.I.F.P.
03:51
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VERSE:
Wish that I could say
I’m not dancing on your grave
But thinking bout the shit you put me through
To hell with you
So long and goodnight
Traded darkness for the light
Cause everything I had I gave to you
I wanted to
CHORUS:
Rest in fucking peace to all my issues
I’d be lying if I had to say I miss you
When I‘m with you I feel numb
I still taste you on my tongue
But now I tell myself I’ve have enough
Rest in fucking peace to all my problems
Cause reaching for the bottle couldn’t solve them
If the damage has been done
I can’t be the only one
So I just tell myself I’ve had enough
SECOND VERSE:
Bittersweet relief
Without you next to me
Funny how it all just disappears
When you’re not here
Faking self control
Like everyone I know
Funny how they all just sing along
Your siren song
CHORUS:
Rest in fucking peace to all my issues
I’d be lying if I had to say I miss you
When I‘m with you I feel numb
I still taste you on my tongue
But now I tell myself I’ve have enough
Rest in fucking peace to all my problems
Cause reaching for the bottle couldn’t solve them
If the damage has been done
I can’t be the only one
So I just tell myself I’ve had enough
BRIDGE:
Since you went away
I haven’t needed saving
They say I’m being brave
Cause I’m good without you lately
Since you went away
I haven’t needed saving
They say I’m being brave
Cause I’m good without you lately
CHORUS:
Rest in fucking peace to all my issues
I’d be lying if I had to say I miss you
When I‘m with you I feel numb
I still taste you on my tongue
But now I tell myself I’ve have enough
Rest in fucking peace to all my problems
Cause reaching for the bottle couldn’t solve them
If the damage has been done
I can’t be the only one
So I just tell myself I’ve had enough
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9. |
oh god
03:05
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VERSE:
oh god
what did I do
i’m out of control again
woke up
blacker then blue
probably lost a friend
PRECHORUS:
my throats so fucking dry from saying sorry
wake up a different person in the morning
forget every lesson daddy taught me
i never learn, I just make it worse
CHORUS:
oh god, what have I done?
what did I say last night?
did I play the fool
did I make you believe
I was having a good time?
cause i’ve been drinking all of my emotions
until i’m sick until i’m broken
oh god, what have I done?
what have I done?
SECOND VERSE:
oh no, should’ve stayed home
but it’s hard to be alone sometimes
dark thoughts
got me so low
i’d do anything to clear my mind
CHORUS:
oh god, what have I done?
what did I say last night?
did I play the fool
did I make you believe
I was having a good time?
cause i’ve been drinking all of my emotions
until i’m sick until i’m broken
oh god, what have I done?
what have I done?
bridge:
wasted, all the nights I missed
poison on my lips, all alone
i’m done
i’m done hiding it
i’m done fighting it
on my own
oh god what have I done
what did I say last night
did I play the fool
did I make you believe
I was having a good time
cause i’ve been drinking all of my emotions
until i’m sick until i’m broken
oh god
what have I done?
what have I done?
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10. |
sober interlude
01:11
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nice to meet you
never seen you here before
you look familiar
have we ever met before?
I can’t remember the person I was
back in november covered in blood
but there’s nothing left now
I wish that there was
now I’m sober
I can feel everything
all over
you kept on numbing me
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11. |
SPIRAL
02:55
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VERSE:
somebody’s gonna love me
even when I don’t love myself
somebody’s thinking of me
even when I don’t trust myself
some nights I get lonely
sometimes I get worried
if i’m writing this story
all wrong
PRECHORUS:
You’ve been suffering
yeah, I know what it’s like
to feel the bitter end
You’re not alone tonight
CHORUS:
even when i’m upside down
don’t know where to go
when i’m lost and found
even when i’m upside down
I know I’ll be just fine
even when i’m upside down
I cant even feel
i’m so numb right now
even when i’m upside down
I know I’ll be alright
SECOND VERSE:
I don’t know when it started
always felt this way, and it feels so low
call me heavy hearted
i’ve been overthinking cause I can’t let go
with nobody to talk to
i’ve always been see through
I know you feel it too know you feel it too
i know
PRECHORUS:
You’ve been suffering
yeah, I know what it’s like
to feel the bitter end
You’re not alone tonight
CHORUS:
even when i’m upside down
don’t know where to go
when i’m lost and found
even when i’m upside down
I know I’ll be just fine
even when i’m upside down
I cant even feel
i’m so numb right now
even when i’m upside down
I know I’ll be alright
OUTRO:
oh i’m not afraid to spiral
oh it’s all about the cycle
know i’ll be alright
won’t give up the fight
know i’ll make it out
on the other side
i’m not afraid to spiral
oh it’s all about the cycle
know i’ll be alright
won’t give up the fight
know i’ll make it out
on the other side
i’m not afraid to spiral
oh it’s all about the cycle
know i’ll be alright
won’t give up the fight
know i’ll make it out
on the other side
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12. |
crash
03:17
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CRASH LYRICS
CHORUS:
crash
over the edge, over the edge
crash
not just pretend, not just pretend
crash
never again, never again
that’s what I tell myself
i’m looking for something else
VERSE:
don’t know what I came here for
sitting on the ocean floor
and I can’t even swim
cause I can’t feel my limbs
will it always feel this way?
if i’m not numb I feel afraid
i’m barely keeping up
will I be enough?
PRECHORUS:
baby just dive
freefall in
baby don’t hide
let it begin
Oh, let it begin
And I don’t wanna
CHORUS:
crash
over the edge, over the edge
crash
not just pretend, not just pretend
crash
never again, never again
that’s what I tell myself
i’m looking for something else
SECOND VERSE:
I left you with the chemicals
I put you on a pedestal
alone in paradise
you were always right
PRECHORUS:
you said
baby just dive
freefall in
baby don’t hide
let it begin
let it begin
And I don’t wanna…
CHORUS:
crash
over the edge, over the edge (i’m not crashing)
crash
not just pretend, not just pretend (I don’t wanna)
crash
never again, never again (i’m not crashing)
that’s what I tell myself
i’m looking for something else
OUTRO:
I am attracted to the light
And at times it can be destructive
But sometimes change is required to grow
And right after sunset,
the sky is painted a deep, rich shade of blue
That reminds me why I’m still here
And why I shouldn’t give up
Because without all the pain I’ve felt,
I wouldn’t appreciate the beauty that came afterwards
This is my blue hour
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mothica Brooklyn, New York
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