Maverix Musings

Don’t you just hate how people have preconceived ideas about other people?
Make judgments or form opinions by mere sight without having had the opportunity to get to know the subject of their opinions.

As a Malay woman who wears a tudung (headscarf), I’ve been subject to several ‘preconceived ideas’ and funnily enough, once they’ve gotten to know me, these people tend to confess their initial prejudice.

A recent situation reflects this situation clearly.

At the end of an induction program, team members were asked to say something positive about one another. A young Malay fellow said this to me:

“You’re very friendly and intelligent. And you speak very good English. Biasalakan, bila kita tengok perempuan pakai tudung, mesti kita ingat English dia tak terror kan.”

Uh. What’s with the ‘kita’?
You mean, bila YOU tengok perempuan pakai tudung, YOU ingat English dia tak terror, okay.
Don’t go ‘kita’ pulak, speak for yourself.

But actually, I’m not being fair to the guy.
He was actually a nice fellow and it's not like I’ve never had lots of comments like these.

There were situations where people seemed to shun me because they thought they wouldn’t be able to have a nice conversation with a tudung-wearing Malay girl. They probably thought all I could talk about was Mawi or the best way to cook masak lemak cili padi. The prejudice is that Malay girls in tudung are crazy about celebrities and always exchange recipes. God forbid they know ANYTHING about current affairs.

Even in professional situations, I’ve found myself being sidelined. I’d step into the meeting room with my secretary (who has long, curly hair and wears short black skirts) and the clients automatically turn towards her for consultation. And once they are introduced to me, their actual lawyer, you can practically HEAR their heart sink.
How could this tudung-wearing girl possibly be our lawyer?

I’d often just grit my teeth, give them a smile and start the meeting. The moment they hear me speak, SUDDENLY they’re interested in this tudung-wearing Malay girl. Their wary looks turn to relief and also barely hidden astonishment.

Oh My GOD, she actually can speak English!
And Oh My God, she actually KNOWS stuff about law.
And OH MY GOD, she’s actually quite funny!

It really irks me how people automatically assume that a ‘very Melayu looking Muslim girl’ can’t speak proper English.

My personal favourite is this conversation I had with a fellow I met at a legal convention.

“Eh, your English very good ah.”

“Thank you”
(I’ve found that this is the easiest and most polite answer. I tried sarcastic remarks but it just sounded rude. And most of the time, they never got it anyway.”

“You born in Malaysia ah?”

“Yup.”

“Oh. You study overseas ah?”

“Nope.”

“Where you study?”

“UIA”

“Oh... So your father or mother mixed ah?”

Here I am with my utmost Melayu look and this guy asks if my parents are of mixed race just because he needs to justify why this Malay girl speaks ‘good English’.

For the record:
- I was born and raised in Malaysia.
- I was fully-educated here in Malaysia.
- My parents are both Malays; Dad from Johor, Mom from Perak.
- My husband is not a Mat Salleh, he is from Kelantan.

My “English is very good” probably because I was exposed to the language at a very young age. I spent most of my childhood reading books in the English Language and watching children shows in the English Language. Enid Blyton and Sesame Street get some of the credit. And my mother spoke to me in proper English from birth. And in school, I hung-out with friends who were from different races and the language that connected us was, you got it, English.

I know most of you mean “Wahhh, you speak really good English” as a compliment and I thank you for it but sometimes, the amazement in which you utter that compliment diminishes it’s worth, for some reason.

I don’t need to have blond highlights in my hair, wear short skirts, wear peach lipgloss and have a glamour name like Sasha in order to speak good English.

I can be a simple, tudung-wearing Malay girl who speaks good English.

It is never too late to give up our prejudices.
Henry David Thoreau (1817 - 1862), 'Economy,' Walden, 1854

Note: I have had to do away with my old Haloscan commenting system. It was too much trouble to maintain. Although I'm sad to have had to sacrifice all the old comments, it's just one of those things that just HAD to be done. As always, I welcome comments so please, help yourselves :)