It’s opening the hood where I start sweating behind the knees.

I just want someone to look at me the same way this guy looks at his onion.

Briefs versus bikinis for the ladies.

I studied history and have been telling people this for over a decade but most people think I’m batshit crazy.

My Grandma’s 90 year old cast iron looks like that and I have no idea how to season it.

It was the first time I had ever heard the word. There are too many slurs out there.

Can’t put the genie back in the bottle, idiots.

Prison rehab is vomiting on the floor while having seizures. Poor people don’t get help.

Enforcing marital law is also in the cards, sadly.

My entire high school mourned Mr Rogers’ passing. 4,000 people and the hallways were almost quiet.

He’d be an improvement.

A Shakespearean comedy is just a play about regular people. His dramas were about the nobility.

Victims are always held to higher standards.

They mean civil rights. Our rights are being taken away.

Private police will just force you out at that point.