Maybe it’s a real uptick, maybe they always did and now I’m just noticing it. I apparently look somewhat ambiguous, because I’ve had people ask if I’m Asian, Lebanese, or Israeli, all unprompted. I’m none of these. I’m quarter Hispanic. I never felt Hispanic growing up, owed in large part to my upbringing by conservative parents. Raised Baptist, never learned Spanish until high school. I can’t and don’t claim a Hispanic experience.
So what do I do when a white customer calls me ‘señor’?
How do I respond when I’m on a first date with a woman and she asks about an immigrant experience I don’t have?
When my white mom complains that I look like a cholo, do I treat that as just racism or racism against me, personally?
When I look at my cousins who can reasonably claim to be Hispanic, I feel some anxiety, like I’m missing something.
Just a bunch of weird insecurity. Hell, even the insecurity about it feels white.
I think that’s a common experience for many mixed race people, especially among those that don’t really feel a connection with the minority part of their identity.
One thing I think Oli London doesn’t get enough flack for is that he completely poisoned the concept of racial identity. People now mostly think of it as something comparable to gender identity, as if race and sex/gender are basically the same, but I see it as more of a sense of belonging/connection.
I’m half white British and half Asian (mostly Chinese with some Thai and Malay). For me, I feel a connection to my British and Chinese diaspora heritage as my parents are still alive and present in my life, but mixed race people who were raised by single parents often identify differently. I also think my Thai (one great grandparent) and Malay (one great great grandparent) relatives are too distant for me to claim to be one of them. But there is of course no clear dividing line for what percentage of a certain race someone has to be in order to feel a connection with that part of their heritage.
The same goes for trans-racial families, another thing Oli London ruined. It originally referred to a family of parents with a different race to their adopted children. A white or Asian child adopted into a black or Hispanic family and treated as one of their own by their community is obviously going to feel a sense of connection even if it doesn’t make then black or Hispanic.