Yeah, this is my main criticism with that passage from Whipping Girl: I have also experienced that kind of sentiment over and over again, and it always came from TME trans people, i have never seen that behavior from nonbinary transfems and i have not once seen it directed at binary trans men. In the cases were that kind of discourse pops up in trans spaces, it’s always transmasc enbies attacking trans women. So i wouldn’t call it “binary-phobia”, i do disagree with that wording. It’s just transmisogyny. But yes, it does happen. That does not mean exorsexism and truscum shit isn’t a problem, but i haven’t seen any of that anywhere in Whipping Girl, in spite of the text being 20 years old.

Moreover, this line of thinking is a lot more common among cis people. That’s not to say that cis people aren’t crushingly exorsexist, because they are, but they will shamelessly use the existence of “third genders” in other cultures to tell trans women we are problematic and conservative for medically transitioning or for claiming womanhood instead of allowing ourselves to be relegated to a third gender so that cissies can keep treating us as not-women. Whipping Girl in fact has an entire chapter about that, and keeps bringing up examples of cis people appropriating and weaponizing cherrypicked nonbinary experiences against trans women as “evidence” why nobody should medically transition. It’s a standard tactic of terfs to tell trans women we are “reinforcing restrictive views of femininity” by claiming binary womanhood. And yes, ofc they will immediately do a 180 as soon as they are confronted with actual nonbinary people, but that’s terfs for ya, they have no actual convictions.

Your approach leads to individualist reductionism. It refuses to engage with the systemic factors at play and instead vaguely gestures at a hollowed-out, meaningless definition of “transmisogyny for everybody” that obfuscates the root causes of transmisogynist opression and eradicates those most affected by it from the discourse by equating us with a cis guy who has decided to wear a skirt today. Sorry for being so direct, but i have no patience to mince words about my erasure.

Firstly, yes, cis women, GNC men and transmasc nonbinary people can also be targeted by “misdirected” transmisogyny (a problematic term in my opinion, as it implies that transmisogyny hitting me is aimed at the correct target). However, attacking a cis woman or other TME person by insinuating they are transfeminine only works because trans women exist as a hypermarginalized group that is ok to bully, harass and attack in any way people please. Claiming that a person is secretly a trans woman is marking her as a target for transmisogynists. It would not work if trans women in themselves were not subject to a particularly vile and unique form of discrimination.

Secondly, TME people as a group are frequently better protected than TMA people. This frequently gives them better legal recourse in a structurally transphobic justice system, it will make a lot of people wave away the attacks against them as ridiculous, it also usually means they have a more robust support network and a better material position. No, not every TME person has better ressources than any trans woman, but the disproportionate economic marginalization of trans women is a sad statistical fact, the gender pay gap affects us even more than cis women, we are much more likely to be homeless, are more likely to be isolated from our families, to have lost friends and so on and so forth.

The latter point is were your “we have to judge this on a purely indicidual basis” approach betrays its liberalism: You refuse to recognize transfeminized people as a class. In your approach, nothing means anything and the only thing you gain from it is not making trans men and transmasc nonbinary people uncomfortable when they lack the ability to reckon their relative privilege. I have written several paragraphs about the relativity of that privilege and it is somehow still not enough for you.

Edit: Also yes, telling GNC trans women they are TME would indeed be absurd, which is why literally nobody is doing that.

It was in an old thread and i decided to not link it because the person i was arguing with seemed really upset. I do not mean this thread as a callout of anybody, i want to clear up misconceptions and not air out dirty laundry.

I’m not familiar with it, but if this is about blaming transfems of all people for alienating eggs, it’s honestly infuriating somebody has the gall to come up with that.

I really hope the targeted harrassment you’re referencing didn’t take place on hexbear

Not at all. There was one person i had an argument with on here and idk, i guess i was kinda standoffish, but i gotta be honest: Me being called “unhinged” or “hysteric” or “bitchy” every time i word things strongly, when pre transition the same behavior was perfectly fine, is a huge reason why i did this writeup. And as happens so often, that did come from another trans woman.

That’s an important part i forgot: Just as with misogyny in general, TMA and TME aren’t so much descriptors of who engages in this behavior, but who is a viable target for it.

Happy international women’s day, please use it to bully a misogynist or two.

I’m not gonna apologize or edit anything when you call me unhinged for speaking up about transmisogyny and abusive behavior. I will make an effortpost explaining why we need TMA / TME discourse instead, this woman hating hellsite site clearly needs it.

I genuinely don’t understand why you’re saying this now a year later

Because i know better by now and i had to learn the hard way. I used to be … not as dismissive as you, but still dismissive of TMA / TME discourse and then the TME trans people i used to defend did what assimilationist queer people clinging to the most relative, limited privilege always do - pull up the ladder behind them. Can’t go into too much detail here without doxxing myself, but we had no choice but to cut ties and organize for ourselves. Because we are evil transbian seperatists. Or actually because they really, really hate women who get in their way and they live in a system that gives them the privilege to harm at least the women who are in the same community as them. Not the precious white cis women, but we are fair game. And they know that. And they use it to their advantage.

And no, this isn’t only a “niche online thing.” I mean, sure, the transmisogynist mobs on tumblr are part of the same systemic issue, but i am actually talking about my experience with irl communities here. And i know for a fact that our local scene isn’t alone in that. This is structural. It is systemic. It happens over and over again, because patriarchy supports and actively encourages behavior like singling out and dogpiling women who make a fuss. Silencing women is the entire point of discrediting TMA / TME discourse. A discourse, btw, which your linked post completely and entirely misrepresents to a point where i have to assume it is intentional. Because there is literally nothing in that enormous effortpost engaging with the actual substance of what TMA or TME means, zero understanding of core principles of intersectionality. Literally anything beyond the introductory “well ofc transmisogyny is real” disclaimer lip service is outlandish, exaggerated, distorted bullshit like “baeddels claim that all opression is a form of transmisogyny and that trans men do not suffer from transphobia” or similar cherrypicked out of context nonsense that in the few cases were it is sourced at all more than half of the time comes from total nobody accounts who do not even have more than the default placeholder PFPs. That’s what a hit piece looks like, girl. And that’s even before this dumb motherfucking loser shows his entire ass and reveals he cannot bear the fact that t4t doesn’t mean any of us will fuck him. Sorry, but no man is in a position to talk like that about “transbian seperatism”, making even trans spaces unsafe for us and then getting mad that we will band together with other trans women because literally anybody else treats us like shit is … well it is exactly what i expect from a man. Nice how that chauvinistic dung eater proves my point.

How are you buying into something like that? If you post that kid of stuff on my watch, yes, you will get called out and i am honestly worried that this was up for a year and nobody asked you wtf you have been thinking by linking to this horrible incel-adjacent rubbish.

I can - and gladly will - delete that post if you delete the post i was originally replying to. You are directly justifying extensive transmisogynist hate campaigns in that. You may not be aware of that, i give you the benefit of the doubt on that, but it is what these nonsense claims about “baeddelism” are about: persecuting trans women by targeted harassment, mass reporting, false accusations and weaponizing transphobic moderation practices against them. The man you are linking to is deliberately misrepresenting such gamergate style transmisogynist online lynch mobs. I will not stop pushing back against transmisogynist hate speech like that until you have deleted it.

To clarify: “Baeddelism” isn’t real. It is a misrepresantation of legitimate callouts of entitled, discriminatory behavior by TME people (usually cis people, but in some cases also trans men and transmasculine nonbinary people). Saying there is a “transmisandrist” ideology perpetuated by trans women is the exact same type of victim blaming as made-up claims of “anti white racism”. Transfeminism has always been about adressing trans misogyny in general and, within trans communities themselves, pointing out the equally sad and simple fact that while transmasculine people do suffer massively from transphobia, they are not subject to the intersection between transphobia and misogyny. And that they, as people who have access to conditional male privilege, frequently copy patriarchal strucutres of silencing women, especially trans women. I have experienced this shit myself. Trans men can be every bit as awful as all other men, and they use the same methods to enact gender-specific violence against trans women as cis men. Within trans communities, i have seen the exact same tactics that “men’s right acitivists” and other antifeminist actors utilize in society at large, the same dogpiling and reversal of attacker and victim, the same accusations of hysteria and irrationality, the same reminders that we have stepped out of line and should now better shut up. I’ve lost access to support networks because of this, i have been systematically bullied out of trans spaces by dudes and you come here and justify the kind of shit that has played out on tumblr alredy.

Why would i not call you an antifeminist pick me when you act like that? “Insane amount of harassment transmasc accounts on tumblr went through”, what a load of bs. You’re full-on victim blaming.

Seeing stuff like this and some of the discourse/responses around it reminds me that I should really do an effort-post about baeddelism and all the fucking “tma/tme” brainworms that emerge from this new kind of terf rethoric

Coming back to this threat after a year, i can say with 100% conviction that any critique of TMA / TME discourse is antifeminist, misogynist garbage of the highest calibre and frequently tied up with downright kiwifarms tier harassment campaigns of trans women. Yes, this includes the insidious bad faith garbage you are linking here. Fuck that little Andrew Tate you are using as a source, please delete this pile of disinfo.

Hey there,

i haven’t posted under this handle for a while. I was around since the last days of the old sub, back when i was still an egg, switched to this account after i realized i’m trans, which jfc has been almost 5 years ago by now. I’ve come such a long way since then. And i’ve gone through so many changes. Most of them good ones. Some, idk.

This community absolutely changed the way i post. It also radicalized me, often to the point were i had to deradicalize myself a bit to still be able to interact with normal people without seeming like a totally unhinged person. And i gotta admit, i haven’t always acted nicely to others in the years behind me. Some of it was due to the pressure of transitioning, some due to trauma from my youth that has made me a hit and run kinda person when i feel threatened, and yes, some of it has been accquired by being a part of this crowd here and arguing politics online. Maybe you can relate to that, i definitely relate to how you ended up.

I’ve recently left a local, irl community in bad blood because we had one too many struggle sessions. I have good friends who have my back, and we’re building something new as an alternative to the missing stairs shitshow the liberal tone policing tenderqueers are running, and it’s gonna be beautiful and true and it will be a home for all the trans girls that are too wild for the petit bourgoise assimilationists who think they can call all the shots. And that’s worth it. But still, the vitriol has been flowing a lot and that has earned me actual enemies. Like, i go to the bar and there’s people who look at me with hate or with outright panic in their eyes because of things i’ve said. And that fucking hurts, even when these for the most part aren’t the people i care about, and even when i know that i’m all the more respected for speaking up against injustice in other parts of the community. Turns out being an unyielding death dyke makes you a polarizing figure.

What i’m getting at is, being a poster can fuck you up badly. It can change how you relate to people. I look back on some struggle sessions i was involved in here, i don’t like what i did there. I’ve been toxic, i’ve been heartless. That was worse on hexbear than in places were i knew most people irl, but some of it seeped into how i behaved to the worst libs i know personally. And even tho they probably deserve it, not everybody gets that, and even when people get that, there’s a callousness behind all that behavior that i’m not always comfortable with. I think we should both take that as a warning shot, look clearly and honestly at who we are. Look where we need to change, even when it’s gradual changes, finetuning if you will.

That isn’t why i’ve been so inactive lately, i’m frankly just not too happy with the direction this site has taken ever since we federated. And when i take that clear, honest look i’ve talked about at the site in general, i find that being less involved than i used to be is the right choice. But there’s lessons i take from all this that will continue to guide my actions, my praxis, the understanding of my purpose in these bitter times.

Thank you and farewell, Nakoichi.

brings out estradiole vial and injection gun

I can make it lesbian.

I hate to inform you that Tom of Finland made some of his first gay experiences with Wehrmacht soldiers during WW2 and that this had a pretty big influence on his uniform kink.

I mean that’s a pretty damn high bar to clear, but the score is at least as good as you’d expect.

I love them, but i’d have nothing to wear these with. If you have a flapper dress and some art deco-ish purse, that would look amazing tho.

I didn’t make that up on the fly, i have more than once putten it in the “Reason” field when i reported you in the past. Never for anything zionism-related, i must add. We’re on the same page on that issue.

Yeah absolutely.

They have a history of covid minimization and being an outspoken swerf and generally never pass a vibe check when they enter discussions in queer spaces on this site. They just can’t help but be weird around queer, kinky and poly people. Yes, that’s vaguely reactionary, and that only being vague in their reactionary sentiment isn’t a problem to you speaks volumes about what this place has become.

Allow the emoji, unban Z, then immediately ban them again for their extended history of being a reactionary piece of shit.

• exempts forced labor in the penal system from the forced labor people are supposed to be free from

• accounts for the bourgeois right to theft known as “property rights” but does not account for the rights to housing, food, healthcare, education etc.

• accounts for freedom of movement, unless you want to enter a country

• accounts for freedom of religion, expression and association, but not for freedom from discrimination

• reproductive freedoms and anything gender-related mysteriously absent entirely

See how little it takes to fully measure the rights of our opressors and completely eclipse the rights only needed by the opressed.