i display toxic masculinity too but no one cares since i'm a woman

Mega Froslass

Z.A.T.O.: I Love the World and Everything In It (Computer) (2025)

hi. im really sick - have a huge surgery coming up in march. my wheelchair, glasses, and like most of the clothes i actually wear are stranded 2 hours down south and i have no way of getting there. i can't go down with my mom while also knowing that i dont have enough to get back up here on my own because she'll likely refuse to drive me back up here (where my doctors are) and then i will be trapped again. i need at least like $250 to make sure that that doesn't happen - i need to be near my care team to survive right now even though i don't have stable housing up here either. i would just leave it and wait longer to pick it up but my wheelchair, glasses, and like all the clothes i actually wear are down there. so. kinda stuck between a rock and a hard place.

id really appreciate some help with this. i am struggling so so much not to drown right now and i dont have much strength left in me to keep coming up for air and treading water, let alone get to shore

pypal | cshapp | kof1 | friends vnmo im still fcking locked out

Current provocative take I'm sharing that relates somewhat to current news is that to a certain extent thought that some of the "Oh I'm just white, we need to make sure to center underprivileged voices instead" stuff is just depression-adjacent issues, inability to conceive of yourself as someone who harm done to matters.

This is less provacative and more just true.

There's a strong rift between people who say that stuff because they know it's expected but don't particularly hew to it and people who are expressing this view of themselves.

While I do agree that these types do exist, I don't think its very true - most people are hewing to this stuff out of a combination of "just plain believing in its rightness" or are putting their heads down to get along, sucking up, etc. I don't think depression is a huge motive because the "we need to center underprivileged voices" thing is never portrayed as just like a transparent power transfer; it is always premised on the "majority" being powerful in some way, and thus in need of redress. The terminally depressed struggle very hard to identify as being so powerful - the message doesn't really hit with how this stuff typically manifests.

(You see the depression thing come up much more in the gender/dating wars ofc, though that is a bit of a different topic)

Maybe if you look at it in dry, pure theory. The way christianity in supposed to be about love & peace but that's not what many believers do in practice.

But if you look at how those talking points are actually used, the emotional connotations are of "bad" or "generic", particularly when you get ppl venting. Often it's very needed venting about real injustice, but it gets collectivized/generalized : "Fuck my genuinely awful abusive boss/parent/ex/teacher" -> "Fuck all men/white people/ heteros /abled etc."

There's ppl with certain character structures who, especially when they're in a bad place, are prone to internalizing guilt or claims of their "badness", and make the false equivalence that "powerful" in any way = ontologically evil reptiloid/ have some fear of power & responsibility and/or a psychological need to be the underdog.

Shrugging off or realizing something isn't about you or not taking it personally requires a certain psychological robustness that some ppl down on their luck don't have.

This is why one should never make generalizations about large groups; First it's just innacurate the real world is always more complex;

But second there are always stray bullets. A genuine sexist asshole just fires a generalization right back, their arrogance protects them from pain (or learning); But some sad lonely youngster whose self-esteem is already in the toilet (& who might well experience discrimination in some other way: disabled, trans, poor, mentally ill etc.) going to see that "bear vs man" nonsense & just feel like disgusting unwanted scum.

There's sometimes some desperate "I'm one of the good ones, please please don't hate me" energy to this type of talk (or of rightheous dogmatism from others) & that's what the right picks up on when slandering ppl as self-hating or virtue signalling. (often because they've already dismissed what the person is actually saying/ put them in some box that means they don't have to listen & listening more on a 'lizard brain' level)

Now let's not get into a false dochotomy here as if the only option is to totally coddle sexists, racists etc. & never upset anyone even one bit.

But the fact is, Human beings have feelings; You can't ignore that fact in the name of Ideological Correctness or Moral purity. Or I guess you can, but it will not help your cause.

And if to join your group ppl need to submit to a humiliating hazing ritual, fewer will do so.

This is incredibly well put, and my only caveat would be that I don't think it is limited to people who are "down on their luck" (although of course this doesn't help); I think American society and to some extent global society encourage this character structure in *everybody* which is why the Republicans have embraced it so whole-heartedly.

Like, actually this is a really strong caveat: I think that genuine sexist and racist assholes very often have *exactly* this character structure.

Elon Musk is the richest man in the world and one of the most powerful living men.

And he is really clearly motivated by a *profound* inability to shrug things off or not take them personally and a genuine fear of his own power.

He responds to this by demanding a world in which his power is simultaneously never questioned but also never acknowledged.

Like, when this psychology curdles you end up with people who simultaneously have the need to be the underdog in their own narrative, while also aggressively, even violently attempting to build a world where people are constrained from calling them powerful.

Which doesn't work because if you can constrain people that way, you obviously *are* powerful and the people around you notice it.

Which in turn only creates a more frantic rejection of claims of your own power.

Not taking something personally involves a *genuine* sense that your own personal power is both just and deserved.

You absolutely cannot build this sense of self by simply demanding that people pretend that unjust uses of power are in fact innocent and harmless.

I can't emphasize this enough, besides being morally unjust it simply doesn't work.

But by the same token you cannot build this sense of self by telling people that it is virtuous to relinquish power, or that it is natural for people to hate you or resent you for your power and that it is therefore your responsibility to find ways to make them think of you as less powerful.

“when this psychology curdles you end up with people who simultaneously have the need to be the underdog in their own narrative, while also aggressively, even violently attempting to build a world where people are constrained from calling them powerful.”

tumblr and the left is also loaded to the gills with this specific thing

Sarah Moon - Lingerie by Janet Reger (The Sunday Times Magazine 1974)

bruce ❤️

4am perfec t size for put decisions in to make! 4am very Clear thinking and Comfort no need sleep soundly make decisions at 4am. Put Decision In 4am. no problems ever at 4 am because good Shape and Support for tired brain weak of struggle make sad. Afouram awake yes a place for a thought put action in 4am can trust middle of night for giveing good love to brain. friend 4am

The Birds that Fly at Dusk: audio, pt. 2

(art as always by @vardasvapors)

Today I have three chapters: two, three, and four.

Chapter two, It's fine:

Chapter three, You new here?:

Chapter four, It could be worse:

Previously in this series:

Link to Google Drive containing all audio for The Stars that Rise at Dawn and its prequel short story, Stalking and the Glory of God.

The Birds that Fly at Dusk: part one (prologue and chapter one)

Jesse Zuo (Chinese, 2000) - Untitled (2024)

officially completely out of savings 👍🏽 have about $23 to my name. i need toiletries and life necessities and to eat + im still unhoused and this temporary housing situation is really expensive so i need to start saving to cover the rent i have that's due in a couple weeks. on top of this, health is still really rough and will be for the foreeable future - surgery coming up in march and im hoping itll help but ill need extra assistance during recovery and may need to get temporary caregiving (need it in General but can't access it rn). please help if you can im a bit less stressed than before but still very stressed and its not helping on the health front 🫠

pypal | cshapp | kof1 | my friend's vmo bc im still locked out of mine 😭 tysm sarke