50 Funny, Clean Christian Jokes for Kids and Adults

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Family-friendly Christian humor about church, the Bible, & more

Co-authored by Bailey Bujnosek, BA

Last Updated: March 12, 2025 Fact Checked

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Short Christian Jokes

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For Kids

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For Adults

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Church Jokes

Make your friends, family, or congregation laugh by telling them one of these hilarious Christian jokes. From puns about Bible figures to classic jokes about God and church, there’s a zinger for every sense of humor. Plus, the jokes are clean, making them appropriate for all ages. Read on to enjoy some faith-based laughs.

Best Funny, Clean Christian Jokes

Who was the smartest man in the Bible? Abraham. He knew a Lot.
How do angels greet each other? They say halo.
Why didn’t Jonah trust the ocean? There was something fishy about it.
I went for a run with my Bible. Now my Psalms are sweaty.

Section 1 of 4:

Short Christian Jokes

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Tell a short Christian joke for a quick laugh. As they say, brevity is the soul of wit. Use one of these short and sweet Christian jokes to make your friends and family smile. Share them at church or text them any day of the week.
- Do you need a boat? I Noah guy.^{[1]
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- When did God create Adam? A little before eve (Eve).
- Was it the apple that got us in trouble in Eden? No, it was the pair (pear) on the ground.
- Where was Solomon’s temple? On the side of his head.
- How did Joseph make his coffee? Hebrew-ed it.
- How did God cure Moses’ headache? He gave him two tablets.
- How do you read the gospel? You Luke (look) at it.
- What do you call a sleepwalking nun? A roamin’ Catholic.
- I went for a run with my Bible. Now my Psalms are sweaty.
- Who was the smartest man in the Bible? Abraham, because he knew a Lot.
- Did Eve have a date with Adam? No, only an apple.
- How do pastors like their orange juice? With pulp-it.
- Why did Moses cross the Red Sea? To get to the other side.
- How long did Cain hate his brother? As long as he was Abel.

Section 2 of 4:

Christian Jokes for Kids

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Entertain your kids with cute Christian jokes and puns. Your children might not know every figure in the Bible, but they’re probably familiar with Adam and Eve, Jesus, and the story of Noah’s ark. Make them laugh by sharing one of these kid-friendly Christian jokes.
- What animal did Noah find hard to trust on his ark? The cheetah! (Sounds like "cheater.")
- Why did the sponge go to church? It was hole-y.^{[2]
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- Why couldn’t the Israelites enter the Promised Land at first? Because it wasn’t the pinky-Promised Land.
- Why didn’t Noah go fishing? He only had two worms on the ark.
- How do angels greet each other? They say halo.
- Who’s the fastest runner in the Bible? Adam. He was the first in the human race.
- If Mary had Jesus, and Jesus was a lamb, does that mean Mary had a little lamb?
- What did Adam say the day before Christmas? It’s Christmas, Eve!
- Why didn’t they play cards on the ark? Noah was always standing on the deck.
- What do they call pastors in Germany? German Shepherds.
- What did Jesus ask Peter as he was walking on water? Water you waiting for?
- Why didn’t Jonah trust the ocean? There was something fishy about it.
- What’s the best place to get ice cream after church? Sundae school.

Section 3 of 4:

Christian Jokes for Adults

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Bond over clean Christian jokes for adults. Pick your favorite from this roundup of Christian jokes that touch on topics like technology, finances, and exercise—with a silly Biblical spin, of course. Tell them at your weekly Bible study or text them to your prayer group.
- What did God say after He created Adam? “I can do better than that.” So God created woman.^{[3]
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- What kind of man was Boaz before he married? A Ruth-less man.
- What was Adam and Eve’s least favorite fast food place? Raising Cane’s.
- Who was the first person to download something from a cloud to two tablets? Moses.
- How do we know Peter was a rich fisherman? By his net income.
- Who was the funniest person in the Bible? Samson—he brought the house down.
- Why do people read the Bible more when they’re older? They’re cramming for their final exam.
- Someone stole my diary and my Bible. They died today. My thoughts and prayers are with their family.
- Why are there no Hondas in the Bible? Jesus never spoke of his own Accord.
- What did Adam tell his children when they asked why he no longer lived in Eden? Your mother ate us out of house and home!
- How do you make Holy Water? Take regular water and boil the devil out of it.
- How many Christians does it take to change a lightbulb? We don’t know—they’re still praying for the light to come back on.
- They say you should exercise daily. That’s why I walk with the Lord every day.

Section 4 of 4:

Funny Church Jokes

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Share a church-specific joke with your congregation. As a church leader, it never hurts to inject a little humor into your sermon. Start Sunday morning by telling a Christian joke or funny story that will resonate with people of the same faith.
- A stranger asked the pastor to pray for their hearing. He put his hands on their ears and prayed. Then, he asked if their hearing was better. The stranger told him they wouldn’t know until Monday when they went to court and appeared before the judge!
- A Sunday school teacher asked a child, “Why do we have to be quiet in church?” The child replied, “Because people are sleeping.”
- A pastor received a complaint letter from a member of his congregation. He removed the letter from the envelope. There was one word on it: “Fool!” “Hmm,” the pastor said, “they signed the letter, but what’s the complaint?”
- A person was stranded on an island for years before being rescued. Their rescuers noticed they had built three huts. “One was my house, and one was my church,” the person told them. They asked what the third hut was for. “That was my old church, before I changed denominations.”
- Why were the birds upset? The pastor gave the church’s nest egg away to the poor.
- At Sunday school, a teacher told their students about the commandment to honor your father and mother. Then they asked, “Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?” An eager student answered: “Thou shall not kill.”
- A child was in church with their mother when they started to feel sick. “Can we leave now?” They asked. “No,” their mother said. “But I’m going to throw up,” the child insisted. Their mother told them to go throw up outside behind a bush. The child left and returned a few moments later. “How did you go outside so fast?” their mother asked. “I didn’t have to go outside,” the child said. “There’s a box in the lobby that says ‘For The Sick.’”
- What do you get when you cross the Easter Bunny and a stressed-out pastor? An Easter basket case.
- A child was late to Sunday school for the first time. The teacher asked them if anything was wrong. “No,” the child said, “I wanted to go fishing, but my dad told me I needed to go to church.” The teacher was impressed. They asked the child if the father had explained why it was important to go to church instead of going fishing. “Yes, ma’am,” the child said. “It’s because there’s not enough bait for the both of us.”
- On Sunday, a mother woke up her son and told him it was time to go to church. “I’m not going to church today,” he said. “Why not?” she asked. He said, “Two reasons. The people there don’t like me and I don’t like them.” She replied, “I’ll give you two better reasons why you should go. First, you’re sixty years old. Second, you’re the pastor!”
- A pastor wanted to skip church. They told their assistant they were sick. Then they drove to a golf course in another town where no one would see them. They teed off at the first hole and a huge gust of wind came, pushing the ball across the green for a hole in one. In Heaven, an angel asked God, “Why did you move the ball?” God smiled and replied, “Who’s he going to tell?”
- A woman told her pastor, “I’m so sorry my husband walked out of your sermon.” “It did confuse me,” the pastor replied. “He meant no disrespect,” she said. “He’s been sleepwalking ever since he was a child.”
- A pastor was repainting their church. They started to run out of paint, so they decided to add some paint thinner to the can. They continued painting, but noticed the thinned paint looked different. They wondered aloud what to do. A voice came from the sky and said, “Repaint and thin no more!” (Repent and sin no more!)