Here's how I predict the day I finally see The Great Gatsby will go: I'll watch it. I'll love it. Upon exiting the theater, I'll realize, in horror, that the real world is dull and ugly and none of us are dressed up enough! I'll go home and wrap myself in my best silk robe and loll around my bed mourning this fact. Then I'll realize it's not a silk robe at all. It's a Snuggie. Because I don't own a silk robe, but I do own a Snuggie. And this sad revelation will seal the deal: I've got to...
