Faisal_KK

So apparently, our lead is a "close-hand compact trained" elite operative; which, in Exterritorial language, means she's professionally qualified to get beat up in every single scene.

You'd think someone with elite combat skills would, I don't know... win a fight? Nope. She gets tossed around like a yoga mat in a tornado. Doors hit her. People hit her. Even emotionally unstable janitors seem to overpower her. At one point I genuinely thought the vending machine was going to win.

This movie tries so hard to be Flightplan meets Fractured, but ends up feeling like it was directed by a sleep-deprived AI trained on conspiracy theories and 2005 airport security footage. It builds suspense by having everyone act suspicious and vague for no reason, even the coffee guy looks like he's hiding state secrets.

The plot twists come at you like, "Surprise! Nothing made sense because... trauma!" And you're left sitting there thinking, "Wait, didn't she break someone's arm in the first five minutes? What happened to that energy?" Oh, right; the plot beat it out of her.

In short: this is a thriller that forgets the thrill part and doubles down on confusion. Watch it only if you're into seeing action heroes lose every fight and plotlines that collapse faster than a folding chair.

If you ever wondered what it would feel like to be mansplained a spy mission for 3 hours by five different people at once; congrats, this movie is your personal hell. Mission: Impossible - Dead Reckoning (or whatever overcooked name they gave it this time) is less "impossible mission" and more "recycled plot with dramatic whispers."

The entire movie is a TED Talk on "How to Ruin Suspense 101." Every scene is basically a group huddle where someone urgently says, "We need to get the key!" followed by someone else saying, "The key to what?" and another genius adds, "To stop The Entity!! Then someone gasps and adds, "But we need the poison... to stop the device... to control the algorithm... to destroy the system... to protect free will?" Bro, just unplug the Wi-Fi.

Tom Cruise runs a lot, because that's what he does. The rest of the cast stares dramatically into midair, while parroting dialogue like, "If we don't do this now, we might never be able to not undo what's already been done before it happens."

The villain? Basically ChatGPT with a grudge. The stakes? World-ending, as always. The tension? Nonexistent, because every moment is spelled out like the movie doesn't trust us with basic cognitive skills. It's like someone found the old Mission: Impossible script, spilled a pumpkin spice latte on it, and then shot it in slow motion.

You'll leave the theater exhausted, confused, and questioning your life choices. But hey, at least the theme song still slaps. One star for the soundtrack and Tom Cruise-everything else self-destructed in five seconds.

So apparently, The Weeknd woke up one day and said, "You know what? I don't talk much in real life, but let me star in a whole movie." And now here we are watching him act; I couldn't tell if he was acting or just socially anxious for two hours straight.

And Jenna? I still don't know if she's playing a crazy obsessed fan or is it a Netflix rom-com called "Clueless and Confused." Either way, she missed the mark like she was blindfolded in a windstorm.

Then there's the music. I was like is this still the movie or did a Spotify ad-free session just start???

In conclusion: This movie is what happens when a legendary singer tries to act, and a professional actress doesnt know how to.

3/10 strictly for The Weeknd's voice... which we should've just listened to on an album instead.