Tom; doesn't trust our basic cognitive skills
If you ever wondered what it would feel like to be mansplained a spy mission for 3 hours by five different people at once; congrats, this movie is your personal hell. Mission: Impossible - Dead Reckoning (or whatever overcooked name they gave it this time) is less "impossible mission" and more "recycled plot with dramatic whispers."
The entire movie is a TED Talk on "How to Ruin Suspense 101." Every scene is basically a group huddle where someone urgently says, "We need to get the key!" followed by someone else saying, "The key to what?" and another genius adds, "To stop The Entity!! Then someone gasps and adds, "But we need the poison... to stop the device... to control the algorithm... to destroy the system... to protect free will?" Bro, just unplug the Wi-Fi.
Tom Cruise runs a lot, because that's what he does. The rest of the cast stares dramatically into midair, while parroting dialogue like, "If we don't do this now, we might never be able to not undo what's already been done before it happens."
The villain? Basically ChatGPT with a grudge. The stakes? World-ending, as always. The tension? Nonexistent, because every moment is spelled out like the movie doesn't trust us with basic cognitive skills. It's like someone found the old Mission: Impossible script, spilled a pumpkin spice latte on it, and then shot it in slow motion.
You'll leave the theater exhausted, confused, and questioning your life choices. But hey, at least the theme song still slaps. One star for the soundtrack and Tom Cruise-everything else self-destructed in five seconds.
The entire movie is a TED Talk on "How to Ruin Suspense 101." Every scene is basically a group huddle where someone urgently says, "We need to get the key!" followed by someone else saying, "The key to what?" and another genius adds, "To stop The Entity!! Then someone gasps and adds, "But we need the poison... to stop the device... to control the algorithm... to destroy the system... to protect free will?" Bro, just unplug the Wi-Fi.
Tom Cruise runs a lot, because that's what he does. The rest of the cast stares dramatically into midair, while parroting dialogue like, "If we don't do this now, we might never be able to not undo what's already been done before it happens."
The villain? Basically ChatGPT with a grudge. The stakes? World-ending, as always. The tension? Nonexistent, because every moment is spelled out like the movie doesn't trust us with basic cognitive skills. It's like someone found the old Mission: Impossible script, spilled a pumpkin spice latte on it, and then shot it in slow motion.
You'll leave the theater exhausted, confused, and questioning your life choices. But hey, at least the theme song still slaps. One star for the soundtrack and Tom Cruise-everything else self-destructed in five seconds.
- Faisal_KK
- May 22, 2025