Reviews
Mama (2013)
Beautiful
From a horror perspective, I found this movie to be beautiful on so many levels. The visuals are fantastic. The story is enthralling. The sound design and sound effects are pristine. Also, Jessica Chastain. Lol.
But the most beautiful part is the horror. For a big horror fan like myself, I was mesmerized by the horror elements. The creepiness level is through the roof, giving me goosebumps from how unsettled I was feeling. Everything looks so perfectly scary. And it made me jump about 20 times.
On top of all this, the movie flexes its creativity muscles with so many unique scenes and memorable moments. These are things that could have been told in a basic/passable way. But they show it artistically, elevating everything. The best example is a flashback sequence.
I also love how the entire runtime is filled with horror. We've seen so many movies give us a quick opening horror sequence of little consequence, then make us wait so long before we get to anything juicy. This is filled with substance and stays juicy throughout.
But the thing that takes it to another level for me is the emotional investment and payoff. It affected me, in the best way a movie can. I LOVE this movie. Not sure how I missed it.
(1 viewing, 6/23/2025)
Cyborg (1989)
I like this WORLD! WORLD! WORLD!
If you're a movie fiend like me, you probably enjoy watching bad movies to laugh at them. This is one of the most successful examples. On a normal rating scale, it's an easy 1 star, absolutely atrocious on every level. But on the "SoBad" scale, it's an 8.
It took maybe 30 seconds into the runtime before I was laughing so hard that I had to pause the movie. The entirety is filled with moments that had me dying laughing, so astonished by the extent of the terribleness.
The acting is abysmal. The dialogue is despicable. The ADR is laughable. The fight scenes are hilariously slow, awful and useless. The story is nonsense.
But the funniest part is how much they scream randomly for no reason. Like in the middle of a fight, repeated screams. All I kept imagining is the director yelling to the actors, "more screaming!"
Cyborg is a strong recommend to anyone looking for something to laugh at, or to riff on with a group of friends.
(1 viewing, 6/17/2025)
28 Years Later (2025)
New levels of disappointment
I remember watching 28 weeks later in 2007, loving it, and being ECSTATIC at the chaos we may see in a third installment. After 18 years, this is what they give us? Let's do a comparison.
-28 Weeks gave us a bigger cast with significantly more story and intrigue, especially when it comes to the father leaving his wife to die in the opening scene and how that comes into play. 28 Years scales back to a tiny cast with minimal story and several subplots that go nowhere.
-28 Weeks has one of my all-time favorite opening scenes, probably top 10 ever. It's intense and heartbreaking. I sometimes rewatch the opening scene alone. 28 Years has a rushed opening scene that feels pointless.
-28 Weeks shows the infected as terrifying with blood-filled eyes and an excellent representation of rage incarnate. 28 Years turns them gross and nasty, reminding me of hill people from something like The Hills Have Eyes. And it seems obsessed with showing male frontal nudity.
-28 Weeks has several types of action and horror scenes. The horror is done amazingly with unbelievably suspenseful moments. 28 Years later is zero scary. ZERO.
-28 Weeks has an incredible musical score. 28 Years has an AWFUL musical score.
-28 Weeks has an amazing ending. 28 Years' ending made me scratch my head.
I basically disliked every direction 28 Years took. There are so many questionable moments or things that make you wonder, "what was the point of that?" And characters seem to disappear for extended portions of the movie.
I haven't been this disappointed in a long time.
(1 viewing, opening Thursday EMX 6/19/2025)
How to Train Your Dragon (2025)
Fresh-eyed opinion
I have never seen the original animated trilogy, so this review will not be a comparison. I am also an adult who doesn't normally go for family movies. Having said that, this is about as good as they come. My subjective rating is seven stars, but if I were to scale it "for a family movie," it would be more like nine stars.
The visuals are amazing. The flying scenes are exhilarating. Most of the comedy works. I like the cast, especially Gerard Butler. He has a couple moments that had me cracking up, as well as some serious moments where he could flex his acting talent.
The only downsides for me are (1) a slow start, but as soon as the relationship begins between Hiccup and Toothless, it was smooth sailing. And (2) the whole "we're untrained vikings joking around while fighting dragons that will murder us" probably works better in the animated version. It makes it feel unserious in live action. But to my surprise, that dissipates as the movie goes on. There are major stakes, serious moments, and high intensity later in the movie. It borders on epic.
I had an awesome time with this movie. If you are looking for a family movie, this is a must see, especially in IMAX since it has an expanded aspect ratio on IMAX screens.
(1 viewing, early screening IMAX 6/11/2025)
Ballerina (2025)
A solid entry
I had a good time with this movie overall. The action scenes are all good with a couple that stand out and gave me goosebumps. Those two scenes are absolutely on the level of the action in John Wick Chapters 1, 2 and 3. Chapter 4 is on a different level and I wasn't expecting it to reach those heights.
The music is awesome. It's visually pleasing. There is lots of creativity with the action scenes, making them more memorable.
At the same time, I wasn't fully engaged like I should have been. It's fun but feels a little more like a throwaway movie. There are a few very questionable moments that seem to do more with the writing. Like why an assassin with a ridiculously high kill count is so opposed to killing someone. Or why a highly trained/skilled assassin just watches a fight and allows themself to be snuck up on.
Even with those flaws, it was still a good time and is enhanced by premium screens. Larger image, louder speakers.
(1 viewing, early screening UltraScreen 6/4/2025)
Dangerous Animals (2025)
What a nice surprise
I saw an early screening of Dangerous Animals without watching a trailer or knowing anything about it. When it started, it felt like it was going to be one of those super low-budget movies that feels so limited and never reaches the heights afforded by bigger budget movies. Luckily I was wrong.
I thoroughly enjoyed this movie for the entire runtime. The horror/thriller elements are done well. You can feel the tension and savor the suspense. Several moments made my jaw drop.
I've been a Jai Courtney hater for a while after his roles in Terminator 5, Die Hard 5 and Suicide Squad. But I LOVE his performance in this movie. Not only is it the best acting I've seen from him, he is legitimately scary as this character.
Overall I had a great time with this movie and would recommend it to any genre fans. And it's more enjoyable the less you know going in.
(1 viewing, early screening 6/3/2025)
The Life of Chuck (2024)
If you like movies that make you contemplate existence...
If you like movies that make you think about life, that make you contemplate existence, you will very much enjoy this. I personally don't normally go for movies like that (it was this week's secret movie selection), but I would say The Life of Chuck is about as good as they come.
It's heavily dialogue-based with several long monologues or narrations. But they are fairly interesting and engaging. I did feel a little bored but it was more because I felt no escalation leading to a climax. The entire runtime feels like a steady, slow pace. Interesting but tame.
It's generally well-made with lots of good performances and some pretty unusual and unique ideas. Your enjoyment will depend on whether you normally like these types of movies. I didn't mind watching it, but I wouldn't again.
(1 viewing, Mystery Movie Monday early screening 6/2/2025)
Bring Her Back (2025)
Nasty does NOT equal scary
It's possible there are people out there who enjoy a horror subgenre in which the entirety of the horror comes from being gross and nasty. I am not one of them.
And just to be clear, I am not sensitive, I love horror movies, and I strongly prefer them to have an R-rating. I just got done praising Final Destination: Bloodlines for having the gnarliest kills of the series. I love when movies push the limits to the extreme (The Substance!).
But if the entire purpose of your movie is to gross me out, with no real reasoning behind it, I will not enjoy it. Bring Her Back is nasty for nasty's sake, trying so hard to shock you. I wasn't bothered by it, I was just disappointed that's all it had to offer.
I was not engaged in the story. I predicted everything. I was extremely bored. I just wanted it to end. I left the theater annoyed. Bring my time back.
(1 viewing, early screening Mystery Movie Monday 5/19/2025)
Mission: Impossible - The Final Reckoning (2025)
If you could see the look of disappointment on my face leaving the theater
SPOILERS AHEAD
It's not as disappointing as the conclusion to Game of Thrones, but if I made a list of most disappointing conclusions to a long-running series, this would be on it.
The biggest problem for me: the second biggest set piece is the underwater submarine scene. There is about 25 minutes with zero dialogue. I like the idea of focusing on the images, music and suspense without talking. But the scene has to be enthralling. And it wasn't for me. It was just a lot of swimming.
At one point, I literally thought, "Alright enough of this, let's get to the next scene." Which is sad because I know how much effort they put into making this look real, using mostly practical effects like spinning hallways (a la Inception). But it just drags.
Combine that with a 20-ish minute slower part before and after, and you have about an hour in the middle where I could feel myself slowly becoming less engaged.
And the cherry on top, the submarine scene ends with an absolute "are you kidding me" moment. Even if you ignore the pressure and all the other problems with swimming from the bottom of the ocean to the surface, he does it without an air tank. They skip past like it took a few minutes to reach the surface.
It would take at least 30 minutes, and that's if it wasn't even that deep. It would take nearly two hours from the deepest. And there are a handful of other questionable parts and things that don't make sense.
Not one action scene is better than ANY of the scenes from Fallout. Not one action scene would be on my top 10 of the Mission: Impossible franchise (maybe not in the top 15). Even the best sequence, the plane chase during the climax (which I liked), was already done in the climax of Fallout. Helicopters instead of planes, and it's ten times better.
The explanations of what needs to be done and how hard it would be sounds more and more... made up. Overly complicated without much creativity. And of course we spend a bunch of time on new side characters involving the president and her generals. It's SOOOO pointless and could have been removed from the movie without changing anything.
I also found it hilarious that they try to make it seem like the president or her generals actually care about civilian casualties. I could see Ethan Hunt and his team caring. But the rest just makes it feel like fantasy land. And don't get me started on the idea to nuke your own people so that other countries aren't as mad when you nuke them. What????
They try to conclude the series with a LONG goodbye scene, but I felt zero emotional payoff. And this is coming from someone who watched the entire series before this movie, and before the last one. I was already invested in the characters. It goes to show how unengaged I was.
Tangent: Stop putting spoilers on posters!!! I already avoid watching trailers since they spoil everything (I literally stand outside the auditorium until the movie starts). But this is the third movie this year where the poster shows a spoiler from the climax or even the final scene (Final Destination: Bloodlines, and Captain America: Brave New World). It makes the entire scene less exciting if we know what's going to happen.
(1 viewing, opening Thursday IMAX 5/22/2025)
Final Destination: Bloodlines (2025)
When you do it right
My friends all complain about too many sequels and remakes. I argue that if you do it right, if you put care into it, anything can be good. Final Destination: Bloodlines is a great example of this. It doesn't feel like a cash-grab or something trying to capitalize on name recognition.
As much as I enjoy this series, I wouldn't necessarily call them "good movies" as I would "fun horror flicks." Bloodlines feels like a step up in most technical aspects like directing and sound design. Even the performances which I would say are just solid, are miles ahead of the CW-level acting from the rest of this series (Mary Elizabeth Winstead was the only exception).
They do a good job expanding the premise and story so it's not just the same thing again. They keep teasing you and playing with your emotions, building awesome tension and suspense. I also laughed a lot, sometimes at clever humor, other times at the carnage...
The carnage... best kills of the entire series. I am NOT sensitive, yet it had me squirming in my seat, dropping my jaw and even jumping a few times. Not from jump scares, but from an OMG moment.
Bloodlines is my favorite of the series. This is how you do a sequel/remake/requel. Studios need to learn that if you actually try to make something good instead of just trying to make some money, you may actually succeed at both.
(1 viewing, opening Thursday IMAX 5/15/2025)
Hurry Up Tomorrow (2025)
Lacking substance
You are significantly more likely to enjoy this movie if any of the following are true: You are a Jenna Ortega stan. You love The Weeknd and his music. You like ethereal movies where metaphors and symbolism are the main draw. You don't mind visual storytelling with minimal actual story.
None of the above are true for me. I think Jenna Ortega is a highly talented actress and does not disappoint with this performance. The Weeknd also does a good job, although it's hard to tell since he's playing himself. And they are two of the realest celebrities out there, never afraid to stand up for what's right.
As for the movie overall, I found it overly slow and pretty boring. The story is super basic and could have been told in half the time. The visuals are cool but feel pointless. It will really depend on each viewer if the visuals and music are enough to make this an enjoyable experience.
(1 viewing, early screening UltraScreen 5/14/2025)
Fight or Flight (2024)
FUN!
Fight or Flight is a perfect example of a fun movie. So, what makes a fun action flick? Let's explore.
First, you have to have good pacing. Things need to move, plot points need to happen frequently, slow parts/character moments need to be relatively short. This movie succeeds.
Second, the action needs to be on the crazy side, a bit over-the-top. No holding back, no cowardly PG-13 rating. Blood and gore are a plus. And a cherry on top would be if the action is filmed clearly, easy for the viewer to see. This movie succeeds.
Third, add some humor, preferably organic to the premise as opposed to inserting random jokes. If the tone of the movie is bloody, then use the bloodiness for humor. Make me laugh at the extent of the carnage. This movie succeeds.
Josh Hartnett does a great job in this role, especially with the humor. I had an awesome time with this movie and would watch it again.
(1 viewing, 5/5/2025)
Thunderbolts* (2025)
First half vs second half
This movie opens with an absolutely beautiful fight scene that gave me goosebumps. I was also majorly entertained by the lowkey hilarious Yelena and the highkey (?) hilarious Alexei. I was full-volume laughing frequently. And I already liked each of the individual superheroes that are coming together from past movies.
That was the first half. Then it takes a steady nosedive. It becomes heavily tropey, more like a template movie than something original. It starts feeling cartoonish. The stakes disappear. You don't feel like anyone is in real danger. This is partly because of repeated stupid moments and questionable parts.
It continues to nosedive with a severely underwhelming climax. I was not engaged or invested. When they wanted me to feel something I felt nothing. And the ending is completely laughable.
My headline for Cap 4 was "R. I. P. MCU." Although Thunderbolts is better, it seems like I wasn't wrong.
(1 viewing, opening Friday IMAX 5/2/2025)
Clown in a Cornfield (2025)
Garbage
I may be in the minority, but I found Clown in a Cornfield to be terrible. Every single aspect is extremely weak. The whole thing feels off, like an imitation of something better.
As a horror fan, the horror elements severely underwhelmed me. I didn't find it creepy or suspenseful. The jump scare attempts made me jump exactly zero times. Most of them are so abrupt and not built up properly.
The characters are all tropey and annoying. There are a few successful comedic attempts, but the rest are cringe-inducing. You can see how hard they are trying to be clever and meta. It makes the failed attempts even worse.
The "mystery" is so predictable and obvious. About halfway through the movie, you will know with 100% certainty. There is no other possible explanation.
It's my own fault for falling for the "From the producers of Smile" line on the poster. Producers are NOT indicative of quality. I should know better.
The only thing I will remember this movie for is introducing us to Katie Douglas. She seems to have that "it" factor. I think we'll be seeing a lot more of her.
(1 viewing, early screening Mystery Movie Monday 4/28/2025)
The Woman in the Yard (2025)
Affecting
If you describe a movie as a metaphorical illustration of struggles with grief and depression, I would say, "No thanks, that's not my kind of movie." But I heard some good things about it, so I gave it a shot.
The movie is generally well-made from a technical perspective. It feels like a high quality film. But the horror elements didn't do a lot for me. And it's not the type of entertainment I would choose.
None of that stopped it from hitting me like an emotional sledge hammer. The way it does that illustration I described is masterful. It made me feel what it wanted me to feel. And I'd be lying if I said tears were not present.
That continued with a perfect song during the end credits. Unless you're going through it yourself, it's nearly impossible to know how it feels. But if you want to try, watch this movie.
(1 viewing, 4/26/2025)
Freaky Tales (2024)
Out of nowhere!
I'm generally not a huge fan of anthology movies. But Freaky Tales is a great example of how to do it right. Even though they are still individual stories, they don't feel as disconnected as most anthology segments.
The first two segments are solidly enjoyable. The third stands out above the previous two, helped by some excellent casting choices. And then the fourth segment happens. It was already awesome before it skyrockets with a scene I absolutely adore. I couldn't help but clap when it finished.
They perfectly execute the tone they are going for. I loved the music selection. I laughed several times and was emotionally invested. And my jaw dropped at a few careful selected... let's call them heightened moments.
1) Strength in Numbers - 6.5 stars.
2) Don't Fight the Feeling - 6.5 stars.
3) Born To Mack - 7 stars.
4) The Legend of Sleepy Floyd - 9 stars.
(1 viewing, 4/26/2025)
Neighborhood Watch (2025)
Chemistry
If I would describe Neighborhood Watch as an overall movie in one word, it would be... regular? It's a very regular movie. But when done right, a regular movie can be highly enjoyable. This is the perfect example of that.
Jack Quaid gives possibly his best performance. He seems perfect for this role of someone suffering from severe mental illness. Jeffrey Dean Morgan also plays his role well. And their on screen chemistry and character dynamics are a big part of why this movie succeeds.
It also helps to have good writing. Several small parts end up coming into play later. Even if it doesn't have a major impact, these callbacks show that they care about making a good movie. And I was emotionally invested in the story and these characters.
(1 viewing, 4/26/2025)
Havoc (2025)
Unrealistically awesome. Or awesomely unrealistic.
Havoc opens with a chase scene in which I believe the vehicles are fully CGI. Even the way the cars move feels like they have no weight. It's stylized but looks pretty fake. I wasn't sure how to feel about it.
A good way through the runtime, it felt like it was on its way to being another forgettable streaming movie. Then an action scene happens involving mostly hand-to-hand combat. And suddenly I couldn't stop smiling and/or had my jaw dropped.
I'm not easy to please when it comes to fight scenes. But this one does everything right. The hits are hard. I can see everything clearly. No shaky cam or quick cuts. Beautiful choreography.
At the same time, it's intentionally over-the-top. There is so much blood, hits that would likely kill a person in real life. The gun fights are the same way. It takes like 20 shots to kill someone. And I ate it all up. I laughed out loud multiple times at the extent of the carnage.
It has a pretty good story that kept me invested. I enjoyed the musical score. Tom Hardy is a beast, both as an actor and in his action scenes (dude does MMA for fun). And where has Timothy Olyphant been!? He was a great addition to this cast.
Overall I had an awesome time with this movie. Realism need not apply. Turn your brain off and enjoy the amazing stylized violence on display. As an action junkie, I strongly approve.
(1 viewing, 4/24/2025)
In the Lost Lands (2025)
Poor imitation
I've been watching the husband-wife team of director Paul W. S. Anderson and actress Milla Jovovich since I watched the first Resident Evil in theaters when I was 17. How time flies.
I gave up on the Resident Evil movies long ago. And this definitely has a similar feel to those later ones. But so many parts reminded me of other movies/shows, done much worse. To name a few: Game of Thrones (same author), Dune, Mad Max: Fury Road, Rebel Moon, Jupiter Ascending. There are probably more. It feels like a mashup of so many different things, resulting in it feeling unoriginal and forgettable.
I enjoyed the visuals. And many of the elements are serviceable (but still unoriginal/forgettable). But so much of this movie makes no sense or is just plain stupid.
(1 viewing, 4/24/2025)
Until Dawn (2025)
Sigh
Another 2025 release. Another sigh as I leave the theater. Just to be clear, I'm not part of the "movies aren't as good as they used to be" crowd. But 2025 has been the weakest year I can remember (excluding the theater shut downs in 2020). And it's even more frustrating with Until Dawn because it had potential.
We've seen this premise done a hundred times. But it seemed like they were going to modify the usual route by including various types of horror subgenres, which intrigued me. Until they throw that concept out and just start throwing everything at the wall to see what sticks... which ends up being almost none. Everything feels generic.
And of course we have a ton of extremely stupid things to make fun of, both with bad writing, and characters who alternate between being idiots and just being lame. By the end I was completely unengaged. The jump scares stopped making me jump, even in Dolby Cinema where the bass makes the chairs shake. I just didn't care.
Aside from a few cool horror elements, some successful jump scares, and a few enjoyable shock factor moments, I had a terrible time with this movie.
(1 viewing, opening Thursday Dolby Cinema 4/24/2025)
Locked (2025)
Phone Booth in a car
The premise of Locked is as basic as they come. Yet I found myself more engaged and entertained than most of the other movies I've watched in this extremely weak 2025. It gave me Phone Booth vibes (2002). And like Phone Booth, it hinges significantly on the lead giving a great performance. Colin Farrell succeeded. And so does Bill Skarsgård.
Additionally, Anthony Hopkins is a perfect choice for this voice performance. And his sadistic laugh repeatedly made me smile. He reminded me of a milder Jigsaw.
In many cases with a basic premise, it feels like the movie is stalling with filler because there isn't enough substance to move the story forward. But this is surprisingly fast-paced with things happening in the first 30 minutes that other movies would have stretched out for the entire runtime.
I doubt this will be anyone's favorite movie. But I think most will enjoy it.
(1 viewing, 4/24/2025)
Hell of a Summer (2023)
Not worth your time
It now makes more sense to me why it took until 2025 to release this 2023 movie. It's just not good. Below average in every category. End of review.
Fine, I'll say more. I normally enjoy the horror-comedy tone they were going for, but the comedic attempts at their best only made me smirk. The cast is extremely weak. The dialogue and story is as basic as it gets.
There is a decent opening scene with a cool kill. But then the kills are offscreen. Why? This is a slasher. I ended up quitting the movie after 45 minutes (about halfway through). But apparently most of the kills are offscreen. Just a baffling decision.
(1 viewing, 4/22/2025)
Ash (2025)
I really wish this was better
As a self-proclaimed sci-fi junkie, I was ecstatic with the start of this movie. The tone is dark and unnerving. It's visually mesmerizing, filled with beautiful sci-fi imagery, even trippy at times. The sci-fi elements are creative and unique. And it has some great music.
All of those positives stay true through the end of the movie. Everything is set up for success. Except... the story is useless, the acting ranges from mediocre to terrible, the dialogue is as basic as it gets. That's how you take a great setup and result in a completely forgettable movie.
I always love SEEING Eiza Gonzalez, but it does not seem like she is lead role material. This movie is not terrible and has a lot of good, it just doesn't come together anywhere near the way it should.
(1 viewing, 4/22/2025)
Kneecap (2024)
Cultural preservation
I watched Kneecap early as part of AMC's Screen Unseen. I had never heard of it so it was a fun experience going in completely blind.
Kneecap is a fun movie with likeable characters and some beastly music. As a rap fan, I was impressed with the rhyming as well as the HARD beats. And the movie overall is stylistic in a very cool way.
The themes of this movie stood out the most. It does a great job demonstrating subjects like cultural preservation, historical trauma being engrained in your DNA, and resisting against the control of your colonizer. As a Palestinian, all of these themes hit me hard.
The only downside I have is not being able to understand a lot of the dialogue. This is due to the accents and slang, as well as references to Ireland-specific terms. If you watch this in theaters, you may want to ask for a closed captioning device.
Erin go Bragh (Ireland Forever) and Free Palestine!
(1 viewing, early screening AMC Screen Unseen 7/22/2024)
The Surfer (2024)
Happy for Cage, but wish I liked it more
That's the same headline I used for Longlegs. I continue to root for Cage and his resurgence over the past few years. I'm glad he's getting roles in theatrical movies. And I will still watch basically anything he's in.
The Surfer is a generally well-made movie and a stark contrast to the straight-to-streaming garbage he was busting out for a while. It has a simple premise that continues to evolve, with a decent amount of intrigue.
Overall, I wasn't a huge fan of this movie. It's a little too artistic and metaphorical for my liking. And I left the cinema a bit unsatisfied.
At least I had the pleasure of witnessing another memorable Cage performance.
(1 viewing, early screening Mystery Movie Monday 4/21/2025)