Ardennes Fury

I mean, how can you do anything worse than this? A bunch of G.I. running around with rifles not knowing what to do, matched by a equally idiotic bunch of German with an idiot as a major who wanted to get important information from an ordinary private. Plus a good looking nun who got panicky at every turn of events, an old nun who had to step on a mine and two kids who ran around in a battlefield like they were in an amusement park! And the tanks! Oh God, you would think they could only shoot at point blank, and miss! I just cannot understand who would invest money into making such kind of crap.

And what is more, the whole time the weather was just perfect and there was not a single American plane in sight. Guess that is why the German can afford to take it easy and hang their clothes out to dry.

Anyway, if you want a love, watch this movie.

Is there such a thing a "C" movie? If not then there should be for Ardennes Fury. I watched the whole thing!! There should be a medal for that!!! There were technical problems with uniforms, equipment, weapons, tanks, vehicles and even jargon. "Copy that" is not the expression that would have been used in 1945. The combat scenes were strange to say the least. Combat scenes seemed to be more an exercise in sharpshooting. The actions of both the Americans and the Nazis were - strange/different. For example people were standing up in the movie where real soldiers would have had their faces in the dirt. There was a scene where a nun had stepped on a mine. What followed was "Everything you don't do with a mine". My only addition is that I found the movie totally unbelievable.

I'm not usually one to pick on small details or historical inaccuracy, but this was too much. Having wasted 90 minutes of my life, the least I could do now is help spare someone else from the same fate.

A point form summary of why/how this film is awful, in the order I noticed them when I was watching it.

• the fireballs from when tanks fire at each other are glaringly obviously CGI animations and look completely unrealistic

• the soldiers shoot at each other while standing in front of their respective tanks, while those tanks fire at each other

• the Germans are unbelievably dumb and also can't shoot for their life (literally). They're also apparently using Soviet T-34 tanks.

• the Germans also speak English. To each other. They may throw in occasional German words, like "Ja, officer" or "Granate". You know, German phrases easily understood by a typical American audience. It's ridiculous. And it occurs repeatedly, constantly reminding you of how absurd this film is.

• when three German soldiers (one an officer with an STG assault rifle) see two Americans carrying small tanks of fuel, they prefer to run after the Americans while firing single shots (and missing all of them) instead of just stopping to get a clear shot at the enemy. Oh, did I mention the two groups were running about 5 meters apart?

• when kids head loud sounds, they may or may not randomly run away from the protection of their parents and friendly soldiers, out into the woods, getting themselves killed/captured

• if a sniper shoots directly at an American in an open field, the bullet somehow manages to ricochet off his helmet.

• killing several German fire teams is no sweat, but when you meet another in your way, the Americans decide that the 4 guys standing out in an open road is suddenly too much for them to take.

• sneaking around four guys on a road by going around through the forest apparently takes an extra 20 minutes, making that a non-option

Here's the last and arguably most laughable part. I'd almost suggest you get the movie simply for this part simply because of it near- comedic aspect.

• hitting someone's head with a small MP40 submachine gun will cause their head to become a pile of gory god knows what. I couldn't even see a face. It looked like the guy's head disappeared and there was some scattered mass blood, brains, and whatever else what where his head used to be. That's the result of an injured man hitting another man with a small metal object 3 times.

That's all I can remember off the top of my head, but there's undoubtedly so much more.

I agree with all the other posts but I also would like to say the German uniforms were mismatched bad. The officer wore a 3rd Ss isignia but the arm band didn't say totenkomp is appeared to be Adolf Hitler! What the hell was the fake truck that couldn't out run a tank that had what looked like the front of a dodge weapons carrier w a fake axle and a humvie bed! And firing an unloaded German m-g 42 out the bank! And the airplanes come on! Or the officer shoots the lady in the back from 5 feet but then it shows them 300 feet apart!! Should I go one.... Plz quit making films u suck! How old is the private getting tortured 35? Why are they they so unable to take a direct order rather than debate it? Why do they all clump up in a mob rather than spread out so they don't all die at once? Why do they burry the kid way out in the open fearing being shot? The Ss were the most furocious fighting force way better than ours just not enough of them and you make them look like the draft is idiots! You suck

Ardennes Fury is a very poorly done movie that does more wrong than it does right, but ranking it in The Asylum consistently dubious filmography it is nowhere near their worst. It at least has some very nice scenery and some of the pacing is tolerable, but Ardennes Fury had a low-budget and had little time to be made and unfortunately it does show. There are worse-looking Asylum movies around, at least the scenery looks like scenery and not like someone's basement or a deserted factory, but the camera work and editing are incredibly rushed and erratic, the special effects are artificial at best and look like over-sized toys and the movie is shot far too drably. The music is loud but not dynamic and could have done with more pulse, some of it is overly-loud drone-like, the best parts not being very memorable. The dialogue has a lot of military jargon and they're often incorporated in a clumsy way, the script itself is very stilted and disjointedly structured. There is at least a story here, the problem is it is also very basic and repetitive, granted it's good to keep things simple sometimes but when not much happens it actually feels simplistic instead. The dramatic parts lack any kind of heart and veer on overwrought while the battle scenes are erratically edited and have very little spirit and intensity. Much has been said already about the inaccuracies there are here(as well as the kitchen-sink-like clichés Ardennes Fury has), but this review is not going to comment on them other than that some of the inaccuracies are so blatant and wrong that it's ridiculous but rather on the movie's merits(or lack of). The characters are too stock and underwritten to be interesting, and while there is effort to show some conflicts and consequences there's very little if any emotional depth behind them. The acting is stiff across the board especially from the villains, who are also overacted too and hugely unconvincing as Germans. Overall, The Asylum has done much worse than Ardennes Fury, but Ardennes Fury regardless of the effort it did make had very little good going for it. 2/10 Bethany Cox