Bikini Car Wash

This was poorly written, and the acting was just below b-movie standards.

The soundtrack was ok, but whoever edited this needs to go back to school, because the soundtrack is annoyingly always playing even while people are talking and it seems like it's in the foreground instead of the background.

This movie is about meeting chicks through a car wash. It's a business movie at its heart, but about the women mainly. The women are hot. End of story.

I don't know. It is what it is.

2 stars

'All American Bikini Car Wash' knows what it is, their core audience and at the very least supplies it's namesake. Pretty ladies in bikinis for that montage intro & throughout. Problem is the wrapper containing it all is a bore. DV experience filmed adequately retains the simplicity of a once classic genre, but without any charm or nudity.

Las Vegas college student Jack (Jack Cullison) has a lost job, a strict father then fails his final. The professor will pass him though if he'll take over running his carwash for a week and turn a profit. Between Jack & best friend Vex (Jason Lockhart) the idea is hatched to hire ladies in bikinis which sees business boom, but not without complications.

Loose plot threads about lying, honesty is hardly interesting stuff and much the same said for multiple romance subplots. Dialog runs the gamut from adequate to flat. All the prerequisite characters types are here. A mildly decent main, shy gals, horndog and nerd. Girls on the cover are for real too (sans heavy photoshop or getting naked).

With a title like that, I wasn't surprised to find 'All American Bikini Car Wash' quality or lack thereof. I was however disappointed it didn't at all satisfy where it matters the most. Which left me to soak up the suspect acting, thirty year olds playing college kids weak drama. Stick with 92's 'Bikini Carwash Company' if you wanna see the formula done right.

Two reviewer accounts created on the same day as their only review posted. Don't be fooled by the high rating on this stinker. Anyone with half a brain couldn't watch this without cringing. It's a complete mess and a disaster of a movie. Ot's not worth the time to write this review, other than to off-set the fake reviews posted by crew members or people directly associated with the movie. A closer look at the profiles of those that give the highly rated reviews clearly shows that the profiles were created to review this movie (likely created around the time of the completion of filming but months before the film's distribution). When reviewers have only been in existence for less than a year prior to the movie release and give it 9 or 10 stars, with that movie being the only movie they review, the numbers are inflated to reflect those higher numbers.

I've a soft spot for the sort of films this tries to ape, puerile teen movies with questionable scripts and pop rock soundtracks (American Pie, Road Trip etc). This is by far the worst I've ever seen.

Direction that makes George Lucas look Kubrickian.

The writing is so poor, thatat one point in the 90 minute soft focus soft porn boob shot, a character actually utters something to the effect of 'nudity is fine, in context'. I'm adlibbing a little because i've scrubbed this from my mind already. My first review on IMDb, and already i'm hoping for better.