Blood Lake: Attack of the Killer Lampreys

Knowing (and dreading…) the The Asylum production studios, it has to be said immediately that "Blood Lake: etc…" is a lot less rubbishy then their usual work. By no means should you expect a great movie, obviously, but at least this isn't as insultingly retarded and preposterous as for example - oh I don't know - "Sharknado" or "Mega Piranha". The main reasons why this film is more or less a success, I presume, are the original choice of animal species (so original even that Animal Planet aired the film) and the fact that it's largely an old-fashioned type of 'creature feature horror flick in terms of plot, characters and structure. Haters could of course quote this last argument to claim that "Blood Lake" is very clichéd and derivative, but I firmly believe that ALL animal attack movies are fundamentally a rip-off of the almighty "Jaws". Although filmed in sunny California, the events supposedly takes place in a little lake town in the state of Michigan. They struggle with a lamprey infestation, and after the aggressive eel-like monsters devoured all the fish in the lakes, they break through the hydraulic turbines and into the city's water reservoir. The simple plot easily allows all the familiar clichés to be present. There's the obnoxious mayor who severely underestimates the dangerous situation and absolutely wants to avoid at all costs that his town gets negatively portrayed in the media, the hero's disobedient teenage daughter who flees from her bedroom and ends up in peril and the chaotic beach attacks. It's all very enjoyable since director James Cullen Bressack assures there is sufficient action and not too much idiocy. The Asylum has the bad habit of over-sizing their monsters, but the lampreys luckily remain their natural modest size. The film stars a few familiar faces, most notably Christopher Lloyd as the outrageous mayor and Shannen Doherty as the concerned family mother. Shannen got a little chubby in the face, but hey, she's a woman over forty now and no longer the rebellious Breda from "Beverly Hills 90210".

Anyone that even remotely liked this movie is ether brain dead or worked on its production. There is just nothing good to say about it except it does end. The story is stupid, the special effects are as fake as the setting, there are no palm trees in Michigan, the music sounds more like it should be playing in a funeral home, the acting is really bad, I am just amazes that Americans waste there time making something so bad that a person feels robbed of his own time watching it. I would have not even given it one star but there is no option for that. The people that made this movie should be ashamed of themselves. Christopher Loyd has sunk to a low level and I really like him and it is sad that this is all he can get as a acting job. The only thing I wanted to happen to the cast is they all should have been killed by the Lampreys, that would be the only justification for staring in this mess of a movie.

I normally like to watch these types of movies, once in a while. I enjoy them as comedic entertainment. But, I have to say this movie was not even entertaining. The acting was just awful from everyone, especially the guy in charge of eliminating the problem, and husband to Shannon. Ugh. Skip this one, there are others much better than this.

This movie wasn't bad considering it was done by the Asylum. The same Asylum who did all those "cheesy" SyFy movies. The only thing that ruined this movie was the fact that I've lived in Michigan most of my life, and the scenery was not Michigan. It was California. Not taking anything away from California, but I'm familiar with that area, and it is much more beautiful than in the movie. They didn't use a fictatious lake in the movie, and they could have added to the movie by filming it in the area. The only thing that was Michigan in this movie was the license plates on the vehicles, and maybe the Sea Lampreys. The movie seemed to be well done otherwise, and the acting was OK. I was surprised to find this movie airing on Animal Planet. I missed a good portion of it, but it showed again, so I was able to record it to my DVR. If you like a decent monster flick this one will work in a pinch.

As someone who grew up watching good monster flicks, it kills me to see what has happened to the genre over the years, what with the crappy CGI and lack of effort from everyone involved. Sadly instead of getting better, things just keep on getting worse as demonstrated by the recent "Blood Lake: Attack of the Killer Lampreys". Airing on Animal Planet (Animal Planet? What the hell!!!) it presents your run of the mill nature gone wild story when more aggressive than normal blood sucking lampreys (scary, real-life snake like fish) invade a lake near a small town in Michigan. Now in the right hands, this may have ended up being some what of a decent flick. Unfortunately, it becomes a prime example of bad movie making without the so bad it's good quality. A big problem with the film is that there is not a single ounce of tension to be found anywhere. Instead, people just die violent deaths and you end up with something more disgusting than scary. Second, the special effects, (if you can call them that!) would make even the crappiest effects from fifty years ago look spectacular in comparison. But perhaps the biggest reason why the film fails is the lack of care from the actors. In the old days, when actors did monster flicks they undoubtedly knew they weren't doing Shakespeare. But that didn't stop them from giving everything they had to the part and as a result, even a cheap grade B movie could end up being something memorable. Here, you can just tell the actors' hearts just aren't in it. Even Christopher Lloyd (Yes, that Christopher Lloyd!) fails to give his usual eccentric, bigger than life performance. Then again, looking at what he has to work with, I can't say I blame him and the same would probably go to all the other actors involved. If Animal Planet wants to have its own drama shows, then maybe they should bring back productions like "Lost Tapes". It may have been a bit of a rip off of "The Blair Witch Project", but at least the people involved there gave a damn about what they were doing. I could go on but you get the point. My best advice to you is to avoid this film at all costs and as for the actors involved, disavow and deny that you had any part in this disaster what so ever!!