Bikini Swamp Girl Massacre

Intent upon discovering the great outdoors, a group of women decide to take a tour into the Everglades and camp out for a couple of days. However, when they get there a man named "Ron" (Ron Henry) warns them that it isn't safe to stay there because there is an evil Seminole spirit known as "Coowahchohee" (Ted Vernon) who comes out during this particular time of the year and either kills or kidnaps any young females that he can find. Not caring to hear anything that Ron tells them they chase him off and decide to stay. Then, one by one, they begin to vanish. Now rather than reveal any more of this movie and risk spoiling it for those who haven't seen it I will just say that this is basically a horror film which suffers from its extremely low budget. Of course, being produced by Troma and with a title like "Bikini Swamp Girl Massacre" I suppose one shouldn't expect too much to begin with. Yet, although the acting, special effects and the accompanying script were quite bad, the plot moved along at an adequate enough pace to at least keep my attention to a certain degree. However, other than the presence of "Tonya" (Jenny Scordamaglia) I honestly didn't see anything worthwhile about this movie and I have rated it accordingly. Below average.

Badly shot, scored, bad effects, bad everything. A cut every second makes it worse. There's a 1966 film shot in the Glades called Death Curse of Tartu by Wlliam Grefe that might be the far superior source material for this dreck. The three girls in Tartu were gorgeous. The girls who get slaughtered in this film are far from attractive with the exception of Miami TV host Jenni Scordamaglia.

Granted that this is a Troma movie, but still I had expected a bit more from these people.

I had not even heard about "Bikini Swamp Girl Massacre" prior to stumbling upon it by sheer random luck. I looked at the cover and immediately knew that with a title like that it was bound to be either a glorious spoof of a horror comedy or it was going to suck big time.

It turned out to be the latter...

I managed to endure "Bikini Swamp Girl Massacre" for about 50 minutes before I was ready to claw my eyes out and just tossed in the towel and gave up. The movie was unfathomably bad. From the laughable and stupid storyline to the atrocious acting performances put on by some of the actors and actresses in the movie.

Sure, not much can be expected from a Troma movie, but I will say that the production value of this movie was definitely notched up tremendously in comparison to many of their other movies. Thumbs up for that, but it was hardly enough to salvage the movie in any way.

The special effects in the movie were as to be expected. But hey, at least it felt like they were trying. And that's got to count for something, right?

With my interest utterly shattered in this movie, there is no chance that I am returning to finish watching the rest of "Bikini Swamp Girl Massacre", even with its corny and catchy title. It was just not worth the time, money or effort.

I was expecting a crappy fun movie, with bad acting, writing and directing. That's exactly what this movie brings. But, oh my god, there's something magical, that I wouldn't believe if someone told me about it. The editing. I can't tell if the editor ever saw a movie, for real. Normal, dialogues scenes, have a cut per second, sometimes even more. Cutting to reaction shots from characters that are not even important to whats being said. Music cues that makes no sense to the scene. Laughable choices that I can't make justice in here. I urge you, seek it and watch it, it's as bad as it could be.

All that's not even talking about a white actor playing an native american in the most offensive portrayal I've ever seen, and he seems clueless, no harm meant, i guess. That makes it so funny. I LOVE THIS MOVIE

This crappy movie was made crappy on purpose, as Troma films always are. You must be either stoned or very drunk on tequila to appreciate and enjoy this film.