Tonight It's Me

Tonight It's Me managed to leave me restless for quite a while. Perhaps, this is the way it should feel after watching a good movie. My first, and not very favorable, opinion (I thought the plot was the only thing the authors decided to emphasize) was soon replaced by desire to watch it again. As I had questions popping up in my head one after another – and they needed answers. The story told was so full with signs that I had to study perfumery, music and even delve into particulars of real estate market in California. Of course, without all those details meeting of a hustler and a trans woman in the process of transformation does not become less interesting. Nevertheless, decoding those signs is something that gives every viewer this special, and very welcome, feeling of presence – as close to the main characters as possible.

Despite seeming provocativeness, this chamber piece tells a very simple story. A story of how hard it is to be sincere with each other, and a story of love – of love that appears as soon as a wall between you and other person starts crumbling. The issue of sincerity finds its clear reflection in the Russian title of the movie - Tonight I'll be myself. The title is nice, but it's better suited for some other movie, a movie with a clear idea of explicit decision. CJ, on the other hand, is a different person every night, with every client (today, for an instance, he is a guy from Utah). And Ash, on the contrary, has to repeat, over and over again, that she is not a person she seems to be. This is why the heroes have to face sincerity, quite unplanned and unprompted.

For CJ, Ash intended to be just another client, no matter how unusual she was. But the expected way of events gets disrupted – first, by her toast and then by the words said in the bedroom. And while CJ is quite accustomed to the impudent curiosity of aging moneybags, sincere interest of Ash makes him vulnerable. When CJ draws a long dark lock of her hair through his fingers on the terrace, with the lights of a sleeping city on a backdrop, it seems like he is trying to disentangle a thread's end from a tight knotty ball of her soul, doesn't notice his own thread getting loose, and they get interlinked, entangled and start forming a new united ball of thread.

The key scene of the movie is the scene with the "Two truths, one lie" game. The apparently innocent way to change the subject of the conversation makes you understand what kind of life experience both characters had before meeting each other. After watching a movie you can spend hours arguing with your friends about what was false and true. But to know for sure you have to wait for the sequel Today It's You which is already in plans. Or – you can watch the movie once again, but paying more attention. You have to be very strong physically to kill a person with your own hands because it takes a great deal of struggle. And only a person who went through this can point out, with so much impatience and even a bit of mockery, how slender Ash's hands are. It is easy to imagine CJ (because of the specific nature of his job) or Ash (because of her look) trying to protect themselves desperately at some point.

The film has two sex scenes: one motivated by money, and another one for love. There are two shots between them, one game and Ash's evening toilette. When something happens in a woman's life that she can't control, the best decision she can make is to put a red lipstick. It is the only right lipstick color: the color of self- defense that can turn into color of attack in no time. All in all, the bathroom scene is the strongest one in regard to the sensory combination of touch, smell, sight and taste. Wet finish lipstick. Strong cheekbone line and just a little bit of highlighter over the bridge of a nose. Soft brush bristles. Rustling lace and cool silk. A tiny drop of Prada Prada on a wrist... There is a subtle and natural combination of seductiveness and comfort in Ash's image. And there are inseparable feminine vulnerability and strength in her words and actions. No one can accuse her of being vulgar. Her look, her dressing table, her perfumes, intonations, the living room and music, candles that she lights on the terrace... This is why CJ wants to stay (he even asks her). Even though he doesn't completely understand who is before him. So here come the smell of amber and patchouli, the taste of lipstick on the lips, thin line of lace on the angular shoulders, light breeze playing with her freshly laid hair and the offer to stay with no trace of coquetry – it magically touches CJ's body, mind and heart.

Of course, too much wine was drunk at night, and morning comes with a headache, but the new day doesn't come with regret. Ash and CJ don't hurry, but now they need to go different ways to give themselves time to think – even though their thoughts can't influence their feelings or their future.

At last minutes of the movie we see a red trace of Ash's lipstick on CJ's t-shirt, and it accomplishes the message, given in the very beginning. It is some kind of homework, something to think about. You can think a lot about traces that chance encounters leave on our hearts, that sperm and lipstick are not always too different, or that sometimes a cigar is nothing more than a cigar. And in fact, love is the only thing that's really important. Even if it's not going to be an easy one.

I saw this film for the first time in January 2015. I think I may have watched it a 1000 times since. I call saying to myself at the time of the first viewing that I hadn't seen anything quite so stylish - in the genre - before - or since. I am an author, and the ability to tell a story in 13 minutes or so on the screen is akin to telling a story on paper in about 5000 words - I would define that as a vignette. I know how incredibly difficult it is to construct a meaningful short story; by which, I mean one that invokes a deep and lasting emotional response. TIM invoked and continues to invoke a deep emotional response - but I also see it as a work of pure art - watch it without the sound on and see what I mean by that. The juxtaposition of strength and fragility is most compelling to observe. Possibly the one key aspect of the film that sets it apart from the rest is timing - the timing of a word, of a gesture or expression is quite sublime.

Story is nicely done, music and sound is great, Wouldn't have mind it being longer. Not as impactful, but sweet.

It's only a short, so there is not a whole lot else to say. There's some acting and for being so short there's quite a few actors.