Money, Guns, and a Merry Christmas

I gave this movie a 10/10 not because it was a masterpiece, but because it was so mind-blowingly stupid that it became pure entertainment. The sheer absurdity of the plot, the over-the-top action, and the laughably bad dialogue made it impossible to look away. It's one of those films where the more it tries to take itself seriously, the funnier it gets. And the characters are so dumb.

Absolute cinema.

(I need more characters so here's some long words Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis, Floccinaucinihilipilification, Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious, Eellogofusciouhipoppokunurious)

They hooked me with a short clip, but I kept watching because I couldn't believe how bad it is. A middle school rendition of Secret Garden would blow the writing and acting out of the water. If this wasn't written by an actual crazy billionaire who only knew about the concept of a movie I would be shocked. No one talks or acts like a human or seems to do normal human activities at any time and somehow the whole thing was in portrait mode. Honest to heck it feels like a grade school power fantasy fan fic that somehow got enough money together to make a film. Honestly one star is being generous.

I haven't a clue why some people are giving it a 10/10 but this movie doesn't have have a 5/10 story to tell, and acting is equally terrible. The absurdities in it could be best compared to a 90's telenovela, but even less believable with even worse acting, since some telenovelas can be wildly entertaining.

Credit where credit is due though, this one did start out mildly interesting, which is why I gave it a 3 and not a 1. And that is its whole purpose, it wants to get you hooked so that you go and finish the whole thing, which ends up being around 95 minutes or so. But then the more you watch, the dumber it gets. Like, they really don't understand the concept of moderation. It was weird.

I watched the whole thing, it was weirdly compelling. But. Oh. My. God. The writing was truly terrible, more holes in the plot than Swiss cheese. The acting is not much better from most of the cast, although the two leads were pretty good. Honestly just so bad that you can't turn away. The ending is both predictable and unpredictable, in that you expect the main outcome from very early on, but real people just don't behave like this! Also a bunch of people just disappeared so there are loose ends.. Go, watch it! Expect it to be rubbish and you will not be disappointed. Also, enjoy Drew Ater's fabulous cheekbones.

For starters this is the worst script writing and acting I have ever seen in my entire life.

For seconds the website that hosts this site just takes one wrong click to share your data in a hell of a lot of places.

In fairness. 3 of them - the main couple and the grandad could probably act ok if given a better script. I think they did OK considering the total mess they were given.

There is hope for the scriptwriters too. Bioware probably has a job lined up for them ready to ruin something, they'd be perfect for the role.

Do yourself a favour and ignore any reviews above 1/10. It's pretty much the worst thing you'll ever watch. It's not a case of difference of opinion, it's a case of the high ratings are people outright trolling.