Tooken

Bryan Millers is a former CIA agent, now a security guard at a pet store. He still is in love with is ex-wife Lenore who by now is involved with a black former porn actor. Bryan has a teenage daughter who's eager to lose her virginity, something he's not about to let happen. He's also interested in trying the latest ED medication, even though as far as we can tell, he doesn't have a woman.

One night at work he sees a bunch of Albanians loading explosives. He confronts them and next day he walks up to the pet store HQ to again confront the gangsters. We learn that behind them is some sinister figure.

It takes a while but eventually Bryan, his mom--also a former CIA agent, and Lenore get "taken". We learn more about the sinister boss and what he's up to. In the meantime the daughter and Lenore's guy will have to rescue them and Bryan will have to confront the bad guy.

The Taken franchise, and for that matter all Liam Neeson movies, are ideal material for a parody. And initially it looks like Tooken will to just that. This Bryan endlessly brags about his special skills but just like the other Bryan rarely displays the alleged skills. For some reason, Mills' lame friends don't make an appearance here.

Unfortunately, Tooken instead of being a "serious" parody quickly descends into adolescent territory with countless gross moments, that wouldn't be funny even to teenagers. I counted four instances that made me chuckle but there wasn't any particularly funny scene or line. Tooken could have ridiculed the over the top violence, Mills' absurd obsession with his ex, the annoying daughter. But it doesn't. It comes across more like a really poor comedy that was quickly adapted into a Taken scenario.

Wow, this movie is uneven.. There is some quite good writing mixed with, and hidden behind, dumb jokes. In one moment it can be genuinely funny, then the next is not funny at all. But it's general it's not really that bad. Some parts are kind of clever, just a shame it's not more consistent.

The guy sounds like Liam Neeson playing Bryan Mills. He doesn't look much like him. The woman however looks kind of like Famke Jansson playing the wife. It's not much to say about the acting, it's OK.

Unfortunately there is little to no action here. Not much gun-play, not much fighting. I really wish they would have had some more action, it being a spoof of Taken (an excellent action movie btw), but no.

Would be excellent to parody the action of Taken, with one guy killing a whole army, but we get no such thing. That's a shame!

Like I said, there are some good parts, but there are some unfunny, sucky parts. I have seen a lot worse, though!

Let me start by saying that I started hating spoof movies around the time epic movie and date movie came out. In fact the creators of those movies are making a spoof of Taken as well. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3749816/?ref_=nm_flmg_wr_1

It will likely be terrible but this movie is just a fun ride. There isn't as much toilet humor or gross out humor as I expected. Has some really funny jokes and creative ideas. Actually has a half decent budget and isn't filmed over a long weekend like a Seltzer spoof. This movie was already down voted before it even came out of the studio. I really don't think that's fair since everyone who gave this a 1 probably never even seen it. But then again that's IMDb for you. All in all I didn't bust a gut laughing, but at least I didn't pop a vessel in my head. Like one would do during an Aaron Seltzer movie.

They could've done a funny movie. Let's face it, each sequel to Taken became more and more of a spoof of itself, so this movie wasn't necessary. With that said. This movie sucked.

I do not recommend. I gave this a 1-star rating, and it's not a solid one-star. More like 1/10 of 1-star. Yes, folks, it was that bad. Do not watch this expecting a funny take on the Taken series. If you want a good spoof on a movie, "The Three Musketeers" with Kiefer Sutherland was good. "Hot Shots, Part Deux" was fun. "Tooken" sucks so much, it puts porn stars to shame. Again, yes, it was that bad. If you watch this, don't say you weren't warned.

Lee Turgidsen is OK. Not very funny, but he is spoofing Liam Neeson, so it works. Reno Wilson is by far a lot more entertaining when he is in a scene.

Lauren Stamile plays the ex-wife of Turgidsen and she is also fun. She is in a relationship with Reno.

The daughter does not actually get kidnapped by the Albanians. The story is about a pet store that sells dogs with bombs in their butts. Sounds dumber when you watch it on TV.

The Albanians are probably the funniest actors in this movie. This is not a bad movie, but if you are sleepy (late night) watching it, the slow pace and timing of the jokes works better.