Warlord

What in the hell did I just watch? I'm sat stunned by the sheer audacity that people are responsible for churning this plate of utter crap out. I've no idea of what actually went on because it makes no sense. Nothing really happens. It's just a complete waste of time and effort.

I love a good fantasy film but this is fantasy for the wrong reason. They've obviously fantasised that anyone would be slightly interested in watching such drivel.

The acting is terrible. The settings are done in some park woodland. The script and story are just all over the place. This is just so bad on all levels. Charges should be brought against all those involved in it.

The Good News: The cinematography and acting are decent. Too bad you don't see a fantasy movie for the acting.

The plot is boringly xenophobic and the usual anti-authority: The elves and humans don't get along, with the humans holding all of the cards and the elves being exiled to the woods. The sheriff is right from the Stock Evil collection: He's running roughshod over the local population while forcefully taking control of the bakeries and forcing others into the mines.

In other words, nothing you really haven't seen before. Adding to the fun is the usual over-the-top violence.

Then there's the ending, which isn't exactly your feel-good ending, which comes from nowhere. It's nice that the bad guys get punished, but only by making the chasm between elves and humans even deeper. It's the sole surprise in the movie.

All told, there is a surprise ending to the movie, but it's unlikely most people would last past the first twenty minutes. There's a lot of scenery chewing, but it doesn't really add to the movie and most of it has no payoff. You can miss this movie with little worry of missing anything important.

My favorite actor is Bruce Campbell. While I enjoy blockbusters, I do enjoy B movies. First, the opening "Star Wars" scroll was not only too small to read quickly, but written so poorly I almost didn't watch the movie. There are some good actors, but not the elf leader. Speaking of Elfs.. my geek past of D&D and LotR.. Elfs are blonde, very thin, agile and great with a bow. Not in this movie. It was an ok movie and some mid and less characters were good actors. Writers and parts of the costumes were as bad as the poor, chunky elf leader.

Who is this made for? I watched the entire first 30 minutes and still have no clue what this is about. Fantasy movie only in name and costumes. All they do is talk. Boring as boring can be. If you have children be careful, there is a scene where a guy is running in the woods naked and his privates are clearly outlined as he prances around. Bizarre. He gets caqptured, castrated and tar and feathered by the elves. Adds nothing to the movie except more disgust and makes no sense. This is not a spoiler, there is nothing here to spoil. I think that is the main action scene in this bore fest.

Listen, I adore Lord of Rings, most fantasy tv shows, and cut them a lot of slack. I forgive much. I am a fantasy geek hardcore. But this thing is not a proper movie. Not even a proper play. Every high school play is better than this. Maybe it was crowd funded? I want my half hour back.

I did fast forward to make sure there were no later scenes to redeem it. But no, zero.

Before I go any further, it is worth mentioning that apparently this had a budget of only £300. If that is correct then for the budget, it's an ok film.

However, the story line is very slow and it jumps to much. From the off it is very confusing and doesn't grip you. The acting is very subpar and the visuals are not appealing.

Billy Boyd does a good job in his role and if I am honest, he was my only draw to giving Warlord a chance.

A very disappointing film that somehow won some awards and had several nominations. If the budget had been much higher then this could have been an outstanding film, sadly it isn't.

I have given this 5 out of 10 due to the low budget.